Porn Valley- If it’s true that a handjob a day wards off prostate cancer, then five guys were spared the feeling of grapefruits wedged in their asses – at least for the time being. Running such a mission of mercy, Vince Voss was shooting this handjob movie for Defiance Films, Monday, and I ask Voss what it’s going to be called.

“I don’t know- something to do with handjobs,” he says with a shrug. I’m also hearing a story told about talent manager Skooby who used to stick his dick in the eye socket of a Wolfman Halloween mask to get off as a kid. Voss figures you don’t want those stories getting out, you don’t tell ’em.Still photog Tod Todd who generally has a lot of stories to tell isn’t telling any. Todd feels under the weather, he says. And since temperatures in the Valley have been hovering at 110, that’s a lot of weather to be under.

Meanwhile, the owner of the house on Kanan Rd. where Defiance has been shooting a lot of its movies lately is curious as to what you can write about a handjob movie. If he had heard Brian Surewood’s story earlier, then he wouldn’t have had to ask. Surewood, who’s working with Courtney Simpson, was telling me about an incident maybe 18 years ago where a buddy of his lost an ear while surfing, the surfboard cutting it off during a wipe out. Surewood is saying that it took an hour to find the ear.