Porn Valley- Skeeter Kerkove’s got a bug up his ass about porn critic Roger T. Pipe that a dozen cans of Raid can’t extinguish.
T. Pipe today commented on some of the things Skeeter had to say regarding an incident at an XRCO awards show several years ago where Bridgette Kerkove allegedly tossed a drink in T. Pipe’s face and supposedly spit on him. Skeeter claims this is the way it went down. T. Pipe claims it wasn’t as bad as all that, and that Bridgette didn’t spit in his face. T. Pipe says Bridgette later called and apologized.
“God bless her if she did,” says Skeeter who goes on to allege that both Aurora Snow and Layla Jade did POV scenes with T. Pipe and that he was a “trick.”. T. Pipe says this never happened, as well, but Skeeter claims he heard it from both women and that Aurora Snow told him about the T. Pipe incident with Jay Ashley present.
“Aurora told me that- that’s it,” says Skeeter. “And I know exactly what Layla Jade told me when we picked her up at her hotel off of the 405 Freeway and Roscoe. I remember that well.”
“I do appreciate him saying something nice about Bridgette because he never once had before,” Skeeter continues. “But the truth of the matter is, that man never once said anything nice about her. And Bridgette knocked that drink out of his fucking hand and wanted me to beat his ass down for all the mean things he had ever said about her, Jill Kelly and Jenna Jameson and all types of other girls.
“He has said mean things about Bridgette that, indeed, make her cry. When Bridgette saw Roger T. Pipe that was it. Plus she was over emotional and she was pregnant.”
“Reviewers do not need to tear apart people by the way they look,” Skeeter believes. “They do not need to have a personal involvement in a review. They need to review a movie for what it is. If you love a Jules Jordan movie, if you love an Eric Everhard movie, and you review a Paul Thomas Vivid feature and go on and on how you don’t like it because you like this, it’s not a fair review.
“That’s assuming you’re so famous that everyone wants to know what your personal tastes are. When I read a review that Roger T. Pipe writes and he’s attacking someone and not kissing butt- and you can read some of the reviews that are so over the top glowing and kissing ass- you know something has gone amiss. Some of the best reviews I’ve received in my life, there was no kissing ass. Some people didn’t even like me who gave me Editors Choices. But when Roger T. Pipe is putting down throat gagging which he calls “qwagging” and he talks about a real wood killer, me as a person reading the review, doesn’t want to envision that Roger T. Pipe is jacking off, then got a soft penis.
“I don’t want to envision Roger T. Pipe jacking off,” says Skeeter. “If he’s gay and is talking about a gay movie and jacking off to a gay movie, that makes sense. In that situation everyone wants mens’ penises to be hard. When Roger T. Pipe is reviewing a movie where a girl is getting throat fucked, I don’t need to hear that his dick got hard or that it was a wood killer. Because now I have envisioned this man jacking off in a corner. And his interjection has turned this thing into a gay-thing. It’s hard on me, emotionally, to picture Roger T. Pipe jacking off. It’s not a pretty thought.”
“When he’s throwing in his two cents’ worth that he doesn’t like this or doesn’t like that, does he say that because he believes he’s so important in porn that we’re all hanging on what does Roger T. Pipe personally like and that whatever he personally likes is what our personal taste is?
“I’m not into lovey-dovey lesbian movies where they’re French kissing and using fingers,” Skeeter continues. “But I can still give it a good review if it’s a good movie. I don’t say that was a real wook killer when that girl didn’t put a baseball bat in her ass. We don’t care about me jacking off. Instead, was it shot well, did you see the angles, did you feel that it was pretty? Not what I think was good. So when Roger T. Pipe says well I like this and qwagging is a wood killer, he’s sending out a statement that he’s so powerful that he is so rich, that we all hang on the words of how porn should be done.
“Roger T. Pipe is not fond of Max Hardcore, but Max Hardcore is a pioneer and almost everyone in porn has copied his moves, sexually. Max Hardcore created a thing called stove-piping. Stove-piping was the word before gape. In Max’s mind the girl gaping looked like the inside dark cylinder of a stove pipe. So does that mean that every time there’s a gape in a movie, Roger T. Pipe should say that was stolen straight from a Max Hardcore handbook?
“But Roger T. Pipe is not going to be a bully any more,” Skeeter contends. “If he’s brave enough to call people ‘thieves’ and I’m using the word stealing, he’s calling Otto Bauer stealing. On his review of Triple Threat, Roger T. Pipe said ‘stolen’ which means to steal – straight from a Jules Jordan handbook and he talks about the girls going on a bar stool. I was the cameraman that day and so was Jim Powers, and there was no stealing from Jules Jordan. Otto Bauer does not watch Jules Jordan movies, so once again Roger T. Pipe is wrong. Otto doesn’t watch anybody’s movies. He did not steal from Jules Jordan, Jim Powers or people who used bar stools in the Seventies in porno movies.
“So he’s got to get right,” Skeeter goes on to say. “Roger T. Pipe must get off his fucking ass and quit calling people like Otto Bauer a thief. First off I didn’t know there was a Jules Jordan handbook because everything I’ve seen in his movies I have seen in a Jim Powers movie or a John Stagliano movie.”
While Skeeter acknowledges that Jordan may be one of the tops in the past five years, the Bang Bros. have him beat.
“They’ve made so many tens of millions of dollars, it’s now gotten to the point of impossibility,” says Skeeter. “It’s so ludicrous how much money those two youngsters have made on the Internet. It’s unbelievable. It’s worse than staggering. They are controlling the Internet. They would have their feelings hurt if they only cleared 20 million dollars in one year. They would be like on there way out.
“Second would be the boys up north- Hogtied.com- with all the numerous mansions they own,” adds Skeeter. “They make so much money where selling a DVD is like begging for money. I don’t even want to go there with that ridiculoous drama because the Internet’s the world. But I’m giving Jules Jordan credit for one thing. I’m putting him number three in the past five years as the most finacially successful independent producer/director.
“So what Roger T. Pipe is getting back is a little bit of magic right now,” states Skeeter. “All those years he slammed girls and how he called Otto a jabber jaw, somebody who talks too much. I remember showing Otto some of the things Roger T. Pipe wrote about him and Otto’s, like, fuck this guy, he’s not the one paid to do all the pussy. All this guy does is write articles like everybody thinks he’s the motherfuckin’ shit and they all hang on to see what he thinks. So that motherfucker is putting down double anal- what does he think? We’re all retards? Goddamn, it made good money you fuckin’ retard. We don’t care if you don’t like it. We don’t make these movies for you. You fuckin’ get a life. Get real. This isn’t your world, you get out of pornography. You’re not a part of it. You’re a fuckin’ hang around.”