from www.bleedingcool.com -Maybe I should give a little background.

People will steal anything not nailed to the floor. The music industry knows this too well. Hollywood has felt the bite as bad as anyone. And the already marginalized medium of comic books has been further gutted by digital piracy. Most people are stuck on an ideological fence between understanding that items not paid for cost someone a job and, on the other hand, just wanting sh*t for free.

But in all our hand wringing and shoulder shrugging, we’ve forgot to extend our pity to another industry taking a beating by piracy: porn.

Pornography –the reason the Internet was created– is more freely available online than any other product. So what has the industry done to defend itself?

Parody.

Parody has greater crossover appeal than gonzo pornography and, if the source material has a cult following, can inspire collectors. Forward-thinking smut peddlers have been producing loose (no pun) adaptations of well-known properties for a long time. But only recently was it discovered that parody is recession-resistant. So the floodgates opened and a glut of films rushed to market without much quality control. Some did well and others failed, but what worked became clear: Respect for the original property. People want laughs and they want sex, but what they value more is adherence to the tone and texture of their favorite films/television shows.

So here I am. On the set of the New Sensations film, Star Trek: The Next Generation, A XXX Parody.

Lovingly written and directed by Sam Hain (I suspect this isn’t his Christian name), this film is as accurate a depiction of Star Trek characters sex lives as you’re likely to find. A true Trekkie, Hain has gone to great lengths to retain not only the feel of the series but also as many nuances as possible.

“I don’t write the sex scenes,” Hain tells me. “I’m always thinking of the story first. When I get to a sex scene I’ll just note if it’s boy/girl or girl/girl or whatever, and keep going.” The result is a top-tier bit of fan fiction, with emphasis on character.

Sam’s long-term goals rest outside pornography, but he’s determined to use the resources he currently has to as great affect as possible. Star Trek: The Next Generation, A XXX Parody is high budget (for pornography) and he hopes to exceed fans expectations with the set and digital effects.

I can attest that the sets are painstakingly crafted. The bridge looks very much like the bridge, but don’t expect an exact replica. Because while parody is protected by the First Amendment, there are still a number of trademarks to avoid. New Sensations has a team of big brained lawyers research every possible infringement before they even begin casting. The bottom line in porn has become so thin that any legal action against the production can render the whole project unprofitable.

The cast is surprisingly dead-on. Rocco Reed could use a slightly thicker moustache for his portrayal of Riker, but the makeup people have managed some real miracles in the forms of Worf and Ro Laren. [Fun fact: the ridges in Worf’s head are visually too distinct and were altered slightly for this production to avoid trademark issues.]

In addition to being well cast, the talent is enthusiastic about the work. Almost all report being fans of the original series, though most took only a passive interest in the Next Generation. Dana Dearmond, known from her social media self-promotion as “The Internet’s Girlfriend”, is the only dyed in the wool TNG superfan. Coming from a military family, she suspects the rigid Federation hierarchy appealed to her folks. Her father was overjoyed when she called to say she had landed the part in the parody version.

Picard will be portrayed by a notable Picard impersonator who, for this production, will be credited simply as Giles. Giles clearly has a lot of experience on the deck of a starship and kept the cast on task throughout the ten-hour shooting days. I should mention that he will not be having sex in this film. When the time comes for Picard to get nasty, a stunt cock will be on hand (no pun) to deliver the goods. That stunt cock appears courtesy of Xander Covus. A 22-year-old Ohio native, Covus reports being a porn star is “A dream come true. But not just because I bang hot chicks. That part’s awesome too. But the real reason it’s a dream come true is it fits my lifestyle. I’m my own boss.”

India Summer, a former Iowa state worker who started in adult film at 30, prepared by watching old episodes of TNG. She’s worked with New Sensations in the past, notably as Angela in a parody of “Who’s the Boss?” She’ll be playing two very different crew members, a testament to both her acting ability and the film’s makeup people.

Geordi La Forge is played convincingly by Tyler Knight. A classically trained thespian that shared acting coaches with the likes of Brad Pitt, Knight had never thought about doing porn. But after hitting 30, he reluctantly admitted to himself that Hollywood is both racist and ageist. It seemed certain he’d be working bit parts for the rest of his career. While walking out of a library, he was approached by a man asking if he “had ever thought about being in the movies.” The rest is history. Knight worked at his new craft and is now a top-tier cocksman. He’s also receiving notoriety for his writing. Knight’s blog became so popular it reached the radar of literary agents. He hopes to transition into writing full time soon.

Lee Bang, a former SAG card-carrying character actor, is playing Worf. Bang believes the line between mainstream film and pornography has blurred and will continue to do so until the two are indistinguishable. In his words, “You like Bruce Willis? Think Die Hard was cool? How much cooler would it have been if after all that action he went home and fucked a hot woman?” A compelling argument, and I’m pulling for Bang’s film theory to prove true. Hopefully Star Trek The Next Generation: A XXX Parody is a step in that direction.