Sometimes you’re kissed by the bright shining star of celebrity, and fame is inevitable. Sometimes celebrity hits you in the face like a flying custard pie in a Three Stooges movie.

It was custard pies and Curly Howard this week for Carolina [or Caroline] Schwitzky.

If Schwitzky’s sad tale of big beauty titles and opportunities gone into the dumpster because of discovered nudie pix, videos or adult industry connections seems familiar, ask Carrie Prejean a former Miss California.

Carrie can relate. Then again Carrie also married some NFL second string quarterback named Kyle Boller. [The envy of anyone who’s got him on their team in a football fantasy league to be sure.] So no one gives two shits about her any more.

But here at www.adultcybermart.com we give more than two shits about La Schwitzky. A quick recap of events for those who may have been under the influence of drugs and alcohol this week:

A 5’3″ Floridian with a Jewish American Princess tan to prove it, Carolina held the coveted Miss Weston USA title. We know. Some girls would have stopped right there, rested on their laurels, felt their lives entirely complete and gone on to meaningful occupations as lap dancers or escorts.

Not Carolina who had other thoughts in mind. The next stop on her career train set would have been Miss Florida, perhaps Miss USA and finally Miss Universe. Then and only then, maybe a Miss Nude pageant.

Cynics would suggest this alone is another of life’s ironic cul de sacs because no one, even with a gun to their heads, can name a former Miss USA or Miss Universe. Ah, but we say differently.

Because who can forget when famed black recording star Chubby Checker married the very white Dutch-born Catharina Lodders, a Miss World even though Chubby later managed to father a daughter by another woman, a professional ladies basketball star. But such are the randy ways of Negro men inclined to wearing tight pants even in old age.

Back to the subject at hand. At age 18, Carolina posed for peek-a-boo photos. Whose daughter hasn’t we ask? But Carolina was singled out because she entered a Miss Exxxotica contest at a porn convention.

Bear in mind, these guys are advertising on every bus stop bench in Volusia County except Adult CyberMart, though such trivial matters don’t enter into the objectivity of our report.

Nonetheless, Carolina’s exposure, so to speak, may have won her $2,000 but with it came the porno kiss of death play-at-home game as the second prize. Other women can so relate.

Teacher Tericka Dye is being fricasseed this week for some indiscreet, take-it-up-the-ass movies she did for John T. Bone back when her butt was less old lady-ish. Then there was the tender-looking biology teacher Tiffany Shepherd who wound up on Maury Povich because of her bikini and alleged topless behavior on a charter boat.

And who can forget the ineffable Crystal Gunns, a pretty woman with very big tits who stood out, for obvious reasons, in the faculty crowd at an elementary school in Vineland New Jersey and was, thus, singled out as a former Score magazine graduate.

For similar behavior, Schwitzky, according to the press, was “de-crowned” for immorality and may soon join Charlie Sheen’s wandering band of goddess minstrels. But this we don’t know.

“She’s beautiful, she’s outgoing. She can win Miss Florida. She can go up to Miss USA and Miss Universe,” declared Charlie Diaz, Schwitzky’s agent, suggesting possible foul play and leaks to the press from the competition.

For her part, Schwitzky said she wasn’t perfect and that she should be forgiven a youthful faux pas which produced several thousand compromising 8 by 10 glossies and reams of shameless self-promotion to go along with them on the Internet.

“I think we all deserve a second chance,” Schwitzky would go on to say.

It is her compelling and tear-jerking story that makes Carolina our new Celebrity Babe of the Week.