Miami- Our long time friend in the business “Porno” Steve Seidman celebrates his 60th birthday today, May 7.

From the sounds of it, Seidman, after a few weeks in humid Miami, is ready to make a return to the relatively cooler climes of Porn Valley.

“And you can add a cul de sac or whatever it’s called, that I’m looking for a job,” states Seidman. We think he meant coda.

“This is fucking ridiculous,” he continues. “There was supposed to be a load of shooting down here, and they’re not. It’s very simple.“

Based on some magnificent smoke blown up his ass, Seidman moved to Florida from Houston with the idea that he’d start a talent agency.

“I was told there are 60 to 70 companies shooting down here with plenty of girls wanting to get into the business,” Seidman explains. “I left a very secure position for this.”

“So if anyone’s looking for someone in sales or P.R., I can relocate,” states Seidman whose career began in the business in 1967. That makes him among porn’s longest active vets with the inclusion of Henri Pachard and Jane Waters.

“The modeling agency can work, but they’ve fucked up this market so bad, let other people handle it,” continues Steve.

“You can’t do the girls justice because some of these shooters are scumbags; and they’ve lowered the price so much they’re ruined the market here. It’s just got too fucked up here. Tampa if you can get $600 for a boy-girl shoot you’re doing well. Down here you’ve got a couple of companies that are doing decent shooting – Icy and Bang Bros.; and Scores is very particular right now because they can be.”

Seidman at one time was a male performer and got his start when his college roommate apparently saw his wang in the shower.

“He said my father has a job for you- you can fuck all the women you want and have all the drugs you want, and you get paid,” Seidman recalls.

Seidman won’t say who the roommate was other than the fact his father was shooting loops in New York.

“And they’re part of a family I won’t go into,” Seidman adds for effect.

“But I did Tina Russell, I did Linda Lovelace,” says Seidman.
“We’d get paid $25 a pop.”

“I was a P.A. on the Deep Throat, www.xxxdeepthroat.com set down in Miami,” Seidman continues.

“Matter of fact one of my exes [Seidman’s been married six times] was a dancer. Her name was Fifi Fondue. She was originally from Detroit. Two of those marriages were out in Vegas for business. I don’t even remember getting married I was so fucked up. I’ve lived a colorful life.”

“I’ve read by some accounts that Lovelace had a real stink-crotch,” I mention to Seidman.

“Let me tell you something,” says Seidman. “First of all, it was like fucking the Holland Tunnel. The blowjob was good but not that good. And if Chuck Traynor forced her to do these things I’d be shocked.”

[That’s the way the Lovelace story’s always been told.]

“All I know is that she did a donkey on a set that I was on,” continues Seidman. “This was in New York. They took her out to a fucking farm. You know why in the loops everyone was wearing black socks?”

“Because the floors were filthy,” I answer.

“Exactly,” says Seidman. “Because all the floors of the motels were so fuckin’ dirty.”

It was suggested that Seidman might have a book in him, but the way he talks, most of the names in the stories would have to be redacted.

“Anything I say, I’d have to say in a fictional way because I can’t name names,” he explains.

“The reason I went to prison is because I didn’t talk. But I got some good stories.”

Seidman served four years for drugs, two years Federal, two years state; but as of this past February, he’s 18 years clean.

“I had a major problem,” recalls Seidman. “John Holmes and I used to get high together in Florida.”