Porn Valley- Cindy Crawford and her luscious legs are plopped in a Papasan chair. Cindy’s playing with her clit, getting ready for her scene with Lauren Phoenix and Alec Knight in a movie called Kiss My Ass. The last time Phoenix worked with Crawford is like maybe two years ago in Hustler’s Hot Showers 10.

Phoenix is directing this movie for Defiance/Torrid, but Crawford gets her turn with the company maybe as early as next week depending on how her schedule goes. Crawford’s really looking forward to that gig. But for now, Crawford’s focus is on the scene coming up. She’s so into it that she wants Knight sticking his cock in her ass before the camera’s even rolling. Crawford was up like 4:30 Wednesday morning doing a shoot for Wicked then she heads over to Phoenix’s house early in the afternoon for this scene. Crawford, taking a bite out of a Subway sandwich, says she’s a little tired, and I ask Cindy if she’s taking the following day off.

She has a photo shoot, Crawford tells me and then starts explaining how she balances her schedule now so she won’t get shot out. “Too late for that,” Photog Todd Todd tells her. Crawford feigns a punch to the head. Then Scott Fayner shows up. Todd tells Fayner he looks good, that he’s had to have gained at least a pound on his vacation in Nantucket.

There’s a conversation between Fayner and Todd about another former Jill Kelly girl, Tyra. Todd, who supposedly got Tyra her contract gig with JKP, has some interesting stories about her- something about Buffalo wings and a debate about whether a duck is a fish. Todd’s story was to illustrate why he never dated Tyra because Tyra also figured that Buffalo wings come from a Buffalo. But her agent apparently set her straight on that- by telling her Buffalo wings come from a kangaroo. And Tyra seemed quite satisfied with that information. Which is pretty much all the information Todd needed to process regarding a future with Tyra.

As for her future as a director, Phoenix is quite happy with the way Kiss My Ass is going so far. Lauren says she got a great scene the day before between Rita Faltoyano and Randy Spears; and then one with Katja Kassin and Tyler Knight. Phoenix is describing Kassin’s ass like Howard Hughes describing an XF-11.

Like Crawford, Phoenix is wedging herself in a black leather bustier, noting that this baby is probably built more for opera singers with big cans. Tits being the operative word here, Brianna Banks’ name comes into play, and Phoenix says she never imagined Banks to be such a down to earth, cook chick.

But Phoenix is no slouch in that department, herself. We get to talking about drinking, and Phoenix is telling me she spent many a night in college ringing up $100 or more bar tabs because of her penchant for top shelf and wishes she could have been a cheap drunk, instead.

Phoenix is already developing some theories about directing, and you get the impression that transitions aren’t exactly her favorite concept. Although Phoenix says you ought to see the way Jon Strong can transition her into a pile driver. Crawford is laughing her ass off because, during the scene, she can’t get Phoenix’s bustier off.

So Phoenix has to figure how to make the, uh, transition. Which is okay because Crawford’s turn is coming.