Porn Valley- Until Los Toros upped its melon margarita prices by two bucks a pop a couple of weeks ago, theirs was the hottest Happy Hour ticket in the Valley.

Now it looks to be the new KSEX show – www.ksexradio.com – featuring former mortician Guy Capo and porno sex bomb Teagan Presley. And, no, Capo, a director, didn’t use his allotted hour to bury any former business associations, though one might presume he could have.

No, this hour was an extremely entertaining exchange between Capo and Presley who had never even met until moments before mike time. But the two were off and running like an accomplished vaudeville team that had been doing songs, dances and snappy patter for years.

Capo, if you know him, has a tendency to get pretty political and thus spiced his commentary with some Bushisms mentioning that he’d be hammering facts home “until that sonofabitch is unemployed.” Capo also went on to talk about the “KSEX curse.” For those of you who are ongoing readers of Adultfyi the KSEX curse is the fact that porn jocks, co-hos and it seems anyone who enters the KSEX building ultimately wind up under this veil of automobile hoodoo. Just this week, Capo’s wife Karen had a car accident while Capo was meeting with Wankus to solidify details of the show.

On a lighter note, Presley, by way of introduction, offered up some biog, noting that she’s from Houston, Texas originally and started seven months ago in the business just after she had broken up with a boyfriend. Observing that as the ultimate spite fuck, Capo believed there must be a vengeful ambition driving Presley.

“He didn’t think I could be a stripper,” she said. “So when he broke up with me I said, okay, I’m going to do something more than stripping.”

Presley also talked about a scene she did earlier in the day- an anal scene. Presley worked with Tommy Gunn. “A nice-looking guy,” she said. “Girls look for him.” Presley, a sure-fire Best New Starlet candidate, related the fact that she was dressed up as a schoolgirl- probably for the umpteenth time. Presley, 18, admitted that she’s been categorized probably because she looks 12. She mentioned that her birthday’s in two weeks, and Capo at 34 said he could be her father. “It’s creepy.” Astoundingly, Presley said her mother is 35 and has huge implants. Capo suspected that Presley probably looks like her in other ways.

Presley related the fact that she likes rough scenes. “None in my personal life and a lot on set,” she said. TP admits that there’s a guy in her personal life [someone from the business whose name’s under wraps from what I’ve been hearing] but that he hasn’t given her sex in six days. “We’ll see how long that lasts.” Capo saw that as wasted opportunity fueled by a need to jack off to poor quality porn.

Capo mentioned that he’sd working on a line for DVSX, www.dvsx.com, called First Date. “It captures all those nifty little first date moments.” TP was asked to recite some of hers. She was 17 when she first started dating. “I was a goody two-shoes,” laughs TP who said there was no room for guys. TP said her family [not very religious according to her] is very close to her and it was hard trying to hide things from her parents. She says the cats pretty much out of the bag as far as her being a porn star including friends and high school teachers being aware. “They don’t like to talk about it- they’re in denial,” says TP of her family. When Presley was home to visit this past week she’d take calls for work out of ear shot. Presley said she does solo, b-g, g-g and anal. “That’s as far as I go.”

Presly did a scene with Tommy Gunn for Digital Playground Tuesday, noting that she first started doing it with a guy who didn’t have a big dick. “We’d drink a lot basically so when I did anal I’d never feel it. Everything was great.”

Presley said her second scene in porn was an anal with Mr. Marcus and Brian Pumper. Presley said she was still sore from her scene with Gunn, however because she hasn’t been doing it lately. TP was curious about Capo’s first time. Capo said he’s originally from New York but grew up in Ohio. Capo said he was 15 and had six years of stroking under his belt which he was going to put to good use. “I was ambitious; I was motivated and I was clumsy as hell. I fumbled my way through the whole thing. She enjoyed it, I enjoyed it. Then it was like a daily thing. I was an immediate junkie.”

TP was asked about her first contact with hardcore porn. She said when she was in second grade she had an uncle who would get Playboy in the mail. “When he was in the shower I would go in and take his Playboys and look through them.” TP says she has this thing about looking up women’s skirts to find underwear. “I love girls.”

Capo said that seems to be a common thing among porn girls- having a savage, voracious appetite for hot chicks. Likewise, Capo said print was his first exposure to porn and to this day he prefers the medium for jack material. “There’s a certain intimacy you get with print that you don’t when you’re separated by a glass screen and electronic monitor. There’s something very personal about having that person in your hands that I really enjoy.” Capo didn’t know whether that pleasure was embedded from the time Hustler first hit the shelves or not. “It’s a much more intimate scenario.”

Capo said the first porn movie he saw was Debbie Does Dallas. “It’s always the uncle in the family,” he laughed.

Back to the subject of losing her virginity, TP said it happened the end of her junior year. “It was a great experience- it was like a scene out of a movie.” TP noted that the guy she lost her virginity to was sharing the same experience but didn’t like it the way she did. TP said he wasn’t a very sexual person and suspects that he’s turned gay by now. Capo suspected that the guy is probably sitting home stabbing his eye with a pencil. “He can’t believe what it has come to- watching the girl he lost his virginity to- one of the shooting stars in this business.”

With no fear of contradiction, Capo said TP has been skyrocketing since she’s been on the market. Presley said she was keeping her fingers crossed. It was also noted for the umpteenth time Presley’s resemblance to Britney Spears.

“The resemblance is undeniable,” Capo stated. On a political issue, Capo was quick to admit that he discovered the war on porn to be much more intense than he suspected it was when he was a fan. Capo said the government has turned out to be far more conservative than he ever imagined. “There were more restrictions that we had to work with than I first thought.”

Presley said her experience has been pretty much the same. “It’s shocked the pants off of me,” she stated. By the same token, Presley said the industry is far more professional that what she imagined.

Asked if she’s had to do anything in the extreme, Presley said she doesn’t like the idea of multiple guys. “It makes me feel wrong. And I don’t think I could ever be a gangbang girl, either. It’s not my type of style.” Presley other girls might b able to do it, she can’t. She also hates pop shots. “I know it’s a part of it so I deal with it but I would much rather swallow than have a facial.” With that comment you almost thought Capo had shit his pants with ecstasy. “Man, you saved the day on that one!”

Presley said she hates things all over her face. “We can work with that,” Capo laughed. “I’m in love! You can handle a good swallow you just don’t want it in the massive quantities.”

“I don’t want it up my nose, in my ear and in my eye,” TP stipulated. “I’m the princess.”

Capo, quoting right wing Christian conservative screed, said porn instigates sexual deviance and erodes the fabric of America. “It’s outright dangerous to women and children.” Yet, said Capo, many studies have shown that despite the fact that sexually material was on the rise, there was a decline in sex crimes over a 20 year period between 1975 to 1995. “Perhaps it shows that people fantasize more than they actually play things out in reality. I think we [the porn industry] contribute heavily to make sure that outlet is available for people.”

TP agreed that sex crimes are an act of anger not love. It was also Capo’s opinion, on the issue of rape, that the average porn fan was spending more time wiping splooge off his belly then generating the energy to go out and rape someone. “That’s way too ambitious. Instant gratification is what this day and age is all about.”

Capo said critics of porn don’t see the average fan half asleep on the toilet with a sticky Hustler in his hand. “They don’t see that guy.”