Porn Valley- What’s that variation on a joke? I went to a fist fight and Porn Star Karaoke broke out? With PSK’s second season about to begin tonight, it might be a good time to give you a recap of what when on last Tuesday as soon as the loose hockey sticks, goalie masks and Zamboni machines clear the ice.
On the non-physical confrontational level there was the big scoop that I received about Evil Angel’s John Stagliano doing a dance review version of his award-winning movie Fashionista’s. Except my big scoop told me that Stagliano’s review was going to be staged at the Aladdin Hotel late in August. Which you would have to admit is a nice scoop if not for the fact that AVN several days later claimed they got an “exclusive” to say that Stagliano’s show is set for the Desert Passage Shopping Center. Frankly, if I was in the scoop giving out business I’d be far happier with the Aladdin Hotel spin because the word shopping center connotes being wedged somewhere between an El Pollo Loco and a chain of Steve Wynn Dry Cleaning and Slot Machine emporiums. Nevertheless, I kind of held off on my scoop.
Then on Thursday, Harry Weiss on KSEX’s, www.ksexradio.com, Dee & The Fatmen essentially reported that some of the female clientele at PSK needed bigger turnstyles to wedge through than what you see at Disneyland. I was dying to say it, but I let Harry do it.
Having positively no room to talk on his behalf, Weiss, reporting on his show, said he got to Sardos early and thought there was a 4-H fair going on. “There were a lot of big, big women,” said Weiss claiming that a few may have outsized him. “The night started out ugly but got prettier as it went I hear. I thought it was Pound Star Karaoke. They were grazing. They were coming in with a brand on the side. They must have started those Filmco Fat Cheaper by the Pound or Fat Girls Go Wild, whatever,” Weiss reported. “They were big. Huge.”
But not as huge as the story involving the Dago Bomber aka Brian aka Plus One. Weiss said he heard there was another altercation with The Bomber allegedly decking someone. Acknowledging the fact that he wasn’t there to see it, Weiss reported that he heard someone got in the Bomber’s face and that was pretty much all she wrote.
“He took care of business.” That’s when KSEX intern Powder stepped in to offer some insight. According to Powder, it wasn’t Plus One’s fault. “Some guy, I guess, had been drinking too much,” said Powder. “He got in Plus One’s face. He kind of grabbed him by the shirt. Plus One did the smart thing. Instead of punching the guy, he called security on the guy. There were no punches thrown. Security dragged the guy out. The guy kept talking smack while Plus One was outside. He handled himself very well. He didn’t overeact. He didn’t punch anybody. He actually did things the right way.”
On the other hand, Wankus two nights, earlier had a much different take reporting that the Bomber actually got into a fist fight. Wankus was quick to point out, however, that he thought the Bomber was the coolest and thought the world of both him and Cytherea.
Recapping the story, Wankus said he was outside having a cigarette with Seymour, the owner of the club. “All of a sudden. eight bouncers come out with some guy,” said Wankus. “They’re holding him in a bouncer kind of grip. They throw him out the door. You know how bouncers- when they intercede on something- it’s beautiful to watch. It’s like synchronized testosterone.” Wankus said the standing joke assumed that the Bomber was in the middle of it. “He always gets in fights. Well, he follows out and his shirt’s all ripped, and he’s saying, ‘yep I was in the middle of that one again.’ “
Wankus said he’s used to seeing anyone messing with the Bomber winding up on the ground, bleeding. “But this guy wasn’t. He [the Bomber] said I was walking out of the bathroom and this guy grabbed my shirt and pulled it. I looked at the bouncer and said can you do something about this? They all swarmed him and threw him out. That sounds like an almost acceptable story.”
As the night progressed, Wankus got differing accounts. He reported that people came up to him and said did you see the Bomber hit that guy on the back of the head? “What happened was this guy was walking out the bathroom and I guess there is some bad blood because Brian fucked his ex-wife or some shit. It’s all a drama-thing. But as the guy comes walking by, Brian went POP and popped him in the back of the head. So of course the guy’s turning around freaking out. That’s when the bouncers grabbed him and took him out. There’s always two sides to this fucking shit.”
Just moments after that, according to Wankus, the Sardos parking lot was the scene of yet another altercation. “There’s two guys standing toe-to-toe,” he said. “They’re in that whole we’re about to fight zone. You don’t know what they’re saying but you can see the body language. And they got this whole fuck-you, fuck-you. We’re looking and there’s a cop sitting parked in the parking lot. Lights are off but he’s just siting there wwatching. We’re all laughing- these stupid motherfuckers. Go ahead throw a punch and it’s going to be on.” Wankus said moments away from punches being thrown, the cop gets a vibe, pulls up and does the thing with the riot horn. Wankus under normal sets of circumstances most people would have the good sense to shake hands and walk out. Not these two guys.
“Bam, he still pops the guy. Are you stupid? I wish had I had the video going. The cop gets out of the car and throws him to the ground Rodney King style. The guy’s all tied up like an octopus.” Wankus suspected these guys were customers and not porn people. “But this was so stupid you dumb fucking cocksuckers.”