San Diego- Dick Chibbles is campaigning for president as Chibbles the Porn Clown. According to James Bartholet who’s handling the P.R., he’s trying to get Chibbles booked on Jimmy Kimmel, perhaps Jon Stewart.

“Jon Stewart’s people said they may be interested,” comments Bartholet. “He’s [Chibbles] going to wear a suit with the clown face and horns honking. I think it’s a whole mockery and incredible. I think it’s absolutely fucking hilarious.”

I know Chibbles is completely serious about this which is kind of scary. Asked how his seltzer bottle was, Chibbles said it’s shooting a little foamy, but still good.

Chibbles, who first came to prominence with the movie Clown Porn, says he’s running independently. One would imagine.

“Look, we’ve spent the last eight years with one clown why not throw a real clown in there who’s not afraid to show his true colors so to speak,” says Chibbles who also serves as the P.R. guy for Ramco Productions which puts out Clown Porn.

Chibbles has been in the adult industry seven years, most of it part time. Then when Clown Porn came out, it pretty much made his career. Chibbles says to be on the look out for Clown Porn Crime Watch, some of which he previewed this past year on PrimeTimeUncensored.

“We got a distribution deal with Avalon,” Chibbles goes on to say. “And right now we’re writing the screenplay for our new one, the Clown Porn Spaghetti Western called Crackwood.”

Before he became a clown, in his other porn persona Chibbles was known as Hef Pounder.

“A buddy of mine- Patrick from Soft Focus Productions- came up with the Hef Pounder name,” notes Chibbles. “I was in-house talent for him down here in San Diego. He just came up with that name one day. I was working with one of the models and going fucking crazy.”

“But when it came time to do Clown Porn I got hired to do just one scene,” notes Chibbles. “But after I had done that Chris, one of the Ramco owners and director is like, dude, I see you all over this. It was pretty much my calling because I’m a comedian at heart anyway. I was always the class clown, so why not?”

Believe it or don’t, Chibbles, used to own an interior design consultation firm back in New York where he’s from, then became a professional wrestler for five years with the Long Island Wrestling federation and other organizations.

“I went to the Dog House School of Wrestling in Brooklyn,” he explains. “And I was the founding member of Critical Mass which was myself, my tag partner Brim Stone; Loocha Libre Maniac Mike Mayhem, Rex Rockwell, the Sex Executioner and our illustrious Jamaican manager Chavez Raoul. Back then my wrestling name was Chris Hostile because I was also the singer for the band Hostile Intent.”

It’s absolutely astounding that Chibbles would give up a pedigree-spackled resume such as this to go into porn. But that he did.

“Actually it was a childhood dream,” he says with an apparent straight face. “I completed every goal I ever set for myself. When I was young, my uncle took me to Madison Square Garden to see wrestling. And I met Andre the Giant. I shook his hand. This guy was just so monstrous and I said to myself I want to be a wrestler some day. I became a wrestler. My first concert I saw was KISS. Once again, in Madison Square Garden, and I said I’m going to be a singer of a band one day.

“Then when I saw my first magazine- I believe it was Swank- there was a pictorial with a boy-girl scene and I said I want to be that guy some day.”

“Did the same thing happen when you saw your first clown?” Chibbles is asked.

Chibbles says, no, that he never gave a second look to them.

“At least before Clown Porn,” he adds. “As you know, Clown Porn is not a fetish movie. It’s a comedy. It’s basically depicting the ridiculousness of what people actually look like when they’re having sex on film- with a little Monty Python and Benny Hill thrown in there.”

According to Chibbles, there’s an actual bio of Chibbles the Clown which reads to the effect that he graduated from Whatsa Matter U and was a class clown. Then he became a med student and got his Ph.D in neurological surgery.

“Then I gave it all up to go for a drive one night,” he continues. “After a few weeks of traveling with a carnival in southern California where I was the one who would guess your weight, I decided to stay. But after my car broke down the carnies didn’t want to wait for me. Being stranded, what was a clown to do?”

“It was a calling I heard one night- it was my neighbor telling me to put some clothes on while I was standing at the mail box.”

Between the futile attempts at stand up, Chibbles admits that there’s a major culture shock comparing SoCal to New York.

“And I was lucky to meet Chris and Dave at Ramco,” he adds. “They gave me the opportunity to do what I do best.”

At the time it first came out, Clown Porn was being distributed by Arnold Stein’s Old Pueblo which went out of business.

Asked about it, Chibbles said you could put a lot of Ha-Has next to that question.

“All I can say is what comes around goes around,” answers Chibbles vaguely. “It’s karma. If you want to do legitimate business, do legitimate business or else it comes back and bites you.”

Not being the owner of Ramco, Chibbles says there are things he’s not at liberty to say.

“We were a new company and we were told everything we wanted to hear,” states Chibbles. “A vast majority of things did not follow through.”

After which, Chibbles says the company then got hooked up with Gigi at Avalon through Jennifer James.

“We met up with Jennifer at the Dr. Suzie B show and we just started talking. I gave her a copy of the movie and she loved it.”

Having seen the first feature myself I can attest to the fact that Clown Porn is hilarious and one of the freshest concepts to come to porn in a long time.

