Here’s a nice press release on AVN:

“Karla Lane is Ready for AEE and AVN Awards.”

We should talk about this because I recently got a tweet from her. Karla Lane is a BBW and she is nominated for an AVN award for BBW Performer of the Year. It’s a brand new category.

We’ve talked about this in great detail. Karla Lane will be appearing at AEE and is one of the co-hosts of Porn Star Bingo. She will be there to meet all of her fans and friends alike.

So I guess she hit me on Twitter. Tom Byron told me about it. As you know, he runs The Rob Black Show social media, Twitter, Facebook and so on. If there is anything important or worthy of me to comment on, he will tell me.

She tweeted me something to the effect of I am one of the fatties that worked for you. Or something like that. I guess she read one of the stories on AdultFYI about BBW’s saving me from my manorexia. www.adultfyi.com/read.php?ID=60253

So Tom Byron feels that it was that story that Karla Lane was referring to when she tweeted me. He asked me when I shot her. I told him we shot her in a movie called Mercy Fucks.

I had a kid that worked for me that we called Chris Justice. He is also known as Chris Evans, Alana Evans’ husband. I refused to call him that. I told him you’re not gonna be working here and have the name of your fucking wife. That is so lame. It’s such a loser move, it’s revolting. So we came up with the name Chris Justice. I think it’s an awesome name.

Chris loved to fuck anything. He didn’t give a fuck. He did the blowjob line, he had every animal sucking on his dick. He was a man after my own heart. So we came up with the concept of having him fuck fat bitches and calling it Mercy Fucks. Because Chris was a really good looking kid, or at least I thought he was. About six two, in shape, big dick, I mean he was a good looking kid.

So the premise was that all of these fat slobs were gonna be lucky and privileged to fuck such an awesome looking dude. Swear to god, that was my premise. I said we’ll call it Mercy Fucks and you’ll fuck these girls who aren’t used to fucking anyone good looking.

We were sorta pioneers of the genre. We were doing it when it wasn’t necessarily in vogue. Jim Powers did a movie that had probably one of the best titles I ever heard. The Fat, The Bald and The Ugly. Fuckin Jim Powers, man.

When we made Mercy Fucks, the concept was to shoot the girls and make them look really pretty. It would be funny to depict these beasts as normal sized girls. So we did montages, like the Tom Byron tease montages with the really cool music and the girls are spreading their asses and dancing. The comedy element was having 500 pound girls doing the Tom Byron imitation and the panning up and down their bodies and seeing and smelling every pound of gristle.

Karla Lane’s routine was at Tom Byron’s old house. He had this pool with a beautiful rock waterfall. I told Chris make sure you shoot Karla in the rock waterfall. Have her running her hands all over her body and fat belly. Shoot it as if she is a Playboy Playmate in a beautiful waterfall like you see on the E! channel. We’ll put beautiful music behind it and the whole thing.

If you go and watch the movie Mercy Fucks, you will see five scenes with these beasts. The scene with Karla Lane in it has this beautiful music playing and Karla’s dancing, and she’s like 300 pounds, dripping water all over and you’re like, “Are they putting this big fat whale in a waterfall? They are, aren’t they. They’re treating this beast like she’s a 105 pound waif. That’s pretty funny.” Then of course, Chris comes in after the montage and mercy fucks them.

So Chris Justice was in the movie Mercy Fucks and Karla Lane starred in it. That was the first time we encountered her.

Now I’ll tell you about the second time. Karla was an AJ girl. He’s still running around. AJ is a black pimp. That’s the only way to describe him. Back when I met him in the 90’s, he would wear all of this fake jewelry. Worse that Brian Pumper. AJ would wear all of this fake bling. It would be so bad and so fake. But he would get the best slob whores anywhere. Anywhere.

He would get girls from train stations, he’d get girls from Sepulveda Boulevard. He would meet girls at buffets. Didn’t matter where they were.

Back then at Extreme, we had a line called Cocksmokers. We would literally shoot any animal that was around. I’ve told you guys the stories. We would shoot some of the most brutal, piece of shit girls ever. Ever.

We would put like 20 blowjobs in a movie and sell it. They were all original. They would go from beautiful to dog shit ugly. You would have a scene with Belladonna and you would have a scene with a crackhead named Odie. You would have girls with missing teeth from doing meth or yellow from pinging and purging.

So AJ would bring us girls left and right and we would shoot constantly because we were always in need of new blowjob content. Or piss content. Some of the girls would get pissed on, so we’d shoot that for our piss sites. I know. Horrible.

We actually had a girl in a wheelchair once. This black lady that did a blowjob scene. The way I told them to set it up was we had the guy, I think it was Mr. Pete, sit in the corner on a mattress. And I told them to have the crippled girl go to him, because people won’t actually believe she’s crippled. They’ll just think we got some black girl to sit in a chair and blow a guy. I said seriously guys, we gotta be authentic. See if she’s down for crawling.

