PORN VALLEY, CA – Las Vegas Novelties has just announced performer/director, Mike South as their latest industry person to represent with his own toy line. Tim Case and I, impressed by LVNI’s incredible vision by bringing in such a fantastic sex toy representative, have come up with some suggestions for South’s Toy and Accessory line:
*In the Mike South Family Traditions Line, introducing “Sis’s Pussy”
*For those who love BJ toys, introducing “Purdy Mouth”
*Anal fans can enjoy Mike’s hottest-hairy toy, “C’mon Squeal”
*The Mike South new, custom bedding is sure to make your favorite girl Kuuuu [Klux and Klan] with soft material to make love on and custom holes cut into it so when you’re done fucking, you can start burnin’!
*For those of you that want to bring back Southern memories with Uncle Mike, the signature “Mike’s Toolshed” is available. Set it up anywhere and take your cousins inside. What happens behind closed doors, stays behind closed doors.
*Need a pussy that refuses to accept that it’s been defeated? The new “Confederate Cunt” is available with a Confederate Flag tattoo right above the gash. Stick your shotgun inside and shoot.
*For those of you men who love a stanky vagina smell, Mike’s pocket “Gone Fishing Cooch” is the answer. Bury your face in the plastic trout and sniff an actual aroma created from the back of South’s boat.
These and other products are the direction we feel LVNI should take the Mike South Signature Line. If you have suggestions for products, send us an e-mail, we’ll post them.
Steve Lane of LVNI writes:
Dear AdultFYI,
Thank you very much for your suggestions on the upcoming Mike South Series. As we strive to give the end consumer quality products and the products they want, we will take into consideration your comments. Best of luck to you.
Sincerely,
Steve Lane
Director of Operations