According to Chibbles, there’s enough material to make at least 20 Clown Porn movies.

“It’s a completely fresh start,” he says. “It’s not your typical gonzo movie. It’s not your full length feature, story-driven film. It’s just poking fun at human beings. I wouldn’t say it’s fun for the whole family…”

“Unless your entire family lives under a circus tent,” I suggest.

“It’s definitely big at all frat parties,” continues Chibbles. “We get e-mails and stuff from different fraternities and sororities across the country all the time saying it’s great. We stumbled on to something that pretty much has never been done. And to this day maybe two different companies have tried to do what we did. You can’t deny the media exposure that movie got. It was unbelievable and all solicited to us. It wasn’t us making all these phone calls and stuff. It came to us which was very amazing.”

Next we talked about Chibbles the Clown’s first squirt. He was 12 years old and down in a basement with an older girl named Cathy.

“And she was not my baby sitter,” he laughs. “She was 16. I met her at USA Roller Rink. We couple-skated and I’d say maybe three weeks to a month after, we were seeing each other and making out. We got together down in her basement. I had no idea what I was doing. When I came, I thought I pee’d on her.”

“Were there chains on the walls of that basement?” I ask Chibbles.

“It wasn’t a dungeon,” he laughs. “We played video games down there. Defender still to this day is my favorite game. Her father owned the video arcade at the mall.”

Which, as I tell Chibbles, is the young boy equivalent of the girls’s old man owning a liquor store.

“Exactly,” he says. “She was actually the first girl that ever went down on me. I said what are you doing? I had no fucking clue. Then one day she hands me this balloon and I asked what is this for?”

“She handed you a balloon and you made a giraffe,” I suggest.

“Then I put the snake in the sack and I thought I pee’d on her,” says Chibbles. “After that, look out, everybody!”

Regarding this presidential run, Chibbles will be the first to tell you he’s not a political person.

“But I am so tired of all the bullshit and all the drama,” he says. “Then you have all these campaign ads bashing each other. These people know way too much about politics and forgot what it is to be an American citizen. Damn, I can’t believe I thought of that!”

“Who gives a shit about all the scandals. Okay, Bill Clinton. He was probably in our lifetime one of the better presidents. He got a blowjob. Big fucking deal. Did that keep us out of a major war? Probably. I think Bush needs to get his head out of Cheney’s ass. I’m sick of the whole thing.”

“At Team Ramco we were sitting around one night writing the script for Crackwood,” Chibble continues. “And we just got talking about politics. Being from New York I’m very passionate about the whole 9/11-thing. I stand right next to Charlie Sheen on that one.”

“Eisenhower said it best: be careful of the military-industrial complex. It was Eisenhower warning America, don’t let America become the next Rome. That’s happened. And all of a sudden after 9/11 the Patriot Act comes out. What the hell is that? 300 pages of Big Brother, basically.”

“If I get elected that’s the first thing I’m going to get kicked straight out of fucking Washington,” states Chibbles.

“Put American people back in charge of the votes. With all this technology we have, why not put the power back into the hands of the people? We don’t need all these senators and lobbyists and bozos in Washington making way too much fucking money getting paid out from major corporations to let their bills go through.

“Personally, if I’m President, the first thing I do is get rid of all these fucking guys. We don’t need ‘em. Put the power of the vote back with the people.”

Perhaps even more than Mary Carey, I’m telling Chibbles, for a clown, he’s making an awful lot of sense with his idea, which basically creates a National Referendum on all legislation.

“These are people who are pretty much taking handouts and side deals to push their shit through,” expounds Chibbles. “I hate to quote Legally Blonde 2. But there’s no reason that American people shouldn’t vote for their own shit and not some corporate puppet sitting in Washington. C-Span needs to set off alarms to wake these fucking guys up.”

As an independent, Chibbles has his paperwork signed and ready to go.

“But there’s so much bureaucratic bullshit,” he says. “But I’ll tell you one thing. I’m not spending one fucking dime on it. Truthfully, why would I go out asking for money? Then I’m going to owe somebody. Look what happened the last eight years.

“As President, one of my first orders is to pass legislation to make it illegal for an executive office official to have any kind of stock affiliations with any corporation that has government contracts. Then watch how fast this war in Iraq ends.”

Chibbles is telling a story related to the film Iraq For Sale.

“One of the gentlemen interviewed is from San Diego,” notes Chibbles.

“I was getting a tow hitch putting on my car. I’m talking to this guy for a good hour. He’s telling me all about this incident where somebody threw a grenade, killed four Marines. They were the guys bodyguarding this Halliburton driver. This guy was one of them and lost a foot. A few months later I’m watching Iraq for Sale and it’s the same guy.

“This guy was giving me inside info like if a truck gets a flat tire, they just blow up the truck and send over a new one. That’s the stuff the American public really needs to know. What you see on the news is what the government wants you to see. There’s a lot of lies, a lot of deceit. It’s very sad what this country has become.”

With all of this being said, I tell, Chibbles re-inventing the famous line from Woodrow Wilson’s vice president Thomas Marshall, that what this country needs is a good five cent clown.

And I think Dick Chibbles may be the one to give it to them.