When you’re just breaking into any business you pay your dues.
In the adult industry, you do store signings in Chino, California or maybe you make guest appearances on the Howard Stern Show to play The Mexican Delivery Game with guys named Raul, Louis and Hector.
Kagney Linn Karter has done both, although the Mexican guys on the Stern show astoundingly preferred money rather than feel up a naked Kagney Linn and Tory Lane. You’d think they would have at least been attracted to Kagney’s shiny teeth. Goes to show. They’ll choose the live chickens and abandoned trucks every time.
Born March 28th that makes Kagney an Aries. Almost rapacious when it comes to money, Rams, if they’re not busy prospecting for a new gold mine, are known to spend rainy Saturday afternoons alone in attics counting coin or counting the hours until the banks open on Monday.
In between, they have wild sex; and because Kagney Linn comes from a family that has wild times in their resume [this is what she says], you pretty much know what she did in Joplin, Missouri where she hails from.
Because Stern learned that her father was in jail for armed robbery, possibly on a three-strike count, [Kagney wasn’t sure if it was three balls and two strikes] we suspect she may have spent some of her free time baking pies with automatic weapons in them in the event of a jail break.
But that’s only a wild guess. On the Stern show, Kagney Linn also pee’d herself [true story] when she took a ride on the Sybian and made an official announcement about doing so. You probably read about that in Time Magazine.
In another interview, according to Kagney, which is actually her real first name, dad was thinking of the actor Jimmy Cagney when he named her. So that comment about the automatic weapons might not be too far off the mark.
Karter, who will be the hostess at the upcoming Halloween Bash October 29th, plays Ellie Mae in the Beverly Hillbillies XXX Porn Parody. God knows who she’ll be at the Halloween party.
“I hear you sucked cock to get this role,” Wyll Ryder tells her in a BTS interview.
“You’re the one who cast me!”laughs Karter. Actually the real story was quite different.
According to Ryder, Karter’s schedule didn’t match their shooting days.
“I missed the initial castings for the part and came at the last minute,” Karter explains.
“Just like Married with Children. It happened the same way. I drove all the way down to your studios in Hollywood. Bud Lee was like, ’she’s been running errands all day.’ With the Ellie Mae part I didn’t make it to the first official reading.”
Would events have turned out differently had not Karter been recipient of both the AVN and XBiz Best New Starlet awards? At least she doesn’t have to play Mexican Delivery Games any more.
“We knew we wanted to work with you again,” states Ryder.
“I got together with Scott [David]. Scott said we’ll move the schedule around and we ended up moving it around to fit your schedule, which is very rare. But I knew when you played the part it was great. I think you’re the perfect Ellie Mae Clampett.”
Fact is, Karter’s leap into the Ellie Mae character was as facile as the twist of a pigtail. The resemblance is that astounding. The other fact that Karter hails from the same neck of the woods as the mythical Clampetts, is pure coincidence.
“What you did in this movie was turn the accent up a little,” Ryder observes.
“I did because if you watch the original episodes from back in the day, everyone talked that way.The woman that played Ellie Mae [Donna Douglas], I studied her. She brought it up a little with that classic Hollywood-thing.”
Karter was a contract girl with Zero Tolerance for awhile.
“But now you’re a free agent,” Ryder pointed out.
“What do you like better, being a contract girl or a free agent able to do whatever movie you wanted to do?”
While Karter enjoys free agency, she told Ryder, “If you wanted to contract me for a few movies I would consider it.”
“I’d like to contract you for a weekend,” Ryder replied. “Is that possible?”
“We’re talking big money, here, baby,” Karter laughs. “We’re talking movies. Take it up a notch.”
“I was going to take you on a vacation to Long Beach,” parried Ryder, offering an inducement of a lifetime.
“Yeah, and I was thinking about giving you a free contract, too,” Karter answered, admitting she wouldn’t be able to do projects like these if she weren’t a free agent.
“I enjoy acting,” she continued.
“Anyone who knows me knows I moved to California initially to pursue some type of mainstream career…and ended up being a porn star.”
Karter claims she never gave porn a thought when she left Joplin.
“I honestly didn’t.”
She’s been in California for six years, but Karter admits her mainstream career was sidetracked when she got caught up in dancing.
“It was the fast money- we’re talking about stripping. Now I feature dance.”
Karter saved up enough money that way to buy herself a luxury set of boobs. Unlike some of the used colostomy bags you see passing themselves off as breasts, Karter’s were sculpted by a Beverly Hills Michelangelo.
Her break out role was Married with Children XXX in which she plays the Kelly Bundy character.
What sets apart such shoots from others is the way Karter sums it up:
“It’s very professional; there’s integrity and initiative that goes into. You’re actually performing a character and following a script. So it’s a little bit different than that average gonzo-shit. It’s a little bit better.”