Porn Valley- I kept hearing about this infamous Tory Lane appearance on KSEX last week and finally got to see it for myself. That was when Lane was invited on the new show, Fuck Soup, and the only thing missing was the donkey show and the mariachis. Because Lane certainly brought the Tequila.

I also heard that at one point, off camera, Lane yelled, “I’m outta here” then promptly walked into a closet thinking it was a door to the outside.

Parker, [pictured] who co-hosts the show along with AVN’s Peter Warren and Jason Sinclair, proved herself an able second banana, as well, in Lane’s salty margarita mix.

Sinclair noted that the show takes its name from the old Marx Bros. comedy “Duck Soup.”

And by the show’s end the only thing missing was the Marx Bros. themselves. Because the crowded studio had, by then, turned into the stateroom scene from another Marx Bros. movie, A Night at the Opera.

Before Lane came on with her new husband Jordan Ash, and several girls from Shy Love’s agency, Warren was talking about Craven Morehead’s recent porn party.

“I’m lucky to be alive,” declared Warren. “I got very, very blitzed. I was very retarded and lost it.”

According to Warren, the party was raising money for St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital.

Reporting on his recent events, Sinclair mentioned that he shot some scenes for Manuel Ferrara that included Jenny Hendrix and Alexis Texas. Warren also mentioned an interview he had with Mitch Spinelli in which Spinelli, head of Acid Rain, has decided to shoot exclusively for the Internet and now has elected to release DVDs as an after thought.

Warren thought that was an interesting indication of where the business was headed.

Warren, several minutes later, showed a clip from a movie that Spinelli’s father Anthony directed – the first one involving amateurs. [Available from www.xxxdeepthroat.com].

Without naming a name, Sinclair also talked about some “psycho bitch” who fucked up a shoot with her attitude, according to him.

“She cried and acted like a total cunt,” continued Sinclair who gave the impression that she was a total cocktease beforehand.

“She shows up sweet and turns into a cunt thirty minutes later- she couldn’t take a dick.”

Parker, who had a real rough time keeping a mike in front of her face to be heard, declared at one point, “I’m a drunken porn whore!”

“My life is fabulous- I’m having fun as shit!” Parker went on to describe Lane as one of her best friends.

“I suck dick for a living what can I say?” commented Lane who is also having fun as shit, from the sounds of it.

Lane attempted to make the distinction between her contract to shoot gonzo for Sin City’s Mayhem line while acting in Sin City’s big features.

“That was Hannah Harper’s old deal,” she said. “Story, before we fuck.”

In any event Lane, declaring herself a gonzo feature star, finally said- when the subtleties she was trying to explain apparently got the better of her- “I’m a super star and bigger than anyone in this building!”

[Needless to say, Lane walked into a closet attempting to exit said building.]
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Lane also talked about how she had taken on Mayhem’s Assploitations line and made it ten times better than the original projects. She then tried to explain sone gonzo-alt project she was involved with that Jim Powers apparently directed. It was fun, but futile to make sense of.

Depending who you talk to, Ash is the uncrowned best male newcomer in the industry. Or Warren at least seemed to be of that opinion. Then there was talk about how Lane was trying to get Ash’s cock sucked for his birthday.

“At least you’re the only one who gets to suck it for free,” Ash told her and then made a comment about Lane being shit-faced on Tequila.

“Don’t be fooled by that coarse, rough exterior,” he laughed.

“When you’re drunk on Tequila demanding to be fucked in the ass, I’ll remind you of this,” Ash also told her.

Sinclair was asking Ash about his personal philosophy and wondered what he brought to the table.

“I wonder about those 50 million guys who don’t get pussy,” replied Ash.

“So every scene I go into, I’m just going to nail the girl out. I’m going to fuck her to the brink of her endurance. I get a chance to hose that girl for all the guys at home.”

When Lane talked about women taking charge in a scene, Ash had his own opinion: “Guys who let women in charge are candy asses.”

“I’m there to put on the show,” Ash continued. “I’m thinking this bitch has no clue what’s coming her way and there’s no one to stop it.”

By taking charge, Lane explained what she meant was, in essence, selling the scene as a performer.

“And if it needs be to take charge…”

“If you need a girl to take charge you’re pathetic,” Ash answered, claiming that Lane doesn’t watch porn anyway.

“Don’t let her kid you.”

Before he came to California, Ash, who performed in Florida, said he did something like 600 scenes just for the Internet.

When several girls from Love’s agency were brought on, Lane had this advice to offer them: “Enjoy what you do. Make it come across like you’re having fun. Rememember, everybody’s watching you!”

“And when you do an $1100 scene, don’t buy a $1300 purse,” Lane also advised. “Save your money because you’re not going to be doing this forever.”

Following her own counsel, Lane laughed about how her tax lady loves her.

When one of Love’s girls mentioned that she went right from high school to porn, Lane asked her,” Your GPA that bad?”