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Your Kids’ Teacher May be a Stripper, a Porn Star, Or, Worse Yet, and Average Housewife

We don’t know about the rest of you, but the teachers we had in school had faces capable of stopping the earth’s rotational axis.

Today’s kids, on the other hand, have it pretty good. Their teachers look like strippers, behave like nymphomaniacs and the words, “see me after class” ring through the hallways like Beethoven’s Ode to Joy.

When the case of Mary Kay Letourneau of Des Moines, Washington first emerged, parents, prudes, school boards, churches, the Marine Corps, just about anyone involved with raising and instructing kids, were up in arms.

Letourneau, you may recall, did a prison stretch after having an affair with a sixth-grade student. Letourneau was imprisoned from 1997 to 2004 for having sexual intercourse with 13-year-old Vili Fualaau. If that wasn’t deviant enough, May Kay gave birth to two of Fualaau’s children while incarcerated. And, after her release from prison in 2004, Letourneau went and married Fualaau, taking his name: Mary Kay Letourneau Fuaaau. What the hell was she thinking?

No matter that society thought this was some aberrant, disgusting example of teacher-pupil relations, the Letourneau story began setting the tone for the next century.

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