The subject on KSEX Monday night was parties. Lots of ’em this weekend. With the biggest go-figure shocker being the fact of KSEX intern Dahmer winning the football betting pool at Wankus’ house. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. Then KSEX co-ho Rebecca Love proved a luscious foil in yet another discourse on partying with hilarious results. But we’re getting ahead of ourselves.
A call by Craig the bass player, prompted a discussion of Lisa Sparxxx’s birthday party at the Radisson Saturday night. Wankus asked Craig if he got his dick sucked by Lani Kahlua. Craig said no and Wankus said he must have been the only guy in the room who didn’t. Craig said Sparxxx was ready to shut the party down and he was kicked out before getting a chance. Wankus informed Craig that he was fingering Lani while talking to Craig on the balcony. “You didn’t notice that?” Wankus said there’s something about her that he just wants to pound. “There’s something about her that’s sexy but then I heard she fucked Billy Banks. I don’t know if I want to do her.”

Craig was also asked if he had paid $25 to get into the party. Craig said yes, confirming the rumor that had been circulating all night that Sparxxx was, indeed, charging her fans. “Lisa Sparxxx working her fans!” Wankus exclaimed.

“No wonder it was a cock fight.” Craig said he didn’t mind paying, that he was just happy being there. Wankus said he couldn’t believe that Sparxxx had charged her fans. Explaining the situation in detail, Wankus said Sparxxx originally was going to rent out the entire sixth floor. Or so she said. Love ventured a guess as to the party’s final accommodations. She was pretty close, going for sparse. “It was like a medium-sized room,” said Wankus. “If you were a couple and went, it would have been okay; pretty much good for four.” Love said what did you expect from a Radisson. According to Wankus, close to 70 people were crowded in one room approximating a Marx Brothers movie. There might have been ten girls, all told. Wankus said a couple of additional rooms were set aside as fuck rooms, but there was no one to pick up unless you were gay.

Wankus said Harry Weiss and Steve Seidman were hanging out on the balcony. Weiss and Seidman are starting a show this week called Dee and The Fatmen. Wankus said with the logistics of the party being what they were, Weiss and Seidman could not squeeze onto the balcony. Johnny Buss was also there, said Wankus.

Changing the subject to Don Hollywood’s birthday party on Friday night, Wankus noted the presence of some Hell’s Angels. “It was a weird weekend- but they were all nice. They were all cool.” What made it funny, said Wankus, is that skinny dipping is an inevitability at one of Hollywood’s parties and some of the biker girls there were pretty hot. Wankus said he was watching one girl who got in the pool. “She had a perfect ass.” Wankus asked Brooke Hunter if the perfect ass girl was with one of the Hell’s Angels. He was told yes, but that the guy with her was cool and said she has permission to play. “I’m like, dude, I don’t care if the guy puts it in writing. I am not fucking a Hell’s Angel girl. No fucking way.”

Love compared that to fucking a mobster’s wife. “What if half way through he decides it’s not okay?” Wankus asked. “You’re fucking dead but it was a fun time.” Wankus said he also beat Hollywood in Miss Pacman which is a major achievement. Wankus said he would back a bet on Hollywood against anybody. “Don’s high score is like 400,000.”

Wankus mentioned that Dahmer who was at Sparxxx party came to his football party Sunday. Love asked if he had to pay $25 to get in. “Actually he won the football pool which is really scary,” said Wankus. “He picked based on cute helmets- that kind of shit.” Wankus said it was a good time having him despite the fact that he brought used dip. “That doesn’t work. Fresh dip.” Wankus told a story about he used to hang out with a crowd who kept their noses in the air and that some girl came to a party with half-eaten dip. “Dude, everybody in the room was, like, ugh, agh. It was fuckin’ hysterical but they were pissed.”

Love said she had done it herself but never met a girl who used dip. With that comment, Wankus imagined that the whole time Love thought they were talking about chewing tobacco. “What the fuck were YOU talking about?” she wanted to know. “I grew up in the country. I thought it was dip.” Wankus had to explain that the dip he was talking about was chip dip. Love thought the entire time, they were talking about tobacco. “I thought you were kidding!” Wankus roared. “Hey, Rebecca’s pretty funny tonight.”