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Tera Patrick Would Give Sarah Palin Coal for being an “Uptight Cunt”

[sdcitybeat.com] The brass stripper pole was perfectly polished, and the silver-flecked granite shone as a packed house waited in the Dom Pérignon of titty bars, Larry Flynt’s Hustler Club (3334 Midway Drive) for a personal appearance by porn star Tera Patrick. Moments before the show—accompanied by her two Chihuahuas, Chopper and Mr. Big Time, and hus band Evan Seinfeld—Patrick nattered with CityBeat about who’s on her Christmas shit list and what’s the most realistic polymer rendering of her vagina. Read on:

Enrique: What’s the biggest misconception that comes with being an adult-film star?

Patrick: We’re not all sexually abused runaways for one; I’m a married entrepreneur. In a world where women typically are objectified and exploited, I head my own company and call the shots. If anything, I preach empowerment over exploitation.

Enrique: In a crossover move, you’re the latest downloadable character in the Saints Row 2 videogame. What other projects are you working on?

Patrick: I’m releasing two films per month, working on my Mistress Couture lingerie line, writing a book, DJing at TAO Las Vegas and developing my own burlesque show.

Enrique: So, no plans to retire? Wikipedia says you’re hanging up your heels in ’09 and they’re never wrong.

Patrick: Um, yeah, they also say that I’m Jewish and fluent in Hungarian.

Enrique: Your Futurotic Pussy & Ass toy retails for $311.99, yet your Ultimate Love Doll goes for $386.99. How do you explain the price difference?

Patrick: [Laughs] Doesn’t make a lot of sense, right? I’d suggest my new Fleshlight [self-pleasure sleeve] as a good stocking stuffer; it’s so good my husband takes it on the road and says that it’s the next best thing to being there.

Enrique: Have you been naughty or nice?

Patrick: I try to find a good balance, but it’s always more fun to be naughty.

Enrique: Who would you give coal to this year?

Patrick: Sarah Palin, for being an uptight cunt! Anyone who shoots Bambi out of a helicopter shouldn’t be guiding our children.

With those sage words, the sleeve-tattooed vixen took the stage to Marilyn Manson’s “User Friendly” and showered her fans with suggestively worked-over posters, licked DVDs and crotch-caressed glossy 8-by-10s. Tera Patrick in 2012!

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