From http://blogs.creativeloafing.com/- My wife and I are what you might call ‘Porn Connoisseurs,’ and we’ve noticed in our research that it seems you can’t get through an X-rated movie these days without a porn star doing something literally nauseating, like gagging on a cock until she is on the verge of puking. I’m not talking about Ass To Mouth disgusting. I can see the appeal in that. Two things in particular that I’m referring to are actors spitting Major-League-Baseball-style on each others’ sex parts and blowjobs that resemble the sound of a rabid puppy slurping canned dog food.

Maybe I missed the memo, but when the hell did it become sexy to spit on someone you are trying to screw? Call me ignorant or close-minded, but sucking back snot and blowing a loogie on some guy’s junk doesn’t really say ‘I love you’. Maybe I’m getting old, but honestly, this doesn’t quite do it for me. I don’t get it! I mean, wetting your finger before fingering a girl is useful, but acting like her vagina is a spittoon is another thing.

Beyond the mucus lubing, another thing that drives me nuts is how half the female porn stars think a guy needs a BJ that goes so deep it causes her to gag until mascara-tears roll down her cheeks. It sounds like they are about to vomit on the dude’s junk. Nothing says sexy like the smell of digested food and stomach acid! C’mere and give me a kiss!

Am I really that old and out of touch with what’s sexy? I hope at least somebody agrees with me! When did romantic stuff like anal sex and pearl necklaces become so vanilla? Are hot lesbians just not that appealing anymore? What the fuck am I getting at….I don’t know. Anyway….it could be worse! This could be another top 10 list!