Porn Valley – Stormy, along with her cans, were guests of Quasarman Friday night on KSEX. A headline news item, you might, say, considering that Stormy and Wankus of KSEX, had been at odds over some issues a couple of months ago. But all that appears to be huggy-kissy water under the bridge. Then Quasarman raised some interesting new issues, like Stormy’s actual time in the business- which, if he was correct, qualifies Stormy for a pension more than Best New Starlet status.

The first issue tackled was the matter of Stormy’s squirt board. Stormy said there wasn’t so much a misunderstanding on her part as the fact that she was pissed off about girls coming into KSEX and squirting on her picture. Wankus, who was in the studio, set the table. “Somehow I think I got blamed for talking smack about Stormy on my show when, in fact, I never did,” Wankus said.

Wankus then explained how Katie Morgan went off because on the Space Nuts video, Stormy made a couple of comments about Morgan. “What I said- in fun- is that since you’re mad at Stormy why don’t you make these girls coming in to squirt tonight, why don’t we make the Stormy squirt board so she can be the target. That was it.” Wankus said that by time it got back to Stormy it sounded like he was talking shit about her. “I always get the blame for shit because, usually, I do talk shit about people but at this particular moment I actually said nothing.”

Wankus noted that when he did meet Stormy it was at karaoke, the scene of more than it’s share of fights and cold receptions. Wankus characterized the first time they met as less than a warm one. “I just wanted to set the record straight that I never talked shit about you.” Quasarman also noted that Wankus is a man of honor and proud of his shit-talking. Stormy, however, admitted that she talked shit. But as far as she’s concerned, Stormy said it was a satisfactory explanation. “It was never between me and him.”

As far as squirters are concerned, Quasarman said he shot Cytherea for the first time about two weeks ago. “Let me just say that Canon is now fulfilling its warranty obligations. I never actually had my entire camera doused in a horrifying liquid of unknown origins.”

Quasarman then asked Stormy if she was surprised by her award. “I was very surprised,” she said. “Me and Pat Myne had a bet going. I bet $500 on Jesse Jane. He bet $500 on me. The sucker made me give him $500.” Quasarman talked about her new-found status, and Jonathan Morgan chimed in by saying that and a buck-fifty will get you a cup of coffee.

Quasarman asked Stormy if she thought it impugned AVN’s integrity when he clearly shot her almost three years ago. “You were wearing a cast on your arm at the time. It was with Mark Davis.” Stormy appeared shocked and said that was a year ago. “It was longer than that,” Quasarman begged to retort. “It was clearly longer than that.”

“It was a year and a half,” Stormy countered. Quasarman thought it was much longer than that. “Don’t let me break out check receipts.”

But Stormy swore otherwise. Quasarman noted that Pat Myne was in the lobby. “This is one of a string of husbands you’ve had, am I correct?” Stormy said she’s been married four months. Asked if Myne leaves the cap off the tooth paste or the toilet seat up, Stormy said Myne’s a Virgo. “He’s a neat-freak. When he gets upset he vacuums.”

According to Stormy, Myne proposed to her at 4 am in a strip club. “That would be the proper start to any long term marriage,” Quasarman agreed and wondered, knowing Myne for a long time, if he didn’t get the better of the deal. He, however, wished Stormy and Myne success and extended an open invitation for her to come back on the show after the divorce. “So I can make fun of your new husband.”

Quasarman then went back to the Stormy time frame mentioning that he shot Stormy at the time she had an injury when she fell off a horse. “I fell off my horse Sept 7 of 2002,” she said. Morgan then made reference to some Dawn of the Dead non-healing flesh wound that Stormy had on her arm. “She goes, ‘I know I’m working with you but could we hide this?’ Yeah we can shoot around it by hiding it behind your back.” Stormy said her arm was tucked under a pillow while she was doing doggie, and the incident occurred in Mark Davis’ house where she was bleeding on his couch.

Quasarman said having details like that to work with certainly contributes to his rigidity. “Sometime when I’m having sex at home with my wife, I say, honey, just do me a favor. Cut some part of your body with a razor.”

Someone in the chat room asked Stormy how she enjoyed dancing at the Oasis in Philly last month. “It was cold as hell but the club was cool. I would go back,” she responded. Stormy said she’s also danced in Canada twice, once at the Whiskey A-Go-Go in Toronto. “That club rocks.” On another occasion, she had a bad experience. “I blocked it out- it was horrible.” Outside of not having a microchip planted in her neck, Stormy added, “They locked me in my room at night and I had barbed wire on the windows, and a German Shepherd outside the door.” Quasarman couldn’t see why she didn’t consider that a fringe benefit since a lot of strip club owners generally don’t post a dog outside your door.

Asked if she ever had sex with Morgan, Stormy said it was the worst experience. “I tried- once. I think I’m the only woman in porn to beg Jonathan Morgan to have sex with me and he went, nah.” Morgan also mentioned that Stormy could make her boobs jump. “I always told her if porn doesn’t work out there’s the circus.”

About her performance in Space Nuts, Morgan said, “She’s probably one of the most prepared actresses I ever worked with.” Contrary to what Morgan had just said, Stormy claims she didn’t even read her lines until she got in the car. Quasarman said it was so nice to see someone so dedicated to their craft.

“She was pretty amazing,” Morgan insisted. “There’s not too many girls in the industry that really have good comedic timing.” Putting it delicately, said Quasarman, “There’s a lot of the girls in the industry who are stupid. We’re not specifying who’s stupid just saying that stupidity does exist.”

Along those lines, Quasarman was also compelled to bring up Brooke Lane, and Morgan groaned. “This was a girl that I shot in a feature who assured me, ‘I’m a great actress, etc.’ ” Quasarman said after Lane polished off a magnum of vino, she made her way to the set but could not clearly read, act or do anything. “But this girl was so repugnant as a human that I felt the need to say, You stupid whore! I want you to leave!”

Morgan had a similar experience on Hercules where, needless to say, Lane couldn’t negotiate a sentence. Though she wasn’t there to defend herself, Quasarman felt safe to say that Lane was probably on some hallucinogenic in a Motel 6 somewhere in south Florida with a guy named Bruno who handed her a C-note.

Stormy was asked what prompted her to soil her soul by coming into the business. Stormy said she had already been a feature dancer and magazine model. “I came with my friend Devon Michaels to do a girl-girl scene. My whole motivation by getting into the movies was to raise my dance rate.” Stormy said she was on the set where she met Brad Armstrong who told her he could make her a star. “I never went home.” Quasarman wondered what was Stormy’s compatibility issue with Armstrong that drove her into the arms of Pat Myne.

“Pat just started talking to me- he made me laugh,” she said. “He was so funny. We went out that night. We were both in Vegas. We were both recently dumped, nothing better to do.”

Morgan made some comment about the buffet being closed, let’s get married. “We waited 30 days!” Stormy insisted. Comparing the whole process to a DMV registration, Morgan wanted to know what happened to ‘he swept me off my feet.’ “He waited 30 days- it was like a grace period. It was the cooling-off period.” Quasarman also suggested that maybe Myne was invoking the Lemon Law.

Stormy explained that she had been at the VSDA in Vegas and had a date that night with another guy. “He was a distributor from IVD. He asked me out.” Stormy said Myne came over and told her that the guy was married and that his wife was pregnant. “So I blew off that guy. I found out a month later that Pat made up the whole thing.”

Quasarman suggested that Stormy’s marriage was built on a mountain of lies, alcohol and gambling winnings. “And rough sex,” Stormy added.