Porn Valley- After weeks of shameless self-promotion, Tony Batman finally landed his own KSEX show. But it’s not like he didn’t earn it. When called upon, Batman has been filling in for the other station’s peejays at all hours- including the graveyard shift. And he’s been doing so with staggering amounts of enthusiasm and listener interest. Thursday night heralded I Don’t Think So Buddy, the title of the show in which Batman, presumably will try to get into co-host Monica Mayhem’s cave sometime before the next presidential election.
“There’s been a big debate on who was going to be the co-host for this show,” Batman announced. “It’s been highly publicized and it was going to be a big surprise. It worked. We finally got you.” Batman wondered why it took so long to get Mayhem.
“Maybe because no one ever approached me before,” she suggested with a laugh. Mayhem is from Brisbane, Australia and explained how she got into the business.
“I’ve been in the business nearly six years now,” she stated. “I cannot believe it. I was working in financial markets in Australia since I was 16. Then I moved overseas. I moved to London and started dancing because I was so sick of that shit. And I got drunk one night and met one of the owners of the Spearmint Rhino. Four hours later I was on a plane and here I am. I didn’t have to fuck him or anything. No strings attached.”
Batman howled and said Mayhem put out the first in the potential string of I Don’t Think So Buddy comments.Mayhem was also advised by The Spearmint Rhino guy that whatever she did, don’t get into porn. In hindsight, she finds that amusing.
“This agent comes and says do you want to make a little bit of money or a lot of money,” said Mayhem. Asked who that agent was, Mayhem said, “You’re not going to believe this- Roy Garcia.” That prompted another howl from Batman who explained that Garcia thinks he’s famous.
“I lived in a crazy house for a few months,” Mayhem conceded.
“He shoots in this little itty-bitty house for websites, now,” Batman chimed in. “A condo you could even call it.”
“It was a house with some crazy girls that I won’t even mention,” Mayhem continued, “doing things I had never seen before in my life.”
“Did he give you the line that he was a Chippendale and a Playgirl model?” Batman asked her.
“He has the little picture on his business card, still,” Mayhem replied. “Like from his mainstream modeling days.”
Batman assumed that was probably 15 years ago and voiced the fact that if he had been in Playgirl he’d probably be showing off those pictures.
“I would keep that picture forever- I don’t blame him on that one,” Batman said. “Now that I’ve gotten all out of shape, fat and ugly.” While he’s not male talent, Batman explained that every once in awhile he does a scene.
“I’ve done- I would say five of them in three years. Not a bad deal. One of them happened to be for Roy Garcia.” Asked what it was for, Batman thought it was for something like Big Titty Fuckers.
“All I know is I got paid- and he kept saying- damn, everybody come here and look at this! He’s got a huge dick,” Batman laughed in the recollection. “So we’ve got this new guy and you’re in the room with the photographer and the camera and the girl. That’s the last thing you want to hear- everyone come in her and look at this. Everyone filing through the door, oh look! It’s a mental job especially for the males. I was going can you get these people out of here? I made it through and got paid my $300.”
With Batman breaking out the champagne, he predicted that the inaugural show would run a little out of whack with 15 or 16 people scheduled to come on to extend congrats. Batman credited Tyler Faith with naming the show for the simple reason that Batman thinks he’s a big super-star and that’s the standard reply among his co-horts.
“They’re just reminding me that I am the small fish here at KSEX.” Pouring it on in thick globs, Batman went on to explain that he wanted a co-host that wasn’t as pretty as Mayhem.
“Here’s the deal- the tech guys know that the fans just want to look at you,” Batman told Mayhem. “This means that I’m going to get the opening camera spot when I say hello to everybody. And that’s it. It doesn’t matter what I do. I could be dressed in a fucking clown outfit. I’m not getting back on camera! For the rest of the time your beautiful boobs and your beautiful body will be on camera. They hooked me up with a very beautiful co-host so that just means you’ll hear me and you won’t see me that much. Which is alright. I’m okay with that. I’m not a press whore- anything like that.”