Porn Valley- After Wankus and Tyler Faith served up some refried beans on the first half hour of The Wanker Show Friday night, p.r. maven Jeff Mullen from All Media Play and Sunny Lane came on as guests. Wankus noted that Mullen is also now a porn producer and director. Wankus took a shot or two about Mullen’s surfer-boy look, and Mullen said something about being dogged on the Internet by a guy who ripped him by calling him Kato Kaelin. But the guy was hiding behind an alias.

Mullen, however, said he grew up in Milwaukee with Kaelin. Wankus said he was personally bitter because he lost out on some TV gig to Kaelin not because Kaelin was better but because it happened around the OJ trial and Kaelin had the name recognition.

“Thank you for the honesty but fuck you,” said Wankus. “Where did the show go? It’s off the air. It never made it anywhere.”

For those who weren’t familiar with Mullen, Wankus explained that Mullen’s also involved with p.r. and sets up promotional parties, hence, he’s well known for that. But the chief reason Mullen was on was to promote Britney Rears 2: I Wanna Get Laid which is now out. Wankus, who appeared in the first Britney Rears movie, said that Rears was the only guest ever at KSEX who went to the bathroom and thought she was in the studio.

“And we love her very much,” he laughed.

“We never said that Britney Rears needs to be the brightest girl in the world,” Mullen added. “She is a sweetheart.” Wankus had heard rumors that Rears was going to stop the series.

“Even she did,” said Mullen, “nobody can stop the Britney Rears-thing. It’s kind of like James Bond. Whatever happens in the future- and I don’t know anything that’s going to happen- it will go on forever. This will go on for the next 200 years.” Wankus said there’s even an equivalent to the Bond character “Jaws” with loads of girls in porn with similar fucked up teeth. Mullen said he had a date with a girl like that once and Wankus asked if he still talked to Jerzey Jaxon. It was also mentioned that Hillary Scott is in the movie and Wankus wondered who worked with her. Also in the cast is Eva Angelina, Jenaeve Jolie and Sunny Lane.

“There’s ten chicks in this movie,” Mullen pointed out noting that some make cameos and that there’s seven sex scenes in the two hour and 12 minutes. “And there’s four hours of total footage on the whole disc.” Co-host Tyler Faith mentioned that Kurt Lockwood’s also in the movie.

“Everyone loves Kurt,” said Mullen. “We actually wanted to bring him in today.” Wankus told Mullen he should have, but Mullen admitted to not having made the phone call. Wankus mentioned that Devinn Lane was in the studio the past week talking about the Lockwood strap-on movie.

“We’re bygones kind of people,” said Wankus. “If he gets over himself, calms down and develops a sense of humor, and wants to show up, he’s certainly welcome.” Mullen went on to mention Bo Kenney who is the owner of Sex Z Pictures. Wankus didn’t know who Kenney was but Mullen said Kenney has a big picture coming out with Lockwood. Lockwood directed and starred in it, Mullen said.

“That was the one we heard took 16 hours a day and a ridiculous five locations a day shoot,” Wankus commented, saying he really wasn’t interested in promoting Lockwood. Wankus then had more questions about the movie and Mullen hinted that he might have known something about the project had he come to the last party. Wankus and Faith noted they wouldn’t attend a party in Lockwood’s honor.

“He’s two different people,” Mullen answered. “He’s Kurt the guy who comes on the set which we all like. We hire him a lot.” Wankus heard that Lockwood was a drama-queen and persnickety about the way he’s shot.

“Not on my set,” Mullen answered. “But when he does have a project, he really jumps into it and sometimes forgets other people are working on it.’ Faith observed that Lockwood thinks it’s all about him.

“It’s about the girl” she stated.

Faith quoted Mark Davis as saying that the young guys in the business don’t realize that it’s their job to make the girls look good and not the other way around.

Mullen also announced that Britney Rears was having a party in May. Mullen said he was debating about renting a mansion for it but might go with renting a huge parking in Hollywood and throwing an outdoor bash second to none. With lighting it, getting permits and decorations, Mullen said it was actually more expensive to rent a parking lot.Wankus then urged Mullen to tell some of his stories about getting laid in the business.

“The ironic thing is that I adore these girls,” said Mullen. Asked if he ever fucked Sunny Lane, Mullen said he and Lane maintain a professional relationship.

“You guys get high together but never fucked yet,” mused Wankus.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Mullen commented, calling Lane a sweetheart of a girl but that he’d like to. Faith was of the opinion that most girls in the business treat sex like a handshake, anyway. Mullen went on to say he thought a lot of the girls in the industry are really great and mentioned that he produces a lot of films as well. Wankus asked if he was touchy-feely on the sets. Between himself and his partner, Mullen said he tends to be and might become the old perverted man at some point.

“The Dick Nasty of porn,” Wankus offered as an example.

“I hope not,” responded Mullen. “He’s cool- he’s alright.” Wankus agreed, stating Dick was a great guy. For Mullen being in the porn business is like working in a chocolate factory, he said.

“How do you not get attracted and want to go out with these girls?” he asked. Mullen told Wankus he had someone special whereas he’s a hunter and gatherer.

