Porn Valley- Saturday night Rob Spallone won a KSEX Listeners Choice Award for being the favorite radio guest, which really boils down to luck of the draw and being the funniest guy in the building as circumstances allow. Actually Spallone was the funniest guy in Paladino’s where the awards were held- that is, if you discount the 70 biker guys who showed up earlier in the afternoon.

And had they stayed for the awards, that would have really been funny. Like in A Bronx Tale where Chazz Palminteri and his guys come out with baseball bats, lock the doors in a bar and go, “Now youse CAN’T leave.”

But if you think Spallone was funny, Tyler Faith was working the room like Shecky Green. Even Wankus is shaking his head, laughing, like, what’s got into her. As occasion warranted, Faith seemed to have no problem raising her slinky black dress showing the fact that she’s without any underwear.

Sunset Thomas is hosting the show, and at some point her second banana, Kent Wallace, lifts his shirt, displays a somewhat dubious chest and urges everyone in the house to, likewise, show skin.

“Yeah, give him another drink,” Spallone mutters. Spallone remembers the first time he met Dino Bravo, who’s also at the show, and how they’re at an Italian restaurant in Reseda. Bravo apparently gets picked up by some woman with a weird facelift.

“She takes him back to her boat and dresses him like a pirate,” recalls Spallone who seems to think Dino was a stockbroker before he got into the industry.

Robert Lombard, one of the sponsors www.creativeimagemgmt.com of the KSEX show seems to think Dino was a commodities broker. Lombard’s also saying how he was trying to get a hold of Jimmy D all week about coming to the event, and with numbers out of service, it was like trying to get in touch with Ava Vincent. Jimmy D’s looking at Lombard, like, you can’t be fuckin’ serious.

Later Dino Bravo is telling me this Spallone story, about the time Bravo was working for him and they’re shooing this scene in a garage on Saticoy.

“I’m trying to jerk off on an old broad and some man with a cane is selling me a watch!” says Dino. “Like, can you believe that? You call that professional? This guy’s trying to sell me a watch!” But this is the kind of menagerie-mentality Spallone brings with him. Though Spallone doesn’t need help for the KSEX awards because it has its own built-in audience for that.

I’m asked about this noticeable guy who’s strutting around with a little pomp and swagger. He’s wearing a black double-breasted suit with his hair slicked back. Lombard likes the suit. I point out that this is Perry Karavello who was the object of an elaborate prank waged by Adam Carolla and Jimmy Kimmel several years ago. It wound up as a documentary on the Comedy Channel called Windy City Heat where Carolla and company had Karavello convinced he was doing a for real movie backed by a Japanese financier in which Karavello plays a sports private eye named Stone Fury. Karavello was oblivious to how everybody was fucking with him. But he obliges by taking a snap of me and Cara Lott. Lott apologizes for any ruckus raised when Spallone was supposed to have called her a crack whore in jest on one of his sets, and she took offense.

Spallone, who’s ready to open a talent agency in mid-January, elaborates how he was busted for shooting back in October without a permit and had to cough up a $500 fine. Except the way Spallone got nailed, was, he’s at a restaurant ordering take out lunch for his crew and apparently a couple of detectives overheard him on the cellphone talking about the shoot. They relayed the information to the regular cops who were waiting for Spallone when he got back to the set. Spallone was talking to a couple of sheriffs out in the Paladino’s parking lot about it.

“They said they never would have pulled anything like that,” Spallone comments. Spallone’s opening an office in the same complex where The Stage used to be and had Mike Barbella installing some computers.

“When it comes to computers, Barbella’s a genius,” says Spallone. “Except he cuts these wires and it turns out to be the phone lines.”

Everyone seems to have a story, though Bob from Dane Productions is hoarse and couldn’t spin a yarn if he wanted to. Billy Glyde’s telling me how he was working with Kylie King earlier in the day except that she forgets her ID’s and when she overhears him on the phone calling her a stupid bitch for doing that, she stomps off the set. Mr. Pete’s also in the house and comments about Carmen Hart’s story on KSEX and how he turned down the chance to work with her when asked to sub for Mark Ashley.

“She told me I’m not going to fuck you when the camera isn’t rolling,” says Pete. “Yeah, in essence it IS your job to do that. But I was offended how she came across. I guess I said when I’m not working with you, it hurt her feelings.”

Someone later in the night is trying to tell me that Lori Lust had trouble getting into Paladino’s when she presented, allegedly, a fake ID which cuts years off her actual age. There was also something about Lust not wanting to pay to get into the club. But I don’t catch the whole tune because Bravo’s telling me that story about the guy with the cane trying to sell him the wrist watch.