Michigan- When Justin VanAntwerp wasn’t preaching the gospel, often he would look at images of naked women — to put it mildly. Sometimes five or six times a day.

“I became really good at lying and covering up my tracks,” said the 29-year-old Muskegon man and former pastor of First Baptist Church in Lawton, just south of Paw Paw. “I never once got caught, but on the inside I knew it wasn’t right.

“I held off everybody at arm’s distance so that they would see the Justin I wanted them to see. I would have moments of desperation where I’d just cry out, ‘God, take this away from me.'”

VanAntwerp’s 15-year battle with pornography addiction ultimately cost him his job and his marriage. He resigned his pastor position and came clean with his wife about a year and a half ago.

She left “almost immediately,” he said.

“It wasn’t necessarily even the porn,” he said. “It was the dishonesty — the deception.”

The former pastor now considers it his responsibility to share his story and help others steer clear of the sin that destroyed his life.

Porn is a $70 billion-a-year industry worldwide, about $30 billion in the U.S. And it doesn’t cloak itself from Christians’ sight, either.

Craig Gross, pastor of online anti-porn ministry XXXChurch.com, hears new versions of VanAntwerp’s story all too often. He defines porn as “any sexually explicit writing and/or picture intended to arouse sexual desire.

“I think we’ll continue to see pastors lose jobs and lose marriages,” said the California native, now a Grand Rapids Township resident. “One of the things we always say is that porn will get you to do things you never thought you’d do.”

Gross and co-founder Mike Foster caught national attention when they began frequenting porn conventions and handing out Bibles five years ago. A Web site soon followed.

It’s a venue where those who struggle can learn more about their condition, share their experiences and find help. VanAntwerp’s story is posted on the site.

There is also a free accountability program available for download called X3 Watch.

It functions like spyware by keeping a record of “morally questionable” sites visited and e-mailing it to accountability partners specified by the user.

Gross and partner J.R. Mahon tour the country, and they’ve brought a porn movie star of world renown into the mix.

On the tour, Gross debates Ron Jeremy, an actor featured in more than 1,800 pornographic titles. While they don’t see eye-to-eye on porn, the two have become “friends,” Gross says.

Now stack a traveling breakfast discussion group called “Porn and Pancakes” onto the pastors’ plate, and it becomes clear their crusade against porn is a tireless one. And the local response has been encouraging, Gross said.

Recently, XXXChurch held one such breakfast at Ada Bible Church, which saw a turnout of 550.

“I think whether you agree or disagree with what we do, people are finding out that this is an issue that needs to be talked about,” Gross said.

VanAntwerp has gone to great lengths to fortify himself against the allure of porn. In addition to turning to constant prayer, he has removed Internet access from his home, and is now part of a men’s accountability group through his new church — Freshwater Community in Paw Paw.

“I feel like, over this past year, what I’ve learned is that it’s not just about keeping those things from my eye sight,” VanAntwerp said. “It’s about my own heart condition.”

But despite the silver lining, the dark cloud remains fully intact.

“I’m probably going to mess up again,” he said. “But I’m going to be honest about it.”

Christian Counseling Center, 3355 Eagle Park Dr. NE, suite 106, offers help to those who struggle with all forms of sexual addiction.

Dan Henderson administers one of the men’s groups, and says he sees a “steady stream” of clients coming from both inside and outside the church.

Usually, they’ve already hit bottom, he said.

“There are some individuals who are coming in initially, even before there has been a crisis of some kind,” he said. “But the majority of people come in because there has been some kind of discovery — either by a spouse or work or something.

“Often times at the root of it are our issues with intimacy — not just physical intimacy, but relationship intimacy.”

Clergy referrals are less frequent, but they do occur, he added.

Jeffrey Vandermeer, a student at Calvin Theological Seminary, looks to open the discussion in his own backyard.

He’s launching what he calls the “Josiah Initiative.” His hope is to awaken future church leaders to the dangers of porn as it increasingly permeates mainstream society.

“For leaders in the church, we are all sinful people, and we all struggle with different things,” he said.

“I think an awareness of what is going on is necessary for being open and honest leaders to our churches and to the world.”

Vandermeer’s aim is that the school will host a one-day seminar featuring speakers who specialize in issues related to sexual addiction.

“We need to bring it from something we don’t talk about to laying it all on the table,” he said.

“Our vision is to address the head, heart, and hands to gain freedom from pornography for our church.”