Great stuff: Tiger ‘Tempted’ by hoops star Michael Jordan; penis stories; Like Father Like Son

This is better than any stuff Joslyn James has come up with so far…

from www.nypost.com – “The National Enquirer has found out,” she wrote.

“They have no proof,” he replied.

“Church parking lot,” she said.

“Oh, crap,” he responded.

“I need to speak with you,” she said.

“I can’t, I’m at a children’s function right now,” he said.

Lawton said her co-workers hated Tiger because he’d leave them only a 15 percent tip on his AmEx black card.

But he wasn’t cheap when it came to procuring sex, [Michelle] Braun said. She said Tiger paid $15,000 for his first meeting with Ferriolo. The world’s most famous golfer allegedly tried to hide his identity from the model by calling himself “Michael Woods.”

Ferriolo admitted that she had no idea who Woods was until learning his real name and Googling him. That’s when she realized he was “a big icon.”

She said it was clear from their nights of passion that one babe would never be enough for Tiger.

“He was very passionate,” said Ferriolo, now writing a book about her affair with Woods, “Up to Par.”

“He made me fall in love. I couldn’t believe that he would turn out to be such a playboy.”

In fact, the golfer played around so much on his wife that it appeared he eventually had no guilt about cheating, one of his gal pals said.

Jungers said she first slept with Woods in 2005 at his Las Vegas suite. After doing the deed, Jungers said, she asked him, “You’re married, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, how’s your marriage?”

“Good.”

“Where’s she now?”

“In Sweden with her sister.”

But Jungers said Tiger’s cheapness always bugged her.

She recalled how Team Tiger always flew her on discount carrier Southwest Airlines and never in first class.

Jungers remembered telling Woods in 2006, “I feel like we’re at a point in our relationship where you wouldn’t mind helping me. And he said, ‘I can’t.’ ”

Porn star Holly Sampson said she suspects that Tiger hooked up with her because she reminded him of Elin.

Noting that she resembles Nordegren, Sampson added, “I think he likes blondes . . . I’m sure he’d probably die to know that I was telling this.”

Woods’ adviser, Merchant, said a fight over money led to his ouster from Tiger’s inner circle.

In 1996, when a 21-year-old Woods scored a $40 million endorsement deal with Nike, Merchant said he called out Tiger’s dad, Earl, for grabbing $1 million of the deal.

Merchant said he was fired the next morning and Tiger was then surrounded with yes men and corporate enablers.

Meanwhile, Earl Woods, aside from being a money-grubber, also was uncouth, some sources said.

He was once given a “Father of the Year” award from an organization — and showed up at the coat-and-tie affair “in these little hot pants — short shorts — and a golf shirt, and he’s got a big, old vodka gimlet going and a cigarette burning, and he’s sound asleep, just hammered, sh- -faced,” a source told the mag.

The apple didn’t fall far from the tree when it came to cheating, either, the source added.

“Earl always had a cute little assistant. There could always be a potential for harassment,” the source said.

If Woods had listened to better advisers, Tiger wouldn’t be in the mess he’s in now, according to Merchant.

“I loved that boy!” he said. “I watched him grow over the years. I watched him relate to his father. I see all of that destroyed. It never should have happened.”

“This is worse than one of Shakespeare’s tragedies,” Merchant said.

Jordan nearly shared something much more intimate than a golf game with his young pal Woods.

“Matchmaker” Braun said she once dispatched Ferriolo, a Hawaiian Tropic girl, to hook up with Woods at a casino in the Bahamas — and the sexy model almost ended up with the basketball legend. When Ferriolo arrived, the Chicago Bulls legend allegedly spotted the Sicilian hottie and put his best moves on her.

“[Jordan’s] bodyguard goes, ‘Michael wants to meet you,’ ” Ferriolo recalled. “I walked over to him, and he grabbed my hand. I walked away, and he kind of gave chase. He goes, ‘I’m Michael Jordan. I will find you.’

Diner waitress Lawton described to the mag how she first met Tiger and his wife while serving them.

“One of them would read the paper, just very cold,” she said.

“I didn’t see any signs of affection . . . I figured he was in a loveless relationship with his wife.”

Then one morning, “I could feel his eyes on me,” Lawton said.

Soon after he left, she got a call at the eatery.

“Hi, this is Ti,” the caller said.

“Who?” she asked.

“Tiger. A couple of friends and I are going out tonight to the Blue Martini, and I was wondering if you wanted to join us?”

They met up that night and ended up having sex at his house.

She said he purred, “You have a perfect body.”

Lawton said she grabbed his penis. “Wow,” she said. “It was the biggest I’ve ever seen.”

She said the superstar golfer was nonstop with his sexual demands.

One time, they didn’t even make it into his house, she said. As they were entering through the garage, he made a grab for her near one of his golf carts, and they had sex on the spot, she said.

Another time, he insisted on meeting her right before a big golf tourney in 2007.

“He wanted that last piece of booty before he could go to his tournament. To make him shoot better,” she said.

They met in a parking lot. She said she told him she was having her period and asked if they could avoid intercourse.

But Tiger would not be denied, Lawton said. She said they started going at it next to the golfer’s Cadillac SUV.

“He told me to pull my underwear down and pull out my tampon, and we went at it with me pressed up against his Escalade,” she said. “He did it from the back.”

He and Lawton were nearly outed by the National Enquirer, even before last November’s car crash at Woods’ home, which exposed his affairs.

Lawton texted Tiger about her fears that the Enquirer was onto them around 2007, she told Vanity Fair.