My, my, my. A snarky opening comment….

[www.pegasusnews.com]- As far as I can tell (and as stated by moderator Robert Wilonsky of the Dallas Observer at the beginning of the proceedings), Tuesday’s (March 17) panel discussion centering around Vivid Entertainment (if you think I’m gonna link to their website, think again) was the first time that the hardcore film industry has been represented at a SXSW conference.

Of the several panel discussions I sat in on this year, the Vivid talk was the most lightly attended – though more people continued to filter in as the show went on, perhaps because there’s a video feed out to the hallway showing what’s going on in the lecture hall. And at least two of the panelists were visually arresting. (At least two.)

It might have been my imagination, but the several dozens of people who did attend – including the panelists (except for our cool-headed friend Wilonsky) – seemed a bit tense. Particularly Steven Hirsch, CEO and founder of Vivid, who seemed particularly trepidatious up there in front of the audience, almost as if he anticipated some sort of burning-at-the-stake occurrence.

Given that the audience was filled with all sorts of folks – young and moderately old, male and female – such a thing – one supposes – might indeed have been in store.

Only it wasn’t.

Any hopes I had of covering a lynching (metaphorical or otherwise) were dashed, as the well-behaved and downright courteous crowd listened attentively as Steve – prompted by Mr. Wilonsky – described how his father got into the porn business when he (Steve) was just a kid. It was a family operation, with Steve and his mom helping to box up and ship 8mm loops to his customers.

Meggan Mallone and Hanna Hilton occupied seats to stage left – and you won’t see me linking to any sites associated with them either. Suffice it to say that they are adult film actresses who are both currently under contract to Vivid. They are, to use the vernacular, “Vivid girls.”

Vivid pioneered the contract actress concept with Ginger Lynn way back in the early ’80s. As Steve explained it, the Vivid girls are contractually obligated to limit their hardcore film work to Vivid projects exclusively. (We later heard, in response to an audience question, that their contracts stipulate a certain number of film performances per year – which, in Meggan’s case, was estimated to be about one per month.)

The conversation took a number of truly surreal turns, such as when Hirsch referred to Hanna as “very special,” and someone asked him why. His response cited her “incredible natural breasts.” (Only in porndom, folks.) Another questioner brought up the proliferation of a certain category of websites, leading Wilonsky to quip: “I never thought I’d be moderating a panel at SXSW in which the term MILF Hunter came up.”

What was particularly disturbing, from the standpoint of keeping a straight face, were a couple of offhand remarks made by Mr. Hirsch in regard to his company’s industry dominance. As I recall, both “get a leg up on it” and “staying on top of things” reared their ugly heads.

Both Meggan and Hanna expressed their interest in obtaining mainstream film roles, which they said was one of the reasons they got into the adult film business to begin with.

Here’s irony for you: Hirsch compared today’s – um – “non-plot-driven” video streams to the 8mm loops of his father’s day, stating that these short snippets seem to be all today’s audience has the attention span for.

To which Wilonsky replied: “Attention span? So that’s what you’re calling it.”

One audience questioner wanted to know if either of the young women felt they were treated differently when people found out what they did for a living. “Yeah, we’re treated better,” said Meggan – while Hanna pointed out that she encountered some nasty reactions when she started nude modeling, but not so much since she went hardcore.

Another questioner wanted to know about health concerns in the industry. Hirsch noted that Vivid was the first outfit to mandate the use of condoms for their actors – which didn’t last long, because their customers really hated it. These days, all actors and actresses are subject to monthly HIV screenings. Hirsch also pointed out that the performers are such a tight-knit unit – and such a closely monitored one (so to speak) – that the incidence of any sort of STD among porn stars is far lower than in the community at large.

Naturally, one guy had to ask how he could break into the industry – not as an actor, but as a director. (Leave it to a SXSW attendee to aspire to greatness.)