We’ve got some pretty big news. And I find it incredibly funny. I really do.

Any time the powers that be in the business get inconvenienced, I find it amusing. And the word inconvenienced for what just happened is pretty mild. But inconvenienced nonetheless. It’s incredibly amusing.

Because it doesn’t affect me. I’m not running around the valley trying to convince girls to suck me off or fuck me for a couple hundred dollars so I can give the footage to Jerry Estrada that he sells 200 pieces of and rips me off.

So I laugh my ass off when I see what I read in LA Weekly this morning. Let me share this with you and we’ll talk about it a little bit. It’s good. It’s fuckin entertaining.

We’ve talked about this before. We’ve talked about adult performers and the fact that the industry tries to classify them as independent contractors and the fact that it’s bullshit. I would go through this with my accountant during the heyday of Extreme Associates and he would tell me that if they wanted to, they could really bust my ass the way I pay talent as independent contractors. I would say why? He would say because they’re employees. I would say no they’re not.

He said that yes they were. There was a case a coupla decades ago that ruled that adult talent were employees. It was decided that when you give direction to someone, that classifies them as employees. It’s not like a painter who comes to your house and says the job will cost 5 thousand dollars and it’ll take two weeks. He comes and goes when he does and doesn’t require someone to give him instructions on how to paint. Unless the client is Pat Morita and the painter is the fuckin Karate Kid.

Porn actors on the other hand are told when to fuck, who to fuck, how to act while they’re fucking. Porn actors don’t do a fucking thing other than what the director tells them to do. That classifies them as employees according to the state. Especially when they constantly work for the same producers.

People say, “We’re like Hollywood actors.” No we’re not. The Hollywood system is set up with actors who have contracts and who are paid by their corporations. Now if porn talent has a corporation and they pay the filing fees and they state that they are responsible for paying their own taxes, that’s different. But very few do that. Most of the time it’s 20 year old girls who don’t even have checking accounts and cash their checks at 7/11 or the neighborhood check cashing place.

So these people are employees.

I speak from experience. I didn’t always operate out of a dirty strip club. I did have a ten million dollar company at one point. I’ve had to pay workmen’s comp claims and I’ve had my accountant tell me that if I didn’t pay people through payroll and I gave them checks directly I could pay a quarter million in taxes and fines. But it’s what we did. It’s what people do to this day. Still to this day. No one except maybe a couple of the big companies like Vivid pay their talent through legitimate payroll. When I say legitimate, a lot of people say they do payroll in order to string talent along and put off paying them for a coupla weeks. Or they say they pay “same day” to get a better rate.

This business has always operated like an outlaw industry. But it won’t be for long. The noose is getting tighter and tighter. The industry is going to have to start complying with the law. There’s nowhere to go to escape it. Nobody’s going to Vegas. Because you’re still going to be operating illegally. Operating illegally and under the gun is no fun.

Porn is an easy political target. Republicans play to their social conservative base and Democrats sell porn out all the time to make deals. Porn is always in the firing line come election season. Happens all the time. Now that the hangman’s noose is getting tighter, people are starting to choke. The business never regulates itself until it is forced to comply.

Let me read you this story from LA Weekly. It was written by Dennis Romero.

“Porn Gets “Landmark Decision” on Condoms”

“Condoms are mandatory for porn production in California, an administrative law judge has ruled.”

“The AIDS Healthcare Foundation, which has been fighting for laws that explicitly require prophylactic use in adult film, last night called the ruling by a California Division of Occupational Safety and Health (Cal/OSHA) judge a “landmark decision” that affirms “barrier protection” applies specifically to the porn business.”

“AHF spokesman Ged Kenslea told us that one of the most important aspects of the ruling …”

 “… is its affirmation that performers are indeed employees due protection under under workplace safety rules. The group has long argued that federal law prohibiting exposure to bloodborne pathogens such as sperm at the workplace applies to California’s adult performers.”

“The industry has said that porn stars are very part-time workers who paid per “scene” as independent contractors.”

So you see what the industry tries to do. They try to say porn stars are paid per scene. The judge just said, “Fuck you.”

“The ruling by Judge Mary Droyovage wrote that, without condoms, there is “substantial probability that employees would suffer serious exposure resulting in serious physical harm or death if violation occurred.”

“Kenslea said AHF’s stance is that the ruling applies only to condom use and that it does not mandate dental dams, surgical masks, eye protection, gloves and other gear feared by the industry.”

Hmm… OK.

You guys hearing this? Or are Steve Hirsch, Diane Duke and Free Speech Coalition gonna say, “This is bullshit. We’re gonna fight this!” You ain’t gonna fight shit, assholes. You’re not fighting anything. You lost. It’s over. You all knew it was coming.

I’ve already told you about how many companies aren’t shooting anymore because there’s no money in it anymore. Now anyone can sue any company that doesn’t require condoms.

Sorry, guys. But it’s happening.

“The case involved a “bareback” sex tape by Bay Area studio Treasure Island Media. The video featured multiple partners on film, none apparently using condoms. Treasure Island appealed Cal/OSHA’s sanctions, leading to the ruling.”

I guess fighting and going after the state didn’t work out too well for ya, did it Treasure Island Media?

