Tujunga, California- The other night on the phone Skeeter Kerkove’s behaving like an Injun on firewater who’s about to be wheeled out of the teepee, strapped down to a gurney.

Whereas, Saturday he’s mellow, focused and sharp as an Apache hunting knife.

The hair, which he’s allowed to grow the past year and a half, is way past the shoulders now. Maybe it’s the imagination, but it appears a couple of shades darker. And with the blue and white head bandana around the forehead screaming Geronimo, Skeeter looks like a regular Tujungan love god.

Skeeter already got wind that a couple of snakes were ready to take him down to Chinatown by calling the cops on him. Skeeter’s lookouts are calling in with reports. No sign of cops, although there’s a claim that a couple of unmarked cars are somewhere in the area.

Basically Skeeter don’t give a shit. He’s had enough cops to his house in the past to start his own precinct.

Besides, he says, the police are tired from all the wild goose chases they’ve been sent on by other whistle blowers.

Skeeter’s back shooting for Sin City’s Mayhem line, although it sounds like a few people don’t want him to. And that’s because it’s all about money, rivalry and the fact that Skeeter bid under in the directorial sweepstakes. Bid under a LOT from what I gather.

Skeeter had some glory days with Mayhem where he was the reigning King of Sodom. And Skeeter might still have been shooting for them had he not got on the wrong side of the throne with Scott Justice who used to be the company’s GM.

“And the highest paid GM in the business,” Skeeter adds, wryly, suggesting that it went beyond mere salary to include invention, artifice and creative bookkeeping. Skeeter explains the simple fact that he was merely trying to get some of his people their money out of Justice. But Justice, apparently, had been dating Shay Sweet, and Shay’s wardrobe and social life were at the top of some absurd list of Justice’s priorities. So Skeeter became the bad guy in the ugly money chasing scenario.

Only weeks ago, after Justice was dismissed, did Skeeter and Sin City owner David Sturman come to an accord. The end result is that Justice is now with Jules Jordan, while Skeeter and Mayhem are back sweet talkin’ one another.

Skeeter’s claiming how, not too long ago, another well known female in the business, Lisa Ann, was supposedly boasting – before the shit hit the fan-how her boyfriend Justice was the most powerful man in the business.

In a moment of profound humility, Skeeter’s saying how grateful he is to Sturman, along with the new company GM Barbara Olson, and Mark Snyder for hearing him out. All of which means that Skeeter will be bringing his unique definition of sodomy back to Mayhem.

Then, as though his kitchen were Vegas and he were David Copperfield, Skeeter produces this two-foot long black horse cock which is scheduled to run the Belmont and Preakness up Audrey Hollander’s ass when she trios up in a few moments with Jenner and husband, Otto Bauer. But this scene is already for the next Mayhem movie.

According to Skeeter, Kelly Wells, for whom these things are a walk in the park, had this same item up her butt Thursday over at Max Hardcore’s house. Which is when Skeeter began shooting his comeback Mayhem feature with the working title, Sodomy Creampies. Asses orgasming and ejaculating white rivulets of love is the theme of that one.

“We’re bringing sexy back to porn,” Skeeter explains, claiming that Wells even said on camera that she takes horse cock up the ass better than Tony Malice. Which you’d probably have to accept her word on.

Otto, for Jenner’s benefit and amusement, sticks his hand down the front of his pants pretending he’s smelling his finger.

“I love you man, you’re so original,” Jenner’s laughing. The bagel issue is brought up, and Jenner insists that he didn’t steal a bunch of them from a Jim Powers shoot at the Van Nuys studio as he had been accused of.

The way I’m hearing this story, drama short of filing a criminal complaint, ensued over the incident. Jenner swears Powers stopped hiring him for that reason. Still, the bagel incident couldn’t have had that many repercussions because Jenner’s scheduled to shoot for Powers the following day in Powers’ next Full Anal Nelson movie.

Another rumor is that Powers is about to announce a deal to shoot exclusively for Naughty America.

Listening to the bagel story, Otto tells Jenner he sympathizes with him and wonders if he’s brought any fresh ones. Which of course is Skeeter’s cue to pitch the fact that his own gonzo shoots are the best stocked when it comes to produce.

Personally, I couldn’t think of a more abundant refrigerator when it comes to all the porno food groups.

“I drink the black man’s beer, and I use the black man’s marinade,” adds Skeeter, producing a jar of Mr. Stubbs which I gather is the gold standard of marinades.

For no reason in particular, Otto’s also suggesting that Jenner buy tits for his girlfriend.

“Eight grand to get good ones,” Jenner’s agreeing.

“Arizona is not a good deal for plastic surgery,” Skeeter’s informing him.

“Ohio is the place now,” Jenner replies.

“I would have loved to have been a plastic surgeon,” Skeeter mutters.

In a bit of his own plastic surgery, Otto’s had his Howard Stern locks trimmed off and says it was just time for a change.

While all this is going on, Hollander’s in the back yard shooting pretty girls with Sir Richard de Montfort, the Black Cloud of Love, so named by Bridgette Kerkove.

“Pop the booty, baby doll,” Sir Richard’s urging Hollander whose porcelain buttocks are lathered in oil.

Otto and Audrey begin a new project, shortly, called Otto and Audrey: No Holds Barred, and Sir Richard feels that Hollander has an old Hollywood movie star quality about her.

And, like an old time movie star, Audrey voices concern whether Skeeter’s going to hurt her rectum in her upcoming anal scene.

“Yeah, pretty much,” he says flippantly.

“Try, try,” she laughs.

Skeeter’s telling this story about how one time he shot Gia Paloma at some Mexican gas station with her wearing nothing but a G-string. Skeeter had her dancing around the pumps and the owner got mad at him.

“They knew she was Mexican and thought I was exploiting her,” says Skeeter. No sooner did Skeeter take off with Paloma that the cops showed.

“That was real guerilla shooting,” he laughs.

Another time, Skeeter shot Dillan Lauren for the Vivid movie Collision Course and had her “smoking sassy,” and ass walking through the Santa Susanna Pass.

A passerby, some huge guy, puffing up his chest, wanted to know if Skeeter was hurting Lauren and was ready to go to war over it.

Upstairs in one of the bedrooms, in a scene that has all the urgency of two paramedics and an epileptic, Hollander, who’s been double-teamed more often than Randy Moss, is yelling out something about wanting her ass stretched more than it has been, already.

“What are you doing, whore?” Otto asks her.

“I’m bringing sexy back to porn!” yells out Hollander with cock in her mouth. “Grrrrgl, grrrrrgl.”

Not only is Audrey bringing sexy back, but, obviously, a sense of class and dignity to go along with it.

“Fuck me! Stretch me!” Hollander yells some more. “This is what sexy is in case you didn’t know! There’s nothing better than two cocks filling my holes! Fuck me up. Fucking, fuck me up! I want everyone to see how great it is to have two fucking dicks in your ass! Double cock my asshole. I want men all over the world to want those fucking holes!”

“Now I know what a horse cock feels like,” continues Hollander as she ass squats to consume bits and pieces of its 24 black inches. This is probably the Event Horizon of anal insertions, the black going so deep up her butt that Hollander practically turns into Sammy Davis Jr.

“The room smells like sodomy, don’t it?” muses Skeeter.