I don’t know about you, but in my day, a 12 oz. bottle of Coca Cola was your best friend next to a spare tire when it came to parking with a young woman. It was a widely held belief that Coke served as an effective retardant to pregnancy and that with a simple shake and shoot after some man blast, your problems would be solved.

But now comes the British Medical Journal to piss on yet another revered old wive’s tale. The Coca-Cola douche according to Dr. Deborah Anderson of Boston University School of Medicine may go well with a shot of rum but that’s about it. While Coke may impede the mobility of sperm, Anderson says that sperm can get to the cervical canal so quickly that the Coke remedy is ineffective.

Anderson says the soda would have to be put in the vagina before sex “but that would undoubtedly be messy,” she adds.

I say, so what. If it works that way, go for it.