2008 AVN award winner for Best Actress, Penny Flame has issued a challenge, “to all you wanna be bitches and pornwhores. I am issuing a challenge. I am challenging you to find a better, badder, bitch than your own Penny Flame.
“I know my competition. In fact, I’ve fucked most of them, the five best (you know I licked you cross-eyed bitch), and god damnit, I prefer to fuck myself all day. And I do. And I’m awesome. So bitches, bring your game face, not that cum covered Vegas lounge lizard face you are planning on packing. If I don’t beat your ass at the pool, at the Miss XBiz competition, I most certainly will in my hotel room after. This is where I will be bringing you all. Ha.”
“I am also bringing my sybian to prove my masturbatory skills, and I dare one of you to ride longer than I, the flamingest masturbating whore of all. In the words of my personal trainer Just Dave and nutritionist Rick Shamless, “be proud of what you are – whores”. If you care to take me up on said challenge, my email is [email protected].
“Not only am I challenging you to the ultimate duel in the Miss XBiz competition, but also I am throwing down the gauntlet to take on me and my awesome ho killing team in the boat races. If you don’t know what that shit is, you don’t deserve to. Ha again.
“My dream team of awesome ho killing and dick slapping homies are Porno “Porno “I’ve been practicing for this moment since 1985” Dan, of Porno Dan, Tim “the Hand” Siner of Video Secrets, Alex “RyuLion cuz I’llslap you in the face if you are bitch” insert last name here, Jerry “I’m not Dean Martin you drunk slut” Lewis, and myself, Penny “I think I’ve fucked everybody at this pool except you…..so….hey….” Flame. That’s right. If you can comprise a better, stronger, drunker team than I have, BRING IT ON!!!!. In fact P to the D, and I are practicing for the contest as we write this!!
Team Flame Spiritual Advisor Airek has this to say, “Penny Flame epitomizes surreal being and carnal enjoyment, this girl knows what life’s all about. She lives for the supreme existence of her inner pot brownie cravings. If you look up primal exuberance in the dictionary you will see a picture of Penny Flame. I think its only fitting that she carries the scepter for an event so enthralled in decadence and debauchery. I am proud to the spiritual advisor for Team Flame,” says Airek.
“Due to the confrontational nature of this press release/challenge, I will not answer my phone until the show. Porno Dan will not answer my phone either. Not only will we refuse to answer my phone, we will also not acknowledge or entertain any counter challenges, because we are obviously the coolest people on earth – and maybe Mars; unless you are a judge, in which case, feel free to call Penny for your complimentary blowjob/cunnylinguist at 867-5309. That’s right, call me, Penny Flame – AKA P. Fliggity aka P. Lame; I am the Xbiz princess of all of your motherfucking dreams.