Porn Valley- Devinn Lane looks like what you’d imagine a coed in a wet T-shirt contest to look: hair pulled back in a ponytail, baseball cap, glasses, white polo top, jeans and the requisite huge tits. Except Lane ain’t the coed- her daughter is. And that’s one of the reasons why Lane came back into the business – to direct.

“College tuition is expensive,” she admits. Also printed on Lane’s polo is the fact announcing that she hasn’t been to the mansion, meaning Hefner’s place. Lane has been there since [“we smoked out the grotto- it was fun”] but what kept her from going in the beginning was the requirement about submitting 8 by 10 glossies of herself. She remembers telling Playboy, just take a look at your channel for cryin’ out loud.

Monday morning, Lane’s directing this all-girl movie titled Pink Paradise for Sin City. Nowadays, she prefers to be a hired gun and shoot for whomever and stay out of the company politics and drama. A former contract girl with Wicked Pictures, there was a period when Lane spent about two years away from the business goofing off and petting her dog. Actually the sale of a townhouse at pretty much a 100% profit gave her the financial resonance to do so. But making the transition to directing wasn’t nearly as easy as unloading a town home.

Lane feels that it’s more difficult for female performers than it is for males to become directors. And in her case, Lane says that she worked for Wicked lent the impression that soft was the style she was used to. She quickly disproved that notion when she had Kurt Lockwood take it up the ass in a pegging scene.

So the fact remains Lane can shoot “hard” as well as anyone, and she’s got a scene lined up featuring Annette Schwarz and Sammi Rhodes which probably could serve as Exhibit B.

From Germany, Schwarz is tall and blessed with a very pretty face and shapely legs. I’m told she’s a discovery of Rocco’s.

“She’ll outdo Sandra Romain,” says Mark Spiegler who reps Schwarz. “She’s injured people.”

Or at least not permanently although Spiegler talks about how Schwarz once took one of Dirty Harry’s toenails off which may or may not be a Godsend to the world of podiatry. Then there was another occasion when Schwarz nearly took Lorelei Lee’s nose off, and yet another time Schwarz was supposed to have made Johnny Thrust cry. But not in a bad way, according to Spiegler.

“She’s an existentialist,” explains The Shylock. Yeah the nose, tears and the toenails puts Schwarz in the same league as Jean Paul Sartre. I suggest to Spiegler that Sasha Grey, another apparent existentialist, must enjoy Schwarz’s company at French cafes.

“Sasha’s an intellectual,” notes Spiegler. “Whereas Annette is a force of nature.”

I also understand that Lorelei Lee is no drizzle in the force of nature dept., either. She’s reputed to have broken Shane Diesel’s dick.

“I asked her how she did that- she says I dunno- he was behind me,” continues Spiegler.

Meanwhile, this is the first time Lane’s shooting Schwarz who’s decked out in black S&M gear. Accordingly, Lane’s simonizing Annette, buffing her hood to a sheen as though Schwarz were a collector’s edition Ford Mustang.

Lane’s telling a story about how she’s got a priest for a new neighbor and was afraid to be seen walking out of the house with a tub full of dildos for the shoot- one of which, a huge monster- is going to be going up someone’s ass in this scene. It’s a force of nature thing.

The scene opens with Rhodes shackled to an X-beam, first moaning then raising the octave to a level of volume rarely seen out of a Guantanamo detention center. Annette is swarming Sammi with existential girl-girl love.

But as far as one could tell, Rhodes managed to hold on to her nose and toenails. And there was nary a tear in the house.