Sometimes it’s about the feet. But most times it’s about the ass- man ass, that is- especially when you’re talking about Tom Byron’s Ass Eaters Unanimous series.
Byron and the EvolutionErotica crew were at KSEX Thursday night shooting Alana Evans in real time tossing the salad and sucking the cock of Tony Sexton. What made it even funnier was the fact that Evans and husband Chris were right in the middle of their Internet show and Chris nonchalantly began offering humorous play-by-play as though he were describing a putt on the 18th green.
Chris mentioned how, in preparation for the scene, Alana was doing her little jaw exercises all day. “Jaw yoga.” Alana described Sexton as a crazy Australian, Chris noting that he himself is half-Australian, half-New Zealander but born in America, which, according to his father is probably what fucked him up. On the subject of dicks, Chris also quoted Brett Rockman, possessor of one of the biggest in the business, as saying that Alana sucks the best cock. Alana noted that she’s also made her way through the KSEX male roster with a few exceptions. She was also particularly horny this week because she had two scenes that cancelled, one because of the fire.
Chris continually made references throughout the evening about how Alana was slutting herself around the business again and keeping him in the manner to which he’s become accustomed. “Hos make money, I get excited. But we need you to fuck a little more- my child support just went up.”
Alana said she’s been getting amazing response to her hole. “I’m really excited for your hole, imagine that,” responded Chris like a true, loving husband. Alana said she has been working for Wicked and Vivid. “I’ve been taking cock up my ass like a motherfucker,” she said. “All of a sudden it’s open again. I’m like, yeeah! Stick my fist up there.” Chris wondered if her asshole had ever closed. “Yes, that little bastard closes right up,” she said. “When I stopped doing anal it was like regaining my anal virginity all over again. I really forgot how good those orgasms in my ass are.”
Chris made a reference to some chick calling Alana out on a Vivid shoot. Alana said it happened in Venice. “They took me from where I was supposed to be to shoot those little DVD interviews,” Alana continued. “I’m totally dressed, the whole thing. I guess we were in an area that belonged to the medical office next door. So this chick walks up looking at us all crazy and starts yelling at us telling us we’re not supposed to be there.” Alana said the woman heard Alana make a comment about sticking it up her butt and began giving her some major attitude. Alana told her she could be nice and the woman responded by saying, “I’m not the whore.”
Alana said the Vivid people started yelling at her to calm down and not stoop to her level. “It was their fault. I was where I was supposed to be and I got this stupid fucking bitch yelling at me. It made me mad when people at Vivid yelled at me, too.” Chris said he got a message from Alana who was crying and went down to the set. “I thought I was going to get to kick someone’s ass because they were disrespecting my chick. Unfortunately it wasn’t anything that exciting.” Chris noted that when he got there it looked like Alana was ready to fuck Evan Stone “and this guy with this other girl.” Chris said he wasn’t quite sure about that because they’ve had a lot of problems with Jessica Drake.
“As couples in the business we’ve had these little things going on.” With the Evans’ talking over one another, it was hard to make out exactly what the problem was, except that it sounded like Alana had issues with Drake for talking shit about them and attempting to block them from getting work.
Alana also mentioned how she fucked a fan at a Halloween swingers party last week. “I am a fan fucker now.” Evans was dressed as Alice in Wonderland and took on a black guy over the bed with the entire room watching. Chris said he enjoyed the moment when Alana said to the guy, “How does it feel to fuck your favorite porn star?” Alana said she met this guy last year who identified himself as a fan but wasn’t prepared to fuck him.
“This time I, don’t know, I guess I had enough to drink and it was pretty good,” she said. “He had a big dick, man.” Alana said the moment guys pull down their pants and she sees a big, meaty cock, she’s in another land. Under those circumstances – with a dick hanging around the knees- Alana said she’d even consider Dahmer the KSEX intern. That being the case, Chris said he’ll consider having a doctor move his knees up his thighs. “And I’ll be hanging.” Alana mentioned that Chris enjoys fucking dirty holes. “It turns you on if there’s dick inside me that doesn’t belong to you. Most men are really freaked out about that and you’ve turned it into a nice perversion.”
Upon further discussions of Alana’s anatomy and where it’s been, Chris noted that her labiae are hanging. “There’s some mileage on those mud flaps. My fucking average white meat did not do all that shit: Marcus, Lexington, Jon Dough, Mandingo, just to name a few- all in your hole. It’s broken.” Alana suggested that he work out the math. “All those dudes fuck me once or twice a week. You fuck me three or four times a day.” The pot calling the kettle black, Alana also noted that it was Chris who was bringing the STD’s home.
Mentioning Kurt Lockwood as an example, Chris wondered how some guys got deals where they get to fuck other chicks but their chicks don’t get the same considerations. “I think it should be just equal either way.” Alana was in agreement and said she thinks it’s totally whacked if “A stupid chick stays home and only does scenes with her boyfriend; and he can fuck whoever he wants? That doesn’t work. That’s not cool.”
Chris also wanted to give this month’s Ho Maturity Award to Holly Hollywood. “She went from doing all-girls for like four years; she’s doing d.p.; she’s doing anal. Big props for taking dick like you should for the business. You can only sustain a career licking pussy for so long.” Alana said it was amazing to watch her fuck. “Her eyes roll back into her head and she makes these noises.” Chris said the only problem is the fact he hasn’t got to fuck her yet. Alana suggested the Motel 6 remedy of either leaving the lights on and the door open. “Don’t stress when they don’t (accept an invite).