Miami’s hardest-working MC, Garcia, has never made any bones about the fact that he loves porn. His promo photos are often full of booty-licious, scantily clad women (just look at the background on his MySpace page), and his last album, Life Unscripted, featured a track whose refrain went, “I wanna fuck you like a porno slutttttt….” (It was tongue-in-cheek enough, but still, old-wave feminists beware).

Lucky for him he lives here. For all our high-falutin’ art fairs and international DJ conferences, one of the 305’s biggest exports is Internet smut. If you grew up here, it’s just a matter of time before you hear about somebody you went to high school with showing up in a scene for one of the various Reality Kings or Bangbros sites.

Miami’s just a porny kind of town, and Exxxotica, which starts this Friday, is everybody’s excuse to let their freak flag fly a little higher. So it’s appropriate that Garcia’s hosting Bangbros.com’s Exxxotica celebration party this Thursday at Shake, the party that’s about celebrating all things Miami, bro.

As host, Garcia will probably drop a few rhymes — dude’s allergic to not performing. Other entertainment will come from trying to ogle the adult actresses scheduled to appear (check the flyer), and the very classy weekly Colt 45 quart-chugging contest. Ladies get in free all night, with a free drink to boot, and for everybody there are drink specials from 10 p.m. to midnight.

Thursday, May 7. The Vagabond, 30 NE 14th St., Miami. Doors open at 10 p.m. Ages 21+ with ID. 305-379-0508; thevagabondmiami.com