Porn Valley- See the Female Performer of the Year in the performance of the year. Actually, you may if Defiance Films shows the behind the scenes of Lauren Phoenix walking off its set Wednesday morning.

Phoenix was doing a scene with Joel Lawrence at the Str-8 Up Studios. Phoenix is playing a street walker and Lawrence is playing a John. So director Vince Voss wanted to add some gritty touches to the scene with the assistance of a smoke machine. Phoenix didn’t like the touches.

“I have to do the whole scene like this?” she’s asking. Voss is saying, yeah, pretty much.

Phoenix said it left the narrow and confined room too dry. Sorta like Phoenix which is in Arizona. And she did have a point. Dandruff was coming off my balls as I was scratching them. So Phoenix decided to take a break and left the room, and Voss already alerted Lawrence that if her resistance was still apparent when she came back, he was going to call the scene, Voss bracing for whatever.

“Call me crazy- I’m just trying to make a movie,” Voss quietly told Lawrence and the crew. When Phoenix returned it was a sure bet that the Mexican standoff wouldn’t have time to invite the Mexicans. So Phoenix tells Voss the smoke’s got to go. When it was apparent that the smoke wasn’t going anywhere, Phoenix walks off the set. Lawrence is telling me in all the years he’s been in the porn business this has never happened to him, personally.

Phoenix had mentioned earlier in the morning that this was her first scene in awhile and that she was nervous. Which, you might think, is like Jose Canseco being afraid of a needle in his ass.

But nervous enough apparently for Phoenix who had a tacit agreement with production manager Keith O’Connor that if she felt uncomfortable, she could call the shot. Phoenix took the option and called the shot.

The movie which is titled Asylum is apt given the circumstances on the surface of things. In a perfect world, Vegas money would have been on Taylor Rain for the drama but Rain was behaving like an angel, albeit an angel with a horse whinny. Rain’s distinctive horse laugh was taking it in the jockey shorts all morning and even Phoenix was saying that she’s unconsciously adopting this Taylorism. Rain’s laughing some more saying that her Caltran-style jump suit is wedging her ass crack and pussy lips. Rain says it feels pretty good, actually.

So Voss is figuring, okay, we’re going to reschedule this scene for tomorrow and move up the one featuring Anthony Hardwood along with Rain and Jasmine Byrne. Do it in a jail cell- Hardwood, a Hungarian, making like a hardass redneck with a badge. Although her abs are almost as rippled as Hardwood’s, Byrne apparently has a thing for snacks, and Voss tells her he knows how to make her cry- by taking the food out of the kitchen.

“Sook my monkey rench,” Hardwood is telling Byrne with an accent that is as muscled as the rest of him. Now this is only the softcore version of the scene, but Hardwood is sweating as though he lost his visa. His abs glisten like a marbled statue in the Vatican, and Voss says he wants to have Hardwood over his house so he can grate parmesan cheese with his stomach.

“I bet you don’t have an ounce of fat on you,” Rain tells Hardwood later on the break, and in walks Scott Fayner who doesn’t have an ounce of muscle. Fayner who only moments before is talking about how he ordered a pizza the night before and passed out on Xanax, is looking at Hardwood who’s naked. Fayner tells Rain there’s a naked muscle man flexing in the room, an observation which is obvious enough for someone in the porn industry. Fayner seems very nervous about a flexing naked muscle man being in proximity.

“I never got over that,” he comments. Whatever this means. Rain is saying something about how she and Fayner spent their wedding night in an emergency ward. Hell, head wounds lasted longer than their marriage. Rain is stroking the the back of Fayner’s head. She comes upon something- apparently the beginning of a dreadlock- and invites Voss for a feel.

“I’d rather touch your vagina after a creampie d.p. than the back of Scott Fayner’s hair,” Voss replies nonchalantly.

Meanwhile, Hardwood takes a seat next to me and when Voss is ready to do the hardcore, Hardwood flexes out the room.

“There was a naked man sitting next to you,” Fayner tells me.

Why, I had hardly noticed.