Brian Wallace posts on ADT: In the Keri Sable thread, I opined that you could make a great soap opera out all the drama that’s occurred over the years at Wicked Pictures. Sort of like “The O.C.” but with Astro Glide.

Now comes news of a prank that Devinn Lane tried to pull on Brad Armstrong that seemed to have backfired. It was reported on Monstar’s site but I can’t seem to find it there now.

Devinn even issued an apology: “I would like to make a public apology to Brad Armstrong for the toilet papering of his house on Sunday during my shoot for Shane’s World. There was no malicious intent behind it and honestly, if I had known that your house had been recently vandalized/robbed I would have chosen someone else to pull the prank on.

“You and I aren’t the best of friends but during my five-and-a-half years at Wicked I felt that we’ve had a great rapport. You’ve been to my house on Thanksgiving and we’ve joked back and forth over the course of the years.

“Brad you have been and will remain one of my favorite directors to work with. I have nothing against you and haven’t in the past either. This was done purely out of fun and nothing else. Like I said I was unaware of your situation but it wasn’t like I was going to call and ask if tp’ing your house was ok and for that, I apologize.

“I was hired to do a job. I put that job together, hired the people, and scheduled the evening’s events. As far as Shane’s World knew, I was out shooting Slumber Party with a bunch of girls. I take full responsibility. Everyone, cast and crew, was there to do a job for me.

“I hope you accept my apology, my clean-up fee that I promised you, and consider giving Kimberly Kane her job back. I also hope that the girls that have been banned from Wicked are allowed to work there again. They are all great girls, Wicked is a wonderful company, and Shane’s World is awesome to work for. I’d hate to be the cause of bad blood between so many people when this is really between you and I.

“As I said, I take full responsibility for this and offer you my sincerest and most humble apology. It was meant to be a joke and nothing more and I’m sorry it didn’t turn out that way. This was a one-time deal so you shouldn’t worry about anything else happening, along with everyone else in the biz.”

Devinn Lane

Plot synopsis: Former contract girl plays prank on contract director who has sleezed his way with every contract girl EXCEPT said contract girl. Prank backfires.

I mean this thing practically writes itself! Get the “Desperate Housewives” people on the phone!

But seriously, as the son of a Phys. Ed teacher, who cleaned up a lot of TP-ing, eggs, bowling balls through windshields, you learn to clean up really well. Not a big deal. Hell Night, etc. (In Canada it’s called “Gate Night”.)

I’d suggest that Mr. Armstrong grow a set. Banning some of Devinn’s “Shane’s World” girls from future work at Wicked? That’s low class and weak.

Does Brad Armstrong hypnotize people? I’ve seen few people with less charisma. What is the hold he has on people and why do people still pay attention to him?

You’d have to change the title for the soap, though. “Sinful Pictures” instead of “Wicked”. You know, Ginna Gameson, Julie Ann, etc.

At least it would be better than “Skin.”

Kimberly Kane posts: Hello Everyone, I don’t want to drag this on but….I want to say one thing….You don’t cancel someone’s job during the holidays. I guess I’m not buying Christmas present this year….. Happy Holidays to you all…LOVE, Kimberly Kane

p.s. Was that dramatic enough? 🙂

Brian Wallace replies: I sorry about the situation, Ms. Kane. Christmas isn’t about giving gifts. It’s about being thankful for what you have and trying to spread love and kindness to others.

As for Mr. Armstrong, he may have a lot of things this Christmas but he doesn’t have class, integrity or any of my respect.

It’s almost like the old studio systems where a powerful producer or director could get you “blacklisted”, so to speak.

Whatever Brad Armstrong wants at Wicked, Brad Armstrong gets. It’s like an old boys network. It’s 2005. Hopefully all the current female-fronted adult businesses (Lane Entertainment, Club Jenna, etc.) will break up this monopoly of petty, controlling men who try to find girls with low self esteem to prey on. Which has been going on since the first 8mm loops…

Which is silly really, because are we really talking about an outrageously talented adult film director? Is Armstrong the Scorsese of adult films? Couldn’t some kid right out of film school direct something like “Eternity” with a little guidance? He’s not even the most powerful director at Wicked right now. Stormy Daniels is. Right now, they could do without Brad Armstrong. They couldn’t do without Stormy.

Well, I hope you and yours have a great and safe Christmas, Ms. Kane. In my opinion, it’s really not about presents.

Brian

P.S. When you sign a contract at Wicked do you get a t-shirt that says “I Slept with Brad Armstrong and all I got was this lousy t-shirt” OR “I work for Wicked Pictures and I didn’t even have to sleep with Brad.”?