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Courtney Simpson Celebrates a Birthday

WWW- Rumor has it that Courtney Simpson will do anal with fans for as little as $225. Rumor has it that Courtney Simpson was brought into the business by the immortal Nicole Brazzle. And rumor has it that Simpson, a former ASU cheerleader celebrates a birthday May 9.

A product of a Mormon upbringing, Simpson’s father was an oral surgeon and would teach little Courtney dentistry at home when no one was looking. Consequently she brought many of those oral skills to her profession as a porn actress. Simpson claims she was a gymnast and had won a national bar competition. Which is nothing because we know three people in rehab who accomplished the very same thing.

Establishing the stringent fact that she would remain a virgin until marriage, Simpson elected to go to Arizona State University which is like travelling to Seattle without an umbrella. Possibly it was the prospect of a full academic scholarship which lured her there, although Courtney’s father had earned enough doing root canals to buy the one in Panama.

Frisky and effervescent, Courtney became a member of the Arizona State Sun Devils cheerleading squad because she looked good in saddle shoes and could come up with clever sports-related rhymes for the word “cunnilingus”.

As most college coeds normally do, Simpson responded to advertisements for nude models, and was first featured in photos on the Amateur Allure web site under the name Cory Heart. She later picked the last name Simpson to honor singer Jessica Simpson, another Rhodes scholar.

The story is told how Courtney met Nicole Brazzle in an airport in Las Vegas and by 10 drinks into a conversation, the two forget whether they were arriving or departing. Brazzle, who made a whimsical practice of betrothing non-existent G.I.’s, subsequently became Simpson’s agent and booked her with Max Hardcore – a career move similar to felching on American Idol.

Hard to imagine, but Simpson became dissatisfied with Brazzle’s management, and signed up with L.A. Direct Models particularly after someone had jokingly left a stack of porn photos of Courtney on the doorsteps of her parents house.

Prankster that she was, Simpson appeared in a Gina Lynn movie, Double Dutch, attired in a Sun Devils cheerleader’s outfit. The Arizona Republic later reported that the University was looking into a trademark infringement claim.

Another story is told that Gina decided to reverse the uniform on the video’s box cover so the initials said “USA” and not “ASU”. Proving that you really can be screwed either way, the United States of America reportedly looked into a trademark infringement claim.

Courtney, from all reports, decided to leave the business to try an occupation way more stable and prestigious – hooking. But this could be a vicious canard perpetrated by anti-Simpson jihadists.

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