Porn Valley- Porno Steve Seidman came back on Dee and The Fatmen Thursday night after serving a month’s suspension for opening his big fat mouth.

Dee asked Seidman how the suspension was. “The first day was real rough considering that I was losing all my pay!” he laughed. By his absence, Seidman noted that Harry Weiss filled in for Layla Jade on Christmas eve and was pretty boring. “You could have used a pick-up.”

“I need money bad,” added Seidman who’s being sued for a $1m by Dennis Hof in a flap where Hof’s claiming that Seidman defamed his character. “Can you imagine me allegedly defaming a pimp? Give me a fuckin’ break.”

But that’s not what got Seidman suspended from KSEX. “Some comments came out that were not necessarily appropriate,” he said.

On the Hof suit, Seidman had this to say: “My last show when Mr. Dennis Hof was here, he accused me of things and I allegedly said things. When I got back from the convention on Monday there was a piece of paper in the mail that said I defamed him. He’s suing me for $1millllllll-ion dollars.”

Making perhaps the most astute observation on the whole framus, Dee said it was “a lot for a whole lot of nothing.” Seidman said there was 13 points to the lawsuit and the first four explained how righteous a person Hof was. “But there were the others where there might have been only one true statement in all of them.” Seidman said it was more like Hof slandering him when he came on the KSEX show that night to rebut. “Allegedly slandering me.”

Weiss figured Hof should be suing for $9.57. “Then he might be able to collect.” Seidman said, after Vegas, that might even prove to be a pile of debt insurmountable. “My expenses went up in Vegas,” he continued. “We had some unforeseen expenses.” None of Seidman’s teams covered the spread and then there was the Binion’s fiasco- a federal raid which cleared out the hotel as well as the casino cage and its money- which made Dee glad that she didn’t get a room at the hotel-casino. “I would have been really pissed off.”

“Those of us in the porn business and everyone else staying at Binion’s became the Binion’s boat people. We were people without a place,” added Weiss. According to Dee, space was at such a premium in Vegas during the AEE convention that rooms at The Venetian were going between $500 t0 $700 a night. On the other hand, Seidman said he got a rate at Binion’s for $25 a night and claims Jim DiGiorgio stiffed Binion’s as it was.

Seidman said there was a mad rush during the Binion’s raid to cash in. “Everybody’s looking at each other and saying ha-ha-ha, what a joke.” When the Feds told everyone this was no joke, Seidman said you couldn’t get near the casino cage. “Food closed, and then they went to the bar. They kicked everybody out.” Seidman said the only way you could get into the casino was showing your room key. “We figured at least they’re going to keep the rooms open. Wrong.”

Weiss said they went on a room hunt in the neighborhood early Saturday morning. “We found some rooms at Main Street Station about two blocks away.” Seidman said they must have been happy as hell that Binion’s closed down. “They had rooms for everybody.” As it was Seidman said he was getting blamed by everybody as if he told the IRS to come in. On the other hand, because Seidman was able to book the number of rooms he did at Binion’s, he got a $200 a day suite out of it. “Everybody’s looking at the room. First one into the room, Harry comes in looking around, ‘What is this? You sold us out, you fuck.’ ” Weiss noted that Seidman had a girl there that he brought in to sign at the convention.

“She’s sitting on the bed in sweats and a t-shirt smoking a cigarette and Steve is just in pants. That was it. There was only one king-size bed and he lays down there on the side like Mr. Sexy. We started laughing.”

Asked how Sean Michaels’ party was, Weiss said it kicked ass. “We only were allowing in basically couples.” Seidman noted that either the drummer or the guitarist for 9-inch Nails wasn’t allowed in, either. According to Weiss, it was Michaels’ feeling that if you were a real VIP, you could get a girl to go with you. “Fuck ’em.”

Dee said Jill Kelly’s party was good. Weiss said he heard that it sucked. “Let them get their own show and they can talk about their parties.” Weiss said most of the parties were open to civilians whereas Michaels’ wasn’t.

Weiss also noted that Jason Sechrest had become quite the prima donna at the convention. “He was signing for militaryguy.com. I allegedly heard from someone else that was there that he required from The Venetian limousine service to the convention. The convention center is actually one big building connected. At one point of the day it was too warm and was affecting his make-up so he had to take a break the whole afternoon. He’s quite the high-maintenance prima donna.” According to Weiss, Sechrest wanted limos everywhere, like he was a big star. “He was probably the most high maintenance bitch at the show.” Weiss also chided Sechrest for his complaining about lack of enough glossies to sign, fearing that they would run out.

Back to the issue of the $1 m, Seidman wondered, at porno girl rates, how long it would take to raise the money. At $900 a scene, it was determined that it would take 1,111 scenes. With the average anal scene being $1200, it would take 833 dicks up the ass or 3,333 cocks for the average blowjob rate.

Weiss also talked about the nightmare involved in getting out of The Venetian garage last Saturday night. “It took me two hours,” he said. “Apparently up top somewhere there was a huge accident.” Seidman said the accident occurred on the 10th floor. “Some moron saw the line- wham, he bucked up, hit two cars.

“The security at The Venetian that when you exit the place and there’s 12,000 cars coming out at once that there could be a little problem with traffic.”

Weiss also let a cat out of the bag claiming that Wankus was a veritable sex machine at the convention. “The girls were lined up like a bakery just waiting to get in his door. It was unbelievable. He’s the biggest stud I’ve ever seen. He was popping that Viagra and shit. He was a super stud.” For his part, Seidman said he was living with two hookers and couldn’t get laid.

Weiss also gave away the bride at the Taylor Rain-Scott Fayner wedding. “Without Wankus organizing the thing it wouldn’t have went off nearly as well as it did. It was a great event.”

Weiss said, by consensus, this year’s AEE show was “the most strangest, fucked-up, weirdest shit going on show there ever was.”