“I got to go out there and find my date,” Mullen said. Faith asked him his sign and Mullen said he was a Leo. Wankus then got on the age-issue and stated that Mullen was 57. Mullen said not quite but that he’s older than Wankus who’s 37. Wankus suggested that Mullen took Botox injections.

“You hide it well.”

Mullen said he’s heard those comments from the same Internet asshole he was talking about before.

“The truth is at this age now- there’s one thing I can do that I’m in my Forties that I never could do in high school,” Mullen observed.

“Pay for the check?” asked Wankus. Mullen said more like dating high school girls. Mullen said he had a date with an 18 year-old a couple of weeks ago and that she spent the night at his house.

“You can’t talk to her but it’s a great fuck,” Wankus imagined.

“I didn’t talk to her at all,” Mullen replied, dryly. “She was really a sweet girl and I had to go to work the next morning, get in my office and take care of my business, but it was kind of fun. All my friends that are my age back in Milwaukee or in LA here are, like, I haven’t dated a girl under 35 in years.” Wankus made a point that girls that young age aren’t used to getting fucked that well.

“The good thing about getting over 35, you actually learn some game at this point,” he said. “And you can rock their world like no 21 year-old can do.” Quoting Richard Pryor saying let’s fuck for 20 minutes and go to sleep, Mullen said that’s about where he’s at. On another occasion Mullen talked about how he was chided by some girl because he was glued to the TV set watching the Green Bay Packers. She asked him who he loved more, her or Brett Favre.

“I love you both but in different ways,” Mullen told her. After the break, Wankus talked about the fact that Faith was shooting a scene Saturday. Faith said she was originally scheduled to work with Jenna Presley but wouldn’t do it.”Hell no- that bitch gotta go,” Faith commented. Wankus asked why was that, and Faith said she didn’t like Presley. “She’s like twitty to me.”

Mullen mentioned Conway Twitty and Wankus laughed about him showing his age with that comment. Sunny Lane then came on and Wankus brought up the fact that Lane got her start at Deja Vu Tampa. Faith also mentioned that Lane participated on Team Tyler at the KSEX games. Lane participated in football and the topless potato sack race.

“We kicked ass in that,” said Lane talking about how much fun and the good time she had participating. Lane is also in Britney Rears 2 and Mullen said she did a great job in that as well. It was a fourway that included Kurt Lockwood.

“It was a no-way because it was all about him in the scene,” Wankus commented. Rears was also in the scene and Wankus imagined that Lane was helping her find the room in the studio that it was being shot. The thing about Lane, said Wankus, is that she has the whole girl next door thing going on but is really a freak.

“She will rock your fucking world,” he said. Faith feels Lane could have totally been the character in The Girl Next Door.

“She gets you home and you’re a dead man,” Wankus added. “You cum too quick, you’re really dead. She’ll cut your throat.”

Lane said it was true that she likes to keep it going. Mullen sounded astonished to hear this.

“I thought she WAS the sweet little girl next door.”

Wankus was watching a clip of Lane’s scene and asked if someone in it had a yeast infection based on some white ooze displayed on the monitor. Mullen explained that one of the girls, Naomi Marcella, wasn’t scheduled to fuck.

“She was on the side- she was only going to give a b.j. Next thing you know, she couldn’t take it,” Mullen observed. Wankus asked if the froth was coming from Kurt’s dick.

“The froth is coming from her,” Mullen explained. “She told me afterwards she had never been that turned on. She was really fired up.” Mullen noted that he was the producer of the movie and that Will Ryder’s the director. Wankus said Ryder was a good guy with a bad haircut and challenged Mullen about the froth. Wankus asked Mullen if the thought occurred that someone might take it for a yeast infection.

“We left it on purpose because it was froth-love,” said Mullen. “Seriously, it was unbelievable.” Mullen said Naomi frothed up a storm, even more than what you see in the scene.

“All of a sudden Sunny goes to Britney: come here, Britney,” Mullen continued. “Britney looks at the froth and doesn’t think of it as love juice.” Wankus suspected Rears thought of it as glue for her wig.

“I can’t believe this,” Mullen answered regarding that comment. “All of a sudden, Britney stops the scene in the middle and goes, I can’t do this. That is fucking disgusting and she walked off the set.” Wankus hastened to point out that there’s some real live shit that goes on these sets and that it’s normal. Asked if it was more like gonorrhea, Mullen replied that it wasn’t and would have said so if it were.

“We just Beaver Hunt a couple of weekends ago,” Mullen went on to say. “There was this brand new girl- it was her very first scene.” Mullen said the girl was fucking Jack Venice.

“All of a sudden he stops in the beginning of the fuck and goes, honey, I think you need to douche. She said I don’t douche. He goes that’s disgusting you’ll get a yeast infection. White cream was coming out. All of a sudden she copped to the fact that just before she came to the set her boyfriend fucked her. It was cum.”

Mullen then gave Wankus an all-access pass for the Rears party which is scheduled for May 20. Wankus said the last weekend in May is the only one that Faith will be in town and that she’s also getting her tits re-done.

“These are 11 years-old and like all good breast implants they need a little update,” he said. According to Wankus, Faith was at 450 and wanted to go to 800’s. Faith said she was going to go from being a small D to a double-D.