Porn Valley- This is that time of the year when the NFL schedule sneaks up on you and starts playing games on Saturday. Three are scheduled for today; and, frankly it’s a wonder after reading all the rap sheets this week that the NFL has a full team to put on the field.
Saturday’s games list Tampa Bay at New England; Kansas City at NY Giants and Denver at Buffalo.
The NFL tends to throw a barrage of quirky statistics at you and here’s a truly insane one. The Pats’ Tom Brady is 19-0 in games 40 degrees or colder. Remember this Christmas season as you’re struggling to pay your heating bills that some goofball in a stat office is being paid big bucks to keep tabs on such crap. However Tampa Bay at 9-4 may not want to add to Brady’s inglorious credos, but the game is in New England and those candy asses from Florida may not have the thermal underwear to challenge Brady and the Pats.
Kansas City has always been a schizo team. They either look great or pathetic and it depends which team shows up in New York. But the Giants seem pretty impervious at home. Meanwhile Denver and Jake Plummer have a playoff berth to nail down and may stand a better chance of winning their game at Buffalo than Kansas City as at New York.
Sunday: San Diego at Indianapolis; Seattle at Tennessee; NY Jets at Miami; Arizona at Houston; Philadelphia at St. Louis; Carolina at New Orleans; San Francisco at Jacksonville; Pittsburgh at Minnesota; Cincinnati at Detroit; Cleveland at Oakland; Dallas at Washington; Atlanta at Chicago
Monday night: Green Bay at Baltimore
The NFL treats us to another wonderful game for Monday night, and if you haven’t had a chance to see King Kong, now’s the time to see it. Brett Fav-ruh has been quarterbacking all year like Naomi Watts, so the prevailing wisdom is that Baltimore, although they suck, has home field advantage. Besides, Brett has a chance of setting a personal career high for most interceptions thrown in a season.
In Sunday’s Pittsburgh-Minnesota game, both teams bring in 8-5 records and, to quote Joe Theisman, one of them will be 8-6 after the game. The Dallas-Washington game will also be one to watch.
Here’s the Adultfy picks along with belated happy birthday greetings this week to Steve Lane.
John Gray [147-61]: Tampa Bay, Giants, Denver, Arizona, Carolina, Miami, St. Louis, Pittsburgh, Indy, Seattle, Jax, Cincy, Oakland, Washington, Atlanta, Baltimore
Sean from Porn Legends [145-63]: New England, Giants, Denver, Arizona, Carolina, Miami, St. Louis, Pittsburgh, Indy, Seattle, Jax, Cincy, Oakland, Washington, Chicago, Baltimore
Steve Seidman [144-64]: New England, Kansas City, Denver, Arizona, Carolina, Miami, Philly, Pittsburgh, Indy, Seattle, Jax, Cincinnati, Oakland, Washington, Chicago, Baltimore
Gene Ross [142-66]: New England; Giants, Denver, Arizona, Carolina, Miami, St. Louis, Pittsburgh, Indy, Seattle, Jacksonville, Cincinnati, Oakland, Washington, Chicago, Baltimore
Harry Weiss [140-68]: New England, Giants, Denver, Houston, Carolina, Miami, St. Louis, Pittsburgh, Indy, Seattle, Jax, Cincy, Cleveland, Washington, Chicago, Baltimore
Ryan from Jerry’s Deli [139-69]: New England, Giants, Denver, Arizona, Carolina, Miami, Philly, Pittsburgh, Colts, Seattle, Jax, Cincy, Cleveland, Dallas, Chicago, Green Bay
Nick from Adult Rental [138-70]: Tampa Bay, Giants, Denver, Arizona, Carolina, Miami, St. Louis, Pittsburgh, Indy, Seattle, Jax, Cincy, Oakland, Dallas, Atlanta, Baltimore
Chris from KSEX [133-75]: Tampa Bay, Giants, Denver, Arizona, Carolina, Miami, St. Louis, Pittsburgh, Injdy, seattle, Jax, Cincy, Cleveland, Dallas, Chicago, Green Bay
Shannon from Adult DVD Empire [129-79]: New England, Giants, Denver, Houston, Carolina, Miami, St. Louis, Pittsburgh, San Diego, Seattle, Jax, Cincinnati, Cleveland, Dallas, Chicago, Green Bay
Bill Margold [128-80]: New England, Giants, Denver, Houston, Carolina, Miami, St. Louis, Pittsburgh, Indy, Seattle, Jax, Detroit, Oakland, Washington, Atlanta, Baltimore
Steve Lane [124-84]: New England, Kansas City, Denver, Arizona, Carolina, Miami, St. Louis, Minnesota, San Diego, Seattle, Jax, Cincy, Oakland, Dallas, Chicago, Green Bay
Billy the Crystal [121-87]: New England, Kansas City, Denver, Houston, Carolina, Miami, St. Louis, Pittsburgh, Indy, Seattle, Jax, Cincinnati, Oakland, Washington, Chicago, Baltimore
Wankus [120-88]: Tampa Bay, Giants, Denver, Arizona, Carolina, Miami, St. Louis, Pittsburgh, Indy, Seattle, Jax, Cincy, Oakland, Dallas, Atlanta, Baltimore
Steve Volponi [119-89]: New England, Kansas City, Denver, Arizona, Carolina, Miami, Philly, Pittsburgh, San Diego, Seattle, Jax, Cincy, Oakland, Dallas, Chicago, Green Bay
Serenity [115-93]: New England, Kansas City, Buffalo, Houston, Carolina, Miami, Philly, Minnesota, Indy, Seattle, San Francisco, Cincy, Oakland, Dallas, Chicago, Green Bay