Porn Valley- For Big Bob at Dane Productions, Muscular Dystrophy has been a cause he’s championed over 20 years. And you could always see him every Labor Day at the Jerry Lewis Telethon, manning the phones as a volunteer. This year Bob, a Rotarian, has been going through a messy divorce. But because his ex-wife’s on the same board, Bob left the organization- a fact which complicated matters. Picture Skeeter Kerkove running into Bridgeete kerkove at Metro.

“I love the luxury items that hard work can afford,” Bob says. “Nice cars, entertainment centers, great clothes, trips- all of the trappings we all work so hard for day in and day out. I’ve been lucky all these things have come my way. As we get close to Labor Day, I think of the Jerry Lewis Labor Day Telethon which I’ve worked for more years than I care to say. I see the families and the children that have been touched by this and I’m not comfortable with myself. It’s a weird feeling. I think of the faces of anguished parents helping their children with every day things we take for granted. The only luxury item they’ve ever wanted was their children to be well.

“Every year I’ve participated in the telethon with my rotary club,” Bob explains. “We worked late Sunday night to early Monday morning and we really wanted to help out. This year because of the divorce I had to resign from Rotary due to the fact that my ex is also a member and I felt uncomfortable.”

Last week MDA called and asked Bob how many people he’d be bringing this year. His normal 20 or so?

“I told them I wasn’t a Rotarian any longer,” says Bob. “But I had to say something to this girl. So I told her I was a member of the Free Speech Coalition and was able to bring people any way. She didn’t know what I was talking about but said she would get back to me. As time went on and researching my comments, I’m sure she decided not to call back. I feel badly because I know I could have gotten the support of a lot of great folks in our industry who would love to give up a few hours on Labor Day weekend to help others who need it.”

Bob figured this was going to be the first time in over two decades, he wouldn’t be participating in the Telethon.He was all but resigned to staying home, calling in his pledge and hoping this was going to be the year of the miracle. Accordingly, Bob remembers several people he worked with in telethons pasts that have passed on but is eternally thankful for the health of his two children.

“I’ll watch Ed McMahon, Norm Crosby and, of course, my inspiration, Jerry, and feel good in the fact that I wanted to participate,” he says. “Next time I put on my expensive plasma screen TV in my entertainment center, I’ll look on the top of it and see the picture of my two healthy kids- the most beautiful luxury items of all.”

Surprisingly, Bob received a call from MDA asking him to bring people.

“So now I’ve got to find people in the industry,” Bob continues, stating that bimbos aren’t exactly what he’s looking for in this role.

“How do I say this? Girls that are normal-looking. Girls that don’t have 45-inch chests and half a brain in their head.”

And as Labor Day custom dictates, in front of every telephone will be put the name of that volunteer’s organization; and the name of the Free Speech Coalition, which has already given permission to use its name, will be featured prominently on the cards.

“And they’ll [the volunteers] be treated like royalty,” adds Bob. “It’s catered by the Olive Garden and it’s a wonderful thing. I’m sure I can get people in the industry to do this for a few hours over Labor Day weekend.”

Anyone interested in participating is asked to call Bob at Dane Productions, 818-349-6600.