Chatsworth, CA – When news of Bernard Madoff’s sweeping financial fraud hit his investors late last year, their lives were no doubt shattered as their fortunes, and dreams were lost virtually overnight. At a time when this one man’s overwhelming greed has undoubtedly made his victims consider jumping off a bridge, one caring and concerned pornographer has stepped in to help improve their spirits. Brandon Iron Productions, in conjunction with JM Productions, has pledged to give a free copy of She’s Half My Age 7, the latest installment of the popular series, to anyone who suffered financial losses in Madoff’s evil Ponzi scheme.
Nothing hurts more than losing the billions of dollars your parents worked their entire lives to leave to you, or the money donated to your ‘not for profit charity’ by other hard working rich people. Brandon Iron understands that it’s enough to drive some people to violent acts of retribution against Madoff (who, under numerous threats, had to wear a bullet-proof vest to his court appearances) and his greedy family members.
“But don’t get mad, get off,” urges the thoughtful pornographer, “And do it the right way, with your hand, to a quality FREE movie!”
In addition to the super rich, the Madoff swindle hurt many of the less fortunate ‘working rich.’ Mortgages have thus been foreclosed, and college funds have been drained. And, while these victims can take comfort in the fact that Madoff has move from a literal big house on Manhattan’s Upper East Side to the figurative ‘Big House’ and is hopefully being sodomized daily, it probably doesn’t fully compensate them for their impending homelessness.
“But, it’s my hope that these poor bastards will at least receive momentary pleasure when they blow their loads to me and my friends fucking young women the same age as their now destitute daughters,” explains Brandon, “And, I guess the twisted irony is now that their trust funds are empty, I’m sure we’ll be dumping our sperm in the mouths of their daughters in future volumes of the She’s Half My Age series. It’s just another example of the cruelty of Madoff’s scheme.”
To receive their free DVD, Madoff’s victims simply must send a copy of a financial statement or letter confirming the swindle, along with their name, age, and address (provided they still have one and are not living under a bridge) via e-mail to [email protected].
“This is a real offer,” explains Brandon, “I know that jacking off to young whores will make these people feel better. I know that fucking them certainly made me feel pretty good.”
Brandon Iron’s She’s Half My Age 7 features the young mouths, assholes, and vaginas of Nicole Ray, Chastity Lynn, Mary Jane, Jenny, Aza Haze, Isis Taylor and Haley. She’s Half My Age 8 hits the streets April 20th and will hopefully star the daughters of Madoff victims. Distributors can order now by contacting JM Productions at (800) 550-3659. Those who are not Madoff victims can acquire Brandon Iron’s DVDs at Jerkoffzone.com on the web!