Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t Thursday St. Patty’s Day? Police departments celebrate it as Sobriety Checkpoint Day, in Chicago and Boston it’s a national holiday, but the meaning is one and the same. Liquor stores and bars do a booming business as do any cleaning products related to regurgitation.

For this is the one day that touches the inner drunk and prompts lyrical, Bing Crosby-type memories of the Emerald Isle in us all. Even among Ukranians and Communists with heavy five o’clock shadow. Because on this day, everyone’s an Irishman.

Irish broads always look good, but on St. Patty’s Day they look even better. I’ve never had anal sex with a big assed strawberry blonde Irish woman on March 17th, and I doubt whether I’ll ever get my chance at this stage of the game.

Being that the sworn duty of inebriates is to party, it’s with that sense of obligatory festivity I ask one simple question. What the hell is the adult business doing protesting .XXX domains?

Of all days in the Christian calendar, the adult business chooses National Alkies Federation Day to be in San Francisco matching wits with Stuart Lawley [pictured]. Is this a strange quirk of scheduling fate that made no other day possible, or, have we as an industry gone mad and lost sight of our priorities?

Check into any hotel suite in Vegas during AEE. You’d think empty beer bottles were the new standard décor replacing the Velvet Elvis. To paraphrase Lee Marvin in The Dirty Dozen, as a unit, I’d match the adult industry against any drinking force alive.

to be continued at www.adultcybermart.com