So we talked to her and she’s like, “Fuck yeah, how much you gonna pay me?” Very ghetto. Kinda like the little guy in Boyz in the Hood. Kinda looked like him too, with the Jheri curls and everything.

I told her it’s awesome she’s in a wheelchair. She goes, “You think it’s cool I can’t walk and shit?” I told her “No, no. I think it’s cool you’re like liberated and comfortable enough to do this.” I thought I was gonna get knifed by the crippled black broad.

I told her we’d pay her an extra 100 and she’s like, “Cool.”

So Mr. Pete’s in the corner. She plops down on the floor, crawls over to him and starts sucking. Some of the best footage I ever shot. Gave her a thumbs up, the extra hunny and went back to my office.

Back to AJ.

Also what AJ would provide to me was girls to suck on my dick. During that era of my life there would be days where I would get blown three times. I swear to God. I’m not lying. There might be a morning where by like 11 AM I’m kinda jonesing and then girls would start making their way through the office. Boom, blowjob number one.

Then about six or seven o’clock, I’m feeling frisky again. I would need another blowjob. Girls would come down. AJ was one of the prime sources of talent. Or just dregs of society. I’d call AJ at like one in the morning, “AJ, what’s up?” He’s like “Robski! What’s up?” I’d go, “Whaddya got trolling around?” He’s like, “Be there in an hour.” His hour was like four hours.

He’d roll in about 3:30 or so in the morning and I’d look at the girl and think this girl could possibly have AIDS. Yeah, they definitely shouldn’t be sucking my dick. I think I’ll just jerk off in their face. So she’d take her shirt off and I’d maybe play with her tits. Maybe grab her hand and tell her to jerk me off after I made sure she didn’t have any lesions or shit on her hands.

When I was done, I’d go to my private bathroom to wash up. As I passed by my man Kevin’s office I’d say, “Kevin, throw her out.” Then I’d go into my bathroom and Kevin would go into my office and go, “OK honey, here’s your money.” She’d be sitting there with jizz still on her face, “What’s going on?” He’d go, “Time to go, here’s your money, here’s a towel.” And he’d get her the fuck out. He wouldn’t be that mean, he’d just go, “We have to do some wrestling business now. Thanks for stopping by.”

So I’d grab some soap, wash my dick and balls in the sink, fucking water everywhere. Then I’d come out and get Kevin and go, “OK let’s do XPW now.” Then we’d go and map out our television shows.

Now Karla Lane happened to be one of those midnight blowjobs. Hey, I told you guys I didn’t give a fuck. I just wanted to come. It’s all I wanted to do. I just wanted to come on someone.

We’d be doing wrestling meetings, mapping out a pay per view. If I hadn’t come three times that day, they would lose me at about 10:30. Kevin would go, “What’s wrong?” I’d go, “Fuck, I need to shoot a load.” So we’d have to take a break and call up AJ to get a whore down there so I could get off so I could concentrate on our wrestling business.

Chris Justice and Mark Zane shared an office. They had polaroids of girls that came in. One of them was Karla Lane. I go, “What about her?” They were like, “Are you kidding? She’s 400 pounds!” I go, “I don’t care, look at those tits. And she’s got a pretty face.” I wouldn’t fuck that sloppy pussy, I just wanted to come.

She was this cute fat Mexican broad. You know how I love fat Mexican girls. I remember going, “Who brought her in?” They’d go, “AJ.” I went, “Call him up.”

Called AJ and he goes, “Oh Robski, I knows you would like her!” I’m like, “OK, bring her down.”

So he brought her down at like 10:30 that night. I remember we had people in my office, so I had to go upstairs and do it in this dark, hot office. We had to be discreet, so I couldn’t really relax. Kinda like Bill Clinton doing his thing with Monica. But she was good, pretty face, awesome tits and these little hands with these kinda hot dog fingers. She would’ve been the perfect candidate for the Body Cone.

We did a bit recently where I described an idea I had for the Body Cone. It’s basically a cone like they put around a dog’s neck to keep them from chewing their wounds, except it covers the whole body from below the tits on down. Perfect for getting blown by fat chicks.

So Karla, I love you. Not in the “love” sense, I mean, I love my girlfriend.

But I love your spirit and I hope you win that goddamn award. And I’m gonna root for ya. Personally I think they’ll probably give it to Shibari, she’s the most political and she’s the one everybody talks about.

But I’m gonna root for ya, I’m gonna vote for ya. I’m gonna put you over. Because you’re my first cute fat Mexican great blowjob girl of all time.

So Karla Lane, a big fat shout out to you.

Follow Rob Black on Twitter @RealRobBlack Email: [email protected]