The N.Y. Post reports: GIRLS Gone Wild goon Joe Francis is suing the University of Texas student who accused him of raping her in Miami two weeks ago. He wants $25,000,036. Francis claims he and the woman had consensual sex while her friend and Francis’ bodyguard were in the same suite. Over lunch at L.A.’s La Scala, Francis told “Celebrity Justice” reporter Chrissy Albice, “I mean come on – [the alleged victim] ordered a Ritz burger from room service the next day and ate every last french fry, then asked me for money to pay for her rent-a-car. She gave me her phone number and wanted me to call her, but I threw it out. She was disgusting. She chewed with her mouth open. So gross. Like I need to drug someone to have sex with them.”

As for the odd $36 tacked on to the end of the $25 million? Francis fumed, “I also want to be reimbursed for the $36 I spent on the hamburgers and fries these women devoured before they left my hotel room. If she was going to make up a story that she had been raped, she should have mentioned it before she asked me to buy her and a friend lunch.”