Porn Valley- On second and long, the prevailing wisdom, as Joe Theisman might say, is for Terrell Owens to go deep on Nicolette Sheridan.

Will Owens do the skater’s glide today? In just nine games he’s already within reach of the franchise record for touchdown receptions, so our feeling is he’s gonna be a regular Hans Brinker and the Eagles may have another easy one on their hands today with the ‘Skins’s resurgent defense playing like spent condoms. Billy The Crystal, the arbiter of the spirit world, however, is the only Adultfyi’er leaning towards the Redskins.

Billy, along with Wankus, are also the only two foreseeing the possibility of a Miami win at Seattle. And they may be right. Seattle took it in the shorts from St. Louis in OT and doesn’t look like the same team that was being considered a Super Bowl contender earlier this year. And Porno Steve, I see, is the only Adultfyi’er, going for Cincinnati against Pittsburgh. Of course with Steve’s move to Houston, he hasn’t been the same since, either. Besides, rumors are that Duce Staley might be back in the lineup [which I seriously doubt having had one of those hammy stringy things myself]. Either way, look for Pittsburgh to be as good or even better than the train wrecks they inflicted upon Philly and Cleveland.

I don’t know. With Eli Manning now crouching over the New York Giants’s center, I’ve got to to go with them over Atlanta. Because, if Manning doesn’t succeed, all those Eli’s Coming headlines the New York papers are readying will all be for naught.

And that Baltimore-Dallas game looks tricky. I’m still going with Baltimore even though I can’t stand their quarterback. But not only that, Baltimore has won nine of its last 10 home games, so they’re ready to be knocked off. And I can’t say as I would be too unhappy about that because- did I mention- I hate their quarterback. It all goes back to a Monday night game earlier this year. Damn, I wish I had picked Dallas as did Shannon from Adult DVD Empire, Wankus and Billy The Crystal.

Another game that might put a hot needle in your eyeball is the New York Jets- Cleveland game. Everyone’s talking about how mental errors with the time clock lost the Jets the game last week. But truth is, can you really pin your hopes on a quarterback named Quincy? Having noticed that I picked the Jets, I take that all back.

And the Monday night game features New England and Kansas City. The Chiefs are playing without Priest Holmes. Enough said.

Here’s how this week’s schedule shapes up along with the Adultfyi picks:

Dallas at Baltimore; St. Louis at Buffalo; Indianapolis at Chicago; Denver at New Orleans; New York Jets at Cleveland; Arizona at Carolina; Tennessee at Jacksonville; Detroit at Minnesota; Pittsburgh at Cincinnati; San Francisco at Tampa Bay; Miami at Seattle; San Diego at Oakland; Atlanta at New York Giants; Washington at Philadelphia; Green Bay at Houston

Monday Night: New England at Kansas City

Harry Weiss [97-47] picks: Baltimore, St. Louis, Indianapolis, New Orleans, Cleveland, Carolina, Tennessee, Minnesota, Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay, Seattle, San Diego, New York Giants, Philadelphia, Green Bay, New England

Chris R from KSEX, www.kseradio.com [91-53]: Baltimore, St. Louis, Indianapolis, Denver, New York Jets, Arizona, Jacksonville, Minnesota, Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay, Seattle, San Diego, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Green Bay, New England

Shannon from www.adultdvdempire.com [91-53]: Dallas, St. Louis, Indianapolis, Denver, New York Jets, Arizona, Jacksonville, Minnesota, Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay, Seattle, San Diego, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Green Bay, New England

Gene Ross [87-57]: Baltimore, St. Louis, Indianapolis, Denver, New York Jets, Arizona, Tennessee, Minnesota, Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay, Seattle, San Diego, New York Giants, Philadelphia, Green Bay, New England

Sean from Porn Legends, www.pornlegends.com [85-59]: Baltimore, Buffalo, Indianapolis, Denver, New York Jets, Arizona, Jacksonville, Minnesota, Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay, Seattle, San Diego, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Houston, New England

Porno Steve [84-60]: Baltimore, Buffalo, Indianapolis, New Orleans, Cleveland, Arizona, Jacksonville, Minnesota, Cincinnati, Tampa Bay, Seattle, San Diego, New York Giants, Philadelphia, Houston, Kansas City

Wankus from KSEX, www.kseradio.com [83-61]: Dallas, St. Louis, Indianapolis, Denver, New York Jets, Arizona, Jacksonville, Minnesota, Pittsburgh, San Francisco, Miami, San Diego, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Green Bay, New England

Sports Swami [81-63]: Baltimore, St. Louis, Indianapolis, Denver, Cleveland, Carolina, Jacksonville, Minnesota, Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay, Seattle, San Diego, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Green Bay, New England

Steve from Las Vegas Novelties, www.lvni.com [79-65]: Baltimore, St. Louis, Indianapolis, New Orleans, Cleveland, Carolina, Jacksonville, Detroit, Pittsburgh, San Francisco, Seattle, San Diego, Atlanta, Philadelphia, Green Bay, New England

Billy The Crystal [74-70]: Dallas, St. Louis, Indianapolis, Denver, New York Jets, Arizona, Tennessee, Detroit, Pittsburgh, Tampa Bay, Miami, San Diego, Atlanta, Washington, Green Bay, New England