Porn Valley- It just dawned on me. The late night alcohol-fueled rants I used to receive from the late Jim Holliday have now been replaced by Skeeter Kerkove’s.

I spoke to Skeeter Wednesday night. Like a college lecture, we cover many topics. For instance Skeeter’s telling me about the time LAPD contacted Bridgette Kerkove to investigate a black man abduction movie she apparently did for Devil’s Film. [Details in a later post.]

And Skeeter’s also telling me about this girl he shot- Portia Ride- she apparently has scars on her left hand from holding a crack pipe that throws off sparks.

“This is a Gene Ross exclusive!” he’s laughing. “We’re tripping that this hooker has 40 scars on her left hand and not one on her right.”

Skeeter thinks this whole episode is pretty funny, but not as funny as the fact that Joey Wilson still owes him $4,000. How the subject comes about is Skeeter talking about the time when Greg Alves was at Metro and Skeeter shot this double anal movie at the Tuxford House.

“He and Sam Nelson then the acting general manager told me fulfill your dreams- do what you got to do- shoot an all double anal movie [Double Anal Excursion] with a cable version. Five scenes one day including intros. Nobody else in porn can do that but only you can. And sure enough, I did it. Jim Powers, the director of the year, said there’s nobody in porn who could have done it but Skeeter. Only he could have cracked the whip that hard and focused on that level to get five girls to do double anal with ten different guys. Remember- every scene had 38 minutes of cable and the rules of cable then was no showing of pussy lips.

“This was shot all during daylight hours,” Skeeter hastens to remind.

“Because there was cable involved, technically there were ten scenes shot that day before it became dark. That is called time management. That is called a master producer. This piece of shit, scum sucking pig did five double anal scenes in one day including full cable versions.

“That was when Greg Alves was on his way out of Metro,” Skeeter recalls. “Before doing that deal with Greg at Diabolic, that we’re going to start Zero Tolerance. They’re still denying it and I want to know why.”

On the subject of the four grand, Skeeter admits having the money will never change his life, but, like school, it’s becoming the principle of the thing.

“I want my fucking money!” screams Skeeter now exchanging his usually dulcet tones for a sledge hammer.

“Joey Wilson has a greater hairline problem than me- his hair is falling more towards the south than me. But I don’t undertand what’s going on with Greg Alves, owner of Zero Tolerance, 3rd Degree and Black Ice. Why on earth is he allowing Joey Wilson to run his company,3rd Degree, yet allow this poor father of five who is struggling, scrapping for food for that four grand he hasn’t paid? On the other hand Greg Alves, a true king and a prince, did not have a friendly break up with Patrick Collins over at Elegant Angel.

“Joey Wilson has got to pay!” insists Skeeter. “He’s got to pay in honor of Quasarman, in honor of 3rd Degree, in honor of Pat Myne; he’s got to pay for Chris Streams. Joey Wilson, formerly of Pleasure Produtions who Frank Koretsky fired and formerly of Metro who Kenny Guarino fired must pay Skeeter Kerkove the $4,000 that’s owed to him because it’s not a porno business deal. Porno business deals can go bad. But Joey preyed on me like an innocent lamb.

“There I was in my little collar and jingly bells going baaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Baaaaaaaaaa. These were personal loans only. He was preying on me, taking me down. I’m mad at Joey Wilson. This is not a porno loan. This is a personal loan. That cocksucker has a bigger hair loss problem than me. He took advantage of me.

“Joey Wilsoin can put his receding hairline next to mine,” Skeeter continues. “We’re both old, grey and ugly. We both have pot bellies. Joey Wilson and Skeeter Kerkove are both pot bellied pigs. Now is this better than what Kurt Lockwood can give in an interview?

“I am pleading with Greg Alves, the absolute owner and controller of Zero Tolerance, 3rd Degree Films and Black Ice, to pay Skeeter back his chump-ass change. No more ripping me off. Mike Quasar paid me back the money [a $1,000 loan] immediately when he gave the check to Joey Wilson. Joey Wilson left a message on my machine which was very mature of him. But Joey burned lots of people in porn and this is not my opinion. Because I will subpoena people he got personal loans from and did not pay back. I know who they are and they told me. But they’re embarrassed to be on the Internet. They do not want to be written about.

“But I will subpoena them in court when I go after Joey,” Skeeter swears. “Joey Wilson is going to pay me back. I’m calling out to Greg Alves and his racquet ball partner Steve Orenstein of Wicked Pictures. I am calling out Greg from Diabolic. I am calling out everybody to enforce with Joey Wilson, no more excuses about not paying back Skeeter. He did not talk bad about you on the Internet until you burned the loan for two years.”