Porn Valley- Left with a computer virus that was giving me the Internet shits, I headed Friday afternoon over for a visit with Sandy Bunz. Offering me a beer, Bunz is dressed in a maroon sweat shirt. He’s wearing a buzz cut, and with the look [remarkably captured on a cartoon company logo] bears a passing but soft resemblance to Sam Huff, once considered the most feared linebacker in the NFL. But I don’t picture Bunz leaping over his desk to make a flying gang tackle.

Not one for elaborate office decor, Bunz opts for the bingo parlor touch, and his desk is one of those tables generally reserved for the Mexican announcers at wrestling pay per views. You know the ones- the tables that get sheared in half when flying leaps from the top rope make their wobbly construction fairly obvious.

Popping the beer, Bunz, making reference to my Tommy Sinopoli, www.stardustindustries.com article of last week, apologizes for the lack of Chevas Regal. “It was Chevas Regal that Tommy gave you?” Bunz asks for clarification. I explain that I probably wrote Crown Royal in the article but by the time I had left Tommy’s office, the initials were blurring the identity of the booze. “I think Tommy’s a helluva nice guy,” Bunz states.

Bunz fills me in a little on personal history, how he started his company in 2000, how Mickey Blank got him started in the business. Neither is Bunz necessarily shy about the 22 months he did in a real estate deal that went in the wrong direction. We talk about anal sex. Bunz tells me he doesn’t like it. I ask if that was from personal experience during those 22 months. He laughs saying it wasn’t that kind of environment. Bunz remembers the first time he pulled his dick out of a woman’s ass and it had shit on it. It pretty much swore him off the topic. I’m then reminded of a piece of advice once lent by Max Hardcore, www.maxhardcore.com, that you just wipe the shit off your dick and move on.

Bunz and I get to talking about the economics of the business, and Bunz, who shoots a lot of his stuff outdoors and on the river, tells me how he generally finds girls who’ll work for a hundred bucks. I’m finding this hard to believe. But Bunz, who advertises for talent in the OC Weekly and L.A. Weekly, swears the most he may have ever paid a girl is $500. He tells me a story about some girl who’s trying to get money out of him, claiming he smeared her on the Internet. Bunz said he merely told the truth, that she was terrible.

Bunz then gets a call that interrupts the flow of thought. I listen to his end of the conversation, Bunz, yeah-yeah-ing some guy, making faces as though he’s talking to a retard. Evidently the guy IS a retard. It’s some new male performer trying to get work and Bunz is wondering aloud whether he ever heard of the guy.

Apparently not from the way the guy responds to his questions. Bunz also asks the caller who he’s worked for. “Some guy?” Bunz says into the phone, not believing that the caller can’t come up with a better reference than that. After some more back and forth, Bunz, to get his annoying caller off the phone, finally tells him, “Yeah I’ve heard of you. I heard you suck.” Bunz hangs up.

I can’t help but notice that Johnny St. James is working for Bunz. Bunz, mentions that St. James is a Navy vet and that he likes the guy a lot. Bunz also tells me that Michelle St. James, James’ wife, has gained something like 50 pounds. I tell Bunz my Michelle St. James story when she came into Extreme a couple of years ago. I thought Michelle St. James was pretty hot, and Michelle St. James more or less tells me that she’s doing outcall. But I also notice that Michelle St. James is surgically attached to Johnny St. James so I kind of lose interest in establishing a one-hour love connection if the possibility brought Johnny St. James on a 20 yard leash. No offense.

Bunz tells me he’s got this pit bull that’s nowhere as tenacious as Johnny St. James, so evidently I read the signs correctly. Then, some time after that visit to Extreme, St. James calls me one afternoon to tell me she and Johnny St. James have split which I take as a broad hint. When opportunity presents itself, I call St. James to arrange for a rendezvous but I’m hearing Johnny St. James’ voice in the background. I’m thinking this is not such a good idea.

I then mention to Bunz that maybe that extra 50 pounds might be looking good on Michelle St. James right about now. I figure the weight might have made a great ass even greater. But Bunz tells me that she’s also found Jesus. Besides Burger King, that’s probably another good reason for not calling. Michelle St. Jesus. Go figure.

Bunz tells me a story in brief about a time when Michelle St. James and this McKenzie chick from Texas [a 40-something woman that worked for awhile in the business] went on a call, and this John’s wallet winds up getting stolen. Which reminded me of a similar story I heard involving McKenzie and some other guy who claimed that she stole his credit cards while on a porn set. If I got the story straight, Bunz also tells me that McKenzie took a knife to Dino Bravo, once. Speaking of which, I ask Bunz about his ongoing court drama with Dino, the most recent date being a couple of weeks ago.

“I still have to appeal that thing,” says Bunz fielding the question. Small claims, as I understand from Dino, has already awarded him $5000 but Bunz is of the legal opinion that this thing is going to stretch out. “Maybe I should hire my lawyer, I don’t care,” muses Bunz. “It doesn’t matter to me. He won’t get a dime anyway.”

Bunz then tells me about another sales girl that he had, one that was making something like 6g’s a month. “Which is very good for a 22 year old girl,” Bunz thinks. “She says, Sandy, my relatives came out this weekend. We’re all going to Disneyland. I go cool. That sounds like a nice idea.” Bunz said he wasn’t paying attention but next thing notices that she’s gone.

“I called her up on her cell phone and said, hey, where are you going? She goes I’m going to Disneyland. I go, wait, this is Monday. She goes, so? I said do you really want to go to Disneyland, you might be losing something by going out there rather than selling? She goes, no, no, no, I’ll see you tomorrow morning.” After the phone call, Bunz says he went straight to the bank and got a cashier’s check for money that he owed her. He fired her the next morning when she showed up for work.

It’s no small coincidence that Bunz is now looking for another sales person.