Los Angeles – An online porn payment company is offering a load of advice to wacky Anne Heche’s estranged and allegedly whack-happy husband, Coley Lafoon: Stop getting caught with your pants down!

TMZ has obtained a letter sent by PureVanilla.com VP Kevin Blatt, explaining how Coley might address his purported hobby in the future:

Coley Laffoon:

We understand where you are coming from. So you looked at a little porn? What guy doesn’t? If your ex Anne Heche was the judge, ANY guy looking at porn could be considered a “porn-addict with compulsive masturbation problems.” Well, we know that’s not true about you. For innocent guys like yourself, THE CRIME WASN’T LOOKING — THE CRIME WAS GETTING CAUGHT!!

We are prepared to offer you something that will protect your privacy — A PureVanilla.com Gold Card. With it you can join a ton of sites without anyone ever finding out — the website names don’t show up on your credit card statements, and the websites never have access to your personal information — so nobody will find out what you’re doing. You are completely anonymous! It’s perfect for celebrities who need privacy but want to look at porn (Charlie Sheen, are you listening??) PureVanilla.com is the only company that can offer privacy protection on every transaction you make through us.

So what do you say, Coleman? Wanna look at some more porn (without getting CAUGHT, that is)??