I told you all about the next case. A lot of you didn’t believe me. Will you believe me now?

“In other cases, including one involving Larry Flynt’s video house, the studios just paid their fines, sometimes about $10,000 worth, and moved on, Kenslea told us. It’s a move that had become the norm when producers were faced with citations for failure to use condoms, he said.”

Now I told you about a production a couple of years ago that involved my retarded cousin Mark Zane. He was shooting a movie for Hustler and got busted on a shoot. Some piece of shit gonzo that cost about 4000 dollars. He got hit for no condoms. He took the heat and the violation and Hustler basically told Mark to get fucked. They promised him a bunch of work if he would be the fall guy and they of course fucked him over.

Hustler hasn’t been shooting all year. The movies that they were nominated for were done a while ago. They’re finished. They’re discontinuing the magazine. Larry Flynt went on TV and said that if a product doesn’t sell, why sell it? He makes his dough on his casinos.

Do you really think Drew Rosenfeld is out there shooting without condoms? They’re done. They have a cable channel called New Frontier and buy rights for broadcast from other companies. They have no need to shoot. No need to worry about condom laws. No need to worry about selling DVDS. No need to worry about anything.

Why would Larry take a risk of being busted for no condoms and spend thousands on legal fees when he can buy cable rights for a couple thousand? Larry Flynt was busted. He paid a fine and it went away. He’s not going to do it again. Hustler Video is finished.

I know you guys don’t like to hear the truth. But you should embrace the truth, instead of having little jackoff fests like Free Speech Coalition did last night for the losers of the business who sat there and watched videos that said Steve Hirsch was an awesome guy while the industry gets a barbed wire baseball bat shoved up its ass. They’re all drinking and having a good time pretending none of this is happening. Why? Because Paul Cambria tells them not to worry about it.

Paul Cambria, the greasy little wop from Buffalo who’s made his money preying on the fear on the industry. He’s seeing his money dwindling away. Gotta have Paul Cambria. He’ll protect us. He’s the best attorney there is. Gotta pay him a big retainer.

Yeah Paul, retain this. My cock and balls in your mouth.

And so:

“Because Treasure Island appealed, however, it allowed the judge to issue what AHF believes is “a precedent-setting ruling” that covers the entire industry, he said.”

“The industry is waging a court challenge against an L.A. law that requires condoms for productions in most of the county. And it’s expecting another round of legislation that would codify condoms in porn in California.”

“This ruling could make those battles moot, however. AHF president Michael Weinstein said:

“Treasure Island has been quite outspoken in its opposition to condom use in the company’s films. That is partly why we filed workplace health and safety complaints with Cal/OSHA: to press for the enforcement of existing state and local workplace regulatory guidelines which require the use of condoms in their – and all – adult films produced in California. After Treasure Island took its OSHA case to trial, claiming that the performers in their films were independent contractors and that the section of the regulations regarding Bloodborne Pathogens did not apply to the adult film industry, the court sustained Cal OSHA’s citations after testimony and evidence were presented. This ruling is a milestone for workplace safety in California …”

“The industry argues that its twice-a-month testing of its performers works. It says consumers don’t want to see condom porn.”

“In the face of this kind of regulation, the business has threatened to move out of its longtime base of L.A., but so far it has been mostly talk.”

“The industry trade group, Free Speech Coalition, is in the middle of its annual Summit, which is being held in Westwood.”

“One of the panel discussions, the group states, is about “a steady increase in law enforcement activity in the adult industry from agencies such as the FBI, FTC, OSHA, local police, and DHS.”

End of story.

So how do you guys feel about that?

What we have here is a very serious issue. A judge has stated very clearly that adult performers are employees and as employees they need to be protected.

Condoms are here to stay. That’s all there is to it.

Diane Duke and Steve Hirsch can run their mouths all day about individual freedom, but the fact is porn performers are employees and are entitled to safety and protection. The judge isn’t saying you can’t have whips and paddles and slap each other around. She’s just saying if you fuck you gotta wear a rubber.

Protection. No different than you gotta wear a helmet to ride a motorcycle. You gotta wear seat belts. A doctor or someone handling your food has to wear rubber gloves. In fact, there’s a new law in California that makes sushi chefs wear gloves now. So for the industry to think that they can go around spraying cum everywhere and spread diseases because they don’t wanna wear rubbers is ludicrous.

The industry is gonna get hit with fines and jail time if they don’t comply. Now it’s serious. The state ain’t fuckin around.

The days of 50 man anal cream pie gang bangs are over. Xander Corvus shoving his bloody penis in Cameron Bay’s mouth is a thing of the past. If you think otherwise, you’re completely delusional. If you think it’s a joke, nobody’s laughing.

If you think paying Free Speech Coalition to fight this is gonna change anything, you’re an idiot. A federal judge has said that the condom law is constitutional. Now a state judge has said that performers are employees and have to wear rubbers. Do you really think an appeals court is gonna overturn these decisions and say, “Go ahead porn industry. Go ahead and just spray your cum everywhere!”

If you believe that, I got a bridge to sell you and it’s called The George Washington.

And that’s the porn news for the day.

Follow Rob Black on Twitter @RealRobBlack Email: [email protected]