Having developed an unnatural attraction for the canceled Friday Night Lights TV show, it was a toss-up as to who would be the next AdultCyberMart, www.adultcybermart.com celebrity babe of the week- Minka Kelly or Adrianne Palicki. No brainer, it’s Palicki.

Since it’s a well known fact that Minka Kelly dates Bronx Bombing shortstop Derek Jeter, and since Jeter knows guys who swing baseball bats, and should there be some smartass Minka remark taken entirely out of context, do the math.

Thus, Minka [who the fuck names their kid Minka, anyway, unless they wear fur coats and are Eskimos?] must wait her turn. At least not until Jeter turns into an old gimp with knees like marmalade, embraces primary degenerative dementia, and thus is dumped by Minka for someone of clout in the Boston Red Sox organization who’s not incontinent. That’s playing it safe, we feel.

Besides, the suspicion is that Kelly with her dimples is a certified goody two-shoes. Whereas La Palicki lends the vibe of a been-there, done-it gal who’s sexually aware of men of Mexican extraction.

The fact that in Friday Night Lights Adrianne plays Tyra, the Applebee’s waitress and misunderstood town whore who’d bang anyone for a room-temperature six pack of Schlitz, pretty much makes our case.

At an Alpine 5’11” lovely Adrianne’s obviously at the other end of the Coco Austin www.adultcybermart.com/CBOWCocoAustin.html female fireplug spectrum. While we don’t know the exact size of Adrianne’s feet, we imagine that, in proportion, it would take some time and effort removing her shoes for sexually oriented tickle games involving her arches.

Adrianne hails from Toledo, Ohio, hometown of Jamie “Klinger” Farr, a Lebanese man who played a very ugly tranny for years on the old MASH TV show. Are we suggesting something here just to be snarky? Anyone who’s read our tributes in the past, knows that’s totally preposterous.

Presenting a balanced view in this discussion is our main concern, and so you have Katie Holmes, Mrs. Tom Cruise, who also hails from Toledo. With that put on the table, are we now somehow implying that Adrianne wrestles male Scientologists in the nude under assumed names? C’mon. Get serious.

And now that we know that Adrianne is also into comic books and cartoonism, we suspect that no seduction of her would be complete without a first edition mint set of Batman.

Among the fun facts in Adrianne’s somewhat limited resume is her being named runner-up for homecoming queen at Whitmer High School. Had Adrianne, a track star, begun posing nude for her classmates instead of hurdling them, the outcome might have been way different.

While Friday Night Lights seems to be Adrianne’s claim to fame, her road to success has been paved with the expected number of potholes and career cul de sacs.

She appeared in the Warner Brothers Channel pilot, Aquaman, but that project was canceled. In 2010, Palicki joined the FOX television drama Lone Star, but that was also canceled after two episodes.

Palicki also appeared as Judy Robinson in John Woo’s pilot, The Robinsons: Lost in Space, but no one was buying. Is a sad pattern of mis-embraced cartoonism emerging?

Then, again, in news that was hardly startling, NBC announced in February of this year that Adrianne would be playing Wonder Woman in a David E. Kelley adaptation. Knowing that Kelly’s a prolific scripster who specializes mostly in legal fare, our inside sources tell us that Adrianne’s Wonder Woman will be seen a lot in business suits, objecting strenuously and filing briefs.

Realizing that her career was falling into the predictable Nietzschean abyss, Adrianne does a career 180 to play porn star Holly Rocket in a film titled Elektra Luxx. Not to be confused with the vacuum cleaner of a similar name, advance word is that the movie sucks but for the presence of Adrianne.