Porn Valley- I was traumatized enough over at KSEX. There’s a picture of Jason Sechrest, www.jasoncurious.com on the mens room door, and there’s some warning attached to it about men who engage in bathroom sex. I ask what gives. I’m told that Joe Brandi apparently walked in on Sechrest and another guy having guy-on-guy action in the urinal.
And it wasn’t a blowjob. Someone was getting pounded in the ass but from the extent of the story I couldn’t tell whether Sechrest was pitching or catching.
Then I head over to PrimeTimeUncensored, www.primetimeuncensored.com where K.C. Armstrong’s showing video clips of black women motorists being tasered by power crazy fascist cops. The women were obviously traumatized in their own special way. And one of Armstrong’s guests, Joe Bud, a weightlifter-type with many tats on his Rob Spallone forearms and a ponytail is telling K.C. about his run-ins with cops that also included tasers.
Bud is telling this story about how he got drunk and took a piss in a police station.
“I fucked up,” Joe Bud says, noting that cops began giving him the third degree as to what he was doing there. When the police ran a make on him, they discovered that Joe Bud had past run-ins with the police and was considered a “cop hater” for a previous assault and battery rap involving police. Joe Bud says next thing he knows cops are showing up like ants and he gets the electric jimmy. In some monumental fuck-up in the court system, Joe Bud says this would have been his third strike and life. Except the judge only gives him 90 days.
Bud now has a clothing line for stoners and gangsters.
“It’s quality clothing at affordable prices,” Joe Bud is saying. Joe Bud, 38, has been smoking pot since the age of 13 and tells this story about how his mother caught him making a bong but that he convinced her it was a science project.
Knocking back raspberry Absolut shots straight from the bottle, Armstrong, admitting he’s half in the bag, has his eyes on the girl with Joe Bud. Her name’s Jacklynn [SP?].
“I want to lick where she pisses,” observes K.C. deferentially. K.C. expressed hope that Jacklynn and Joe Bud weren’t dating, and Joe Bud gives the impression that it was more like they used to fuck. A lot. They’re next door neighbors. Joe Bud says when they first met, it would be eight times a day for a couple of months at a time. In the course of one of these sexual marathons, Joe Bud breaks his dick. His dick now the size of a cannon ball, Joe Bud goes to a female doctor.
“I think she wanted to laugh at me but she was being professional,” he says. Joe Bud claims his dick healed and he wound up with more girth and an extra inch as a result.
K.C. is saying he really admires Joe Bud’s confidence with women then has another guest on the show, a Dr. Dennis Nader who apparently has enough confidence to sell you on his being a legitimate doctor of metaphysics. [A degree probably awarded from Miskatonic University.]
Nader’s also written a book called Being a Man in a Woman’s World and apparently holds seminars around the country to teach guys how to pick up women.
“Guys are playing the wrong game in a woman’s world,” contends Nader and leaves advice just vague enough where you’re going to buy his books and DVDs to learn the secret code.
[Hint: want to pick up a chick? Pull a ball of hundreds out of your pocket, peel one off and tell the girl you need change for the condom machine and can she break the bill for you.]
Embracing book stores and super markets, Nader goes on to say that bars and clubs are the worst places because women are expecting to be hit on and have already built up a defense.
“You’re competing with 100 other guys for women,” Nader continues. Among the strategic gambits, Nader is suggesting surprise, creativity, nuance and the sneak attack.
“Most guys get eaten alive,” Nader concedes. “You have to be bigger than life.” And as if you need a doctor of metaphysics to tell you this, Nader insists it’s all a numbers game.
Meanwhile, K.C. laments the fact that the hot chick is always accompanied by the fat friend and suggests diverting the fat friend’s attention with a Ding Dong.
Nader was also inclined to say that there’s a whore in every woman and it’s the man’s job to draw it out of her as well as define his relationship goals.
“My relationship goal is that they don’t call the cops,” Armstrong observes dryly. Armstrong also wondered if Nader’s seminar would teach him how to get anal sex.
Later in the show, Armstrong had on two relatively new girls from the industry, Victoria Valentino and Mia Starr.
“These broads are tens,” Armstrobg declared. Neither girl, both heavy in the chest, does interracial. Starr’s from California and Valentino hails from Arizona. And Armstrong wondered how living in Arizona Valentino made connections to get into the business. Valentino explains that she had already been a feature dancer. Starr, on the other hand, has never danced and started her career by modeling.
Armstrong asked Starr she could fall for Nader’s line of B.S. and she said it was doubtful.
“I’d work him.” According to Starr, she only dates regular guys and wouldn’t consider anyone from the business. Starr also explained that she limits her work to girls.
“I don’t think I could have a real relationship with a guy and work with men.”
Armstrong then coaxed the two women into a game of strip wiffle ball. And he didn’t need a degree in metaphysics.