From eye weekly.com: Gene Simmons, 58, has spent years boasting of how he’s slept with 4,800 women, and took Polaroids of every single one, even though none of them ever seemed to want to admit this in public.
Well, now Polaroid is out of the instant-film business, and someone actually produced video evidence of Simmons in flagrante delicto — and he’s in denial?
“You may have heard or seen garbage that has sprung up from my past,” he posted this morning at GeneSimmons.com. “Rest assured that the proper legal team is looking at all legal ramifications and options. And us? Shannon, [and my children] Nick and Soph are happy and healthy. All is well. And thank you all for the kind words of support.”
The website GenesSecret.com surfaced late Tuesday afternoon — and disappeared by Wednesday morning — with the promise of a black- and-white video of Simmons having a leg-over with “Elsa,” a model for Frank’s Energy Drink: “the drink that offers authentic Austrian energy and keeps you yodeling all night long” with “a number of vitamins and premium ingredients to improve physical performance and mental alertness.”
Just like Red Bull, really, except it’s not.
Frank’s is named for its zillionaire backer, Aurora- based chairman of Magna Entertainment Corp. and MP Belinda’s dad, Frank Stronach.
GenesSecret.com was registered Jan. 6 to one Roberto Rodriguez of the Stormfront Corp., based in Panama — the byline on an Adult Video News “exclusive” article. The possibly invented phone number — which turns up out of service when called — is in the 416 area code. (A reverse phone lookup traces it to one Muhammad Mirza of Scarborough, who’ll probably be aghast if he Googles his name now.)
A one-day trial to watch the video was $9.95. The $29.95 recurring monthly subscription provided access to a plethora of other porn sites. Or, you could just get your fill of the action — complete with Foreigner’s “I Want to Know What Love Is” and other indiscernible EZ Rock staples wafting in the background — on Fleshbot.
Was this a set-up for a forthcoming very special episode of hit “reality” series Gene Simmons Family Jewels? A spokesperson for Stormfront Corp. told a porn reporter at XBIZ that the co-star in the video was the one who brokered the tape, and Simmons was unaware of its existence.
Besides, the model in the video couldn’t have had too high an opinion of Simmons if she refused to kiss him.
“Elsa” might’ve been among the lederhosen-clad spokesmodels who accompanied Simmons on a tour of local 7-Eleven and Mac’s convenience stores around Toronto last November. The visit also included appearances at the Level Nightclub and on 102.1 The Edge, where Frank’s Energy Drink has become a ubiquitous sponsor.
According to the Frank’s website, her favourite Canadian food is maple syrup: “I love to pour it over everything!” The thing she misses most about Austria is the beautiful Edelweiss flowers; also, polka dancing. Her favourite Austrian was Sigmund Freud, because “he really knew what was on a girl’s mind.” And, her idea of a romantic evening is “waltzing in the moonlight on the terrace of a medieval Alpine castle, or renting a movie.”
And it appears that she likes making them, too.
A gig as a frequently pigtailed Frank’s Energy Girl isn’t too hard to apply for — the company website encourages applicants to upload a photo of themselves for consideration to join Gene on the promo circuit.
Frank Stronach wasn’t the first member of his family to use these marketing techniques, though. Two years ago, in an attempt to shame Parliament Hill turncoat Belinda Stronach, blogger Steve Janke dragged out details of brother Andrew Stronach’s now-defunct shetips.com sports betting website — where alleged buxom bimbos provided insights for high-rollers. The non-story was even picked up by Maclean’s right before the 2006 federal election.
Does this mean “Elsa” is going to lose her job for, essentially, doing her job? That is, if the idea was to create the impression that the KISS leader was “cheating” on his live-in partner Shannon Tweed with these corseted vixens, she was the first woman in 35 years of Simmons’ celebrity career to prove his philandering.
Just prior to this GeneSecret.com’s site short online life, Simmons posted an email from a Halifax law student, boasting that everyone in the class felt that his co-habitation agreement would make for a better deal than Paul McCartney recently received, according to Canadian law.
What happens to “Elsa,” then? Her pictures and biography were still on the Frank’s Energy website as of 2pm on Wednesday — she’s listed as the one Ottawa-based entity, alongside seven Toronto-based ambassadors. Maybe she set out to be a rogue Energy Girl from the start?
No luck finding accurate information from the source. A call placed to Dan Fuoco, listed as the contact person for Frank’s Energy Drink orders and billing inquiries, was met with an abrupt hang-up. A true Mike Wallace moment — however, since he’s trying to sell the stuff, who needs the hassle?
Maybe this is a job for publications with better resources? Jim Thomson, who handles the SUNShine Girl feature at the Toronto Sun, checked out the images online and couldn’t make a positive identification.
The third season of Gene Simmons Family Jewels premieres on the A&E on March 11 — locally, it’s become a favourite time-killer on MuchMoreMusic. Promised storylines include finally learning whether those 4,800 women Simmons claims to have bedded occurred before his relationship with Shannon Tweed began in 1983. The question is: will she now settle for 4,799?