Porn Valley- Felony and Mike Maravich were on KSEX Tuesday night on behalf of The Great American Squirt Off from Nocturnal Pictures/Shane’s World/. Felony obviously squirted in the movie and Maravich served as host.

What constituted a two-hour infomercial for the movie, Distorted Reality Show co-host Jew Hefner managed to spend some of that time bagging on Jack Lawrence who apparently couldn’t get it up in one of the scenes.

Felony said she’d been on KSEX after returning from a 4-year hiatus. Some of it had to do with education plus the fact that she had three kids during that time.

“I just wanted to be a young mother,” Felony explained. She’s 26 and has a birthday coming up in December. Asked about the premise of the movie, Felony said it was a bunch of girls just having fun and squirting on each other.

“I’ve seen the movie- it’s funny, it’s pretty crazy,” said Jew Hefner. “It blew me away- I’m thinking is this squirting shirt for real? I’m glad we got Felony on the show so she can lay down the law.”

Flexxx noted that the movie includes reverse bukkake and asked felony to lend some kind of explanation. She said there was something like 6 to 8 girls.

“They had all of us toward the end of the thing squirt into a cup,” she explained. “And basically we measured how much squirt each girl can basically squirt. At the end of each one [cup], a man would down the whole entire thing.” Jew Hefner said it was Jason Sinclair, Belladonna’s brother, who did it.

“Each girl squirted into a 3-cup measuring cup- technically a beaker- then he proceeded to drink after each girl,” continued Maravich who takes his name from Pistol Pete.

“I’d say it was a cup and a half per girl. And then he had to run outside and have alone time with a bucket. The hobo got a great show outside.” Jew said Flower Tucci won that part of the competition.

“She filled it up- I’ve never seen anything like it,” Hefner said. “It wasn’t yellow. It was clear but a little foggy. It looked like hot water and the steam was sill in the water. Sort of like that.” Felony went on to say that squirting was kind of a complicated thing.

“Some women think that they’re squirting,” she continued. “They don’t know that they’re actually urinating. They don’t have the control to squirt out of the clitoris as opposed to out of the urethra. But they think that they’re squirting. They say oh my God I’m about to squirt….”

“And then they just pee all over everybody,” Flexxx said completing the sentence.

“And then you have the individual that does squirt, that does have all that fluid inside of them and is able,” said Felony. Flexxx wondered if the cast was screened for urinators vs. squirters. Felony said all of the women [also in the cast are Angela Stone, Cytherea, Lexi Love and Kat] are good squirters.

“I’ve worked with all these women before and after this, and I have to say it tastes very good,” she said. Having been there, Maravich said he would agree that it wasn’t urine. According to Maravich, his shirt got hit with the substance and he has to find a toxic dump to get rid of it.

Doing the math, Flexx figured that at six girls and a cup of a half per girl, Jason must have taken down nine cups.

“It’s kind of gross,” said Maravich. Asked if she swallowed, Felony said yes but didn’t think she could take down nine cups. Comparing the consistency to jizz, Felony thought that female ejaculate was stickier and thicker.

“It has more texture to it.”

If Flexxx had to guess, he said he’d probably give the crown to Cytherea. And it was noted that one of the women did 16 feet-plus for distance. Hefner said he’d rather see that than watermelon seed spitting at a carnival any day. Flexx likened a man squirting to shooting your life out of your dick and wondered if women felt similar physical reactions.Felony thought it’s a bit draining but not to the extent you need a 15 minute break.

“Some females can go right away,” said Hefner. “I’ve seen Flower. She was ready to go. You were ready to go but Cytherea looked like she was having an epileptic fit after she busted a nut. It’s like she can’t be touched. She goes crazy.” Felony said she’s experienced similar reactions where she felt like her legs shriveled.

“My titty has just shriveled- my whole is quivering.” Felony remembered doing a movie where she came 15 times.

But during this movie, Felony said she didn’t keep count of her squirts as much as she “dried out.” She also said “recovery” depends on the particular person.

Noting that much of the activity takes place in a boxing ring, Hefner said he felt bad for Felony when they brought the guys in.

“She had one not two guys that couldn’t keep it hard,” reported Hefner. “They had to tap out. I can say who they are. It was Jack Lawrence and Trent Soluri- those guys needed Viagra.” Felony referred to the men having “personal issues.”

“Thank God Mr. Pete was there,” she said. Hefner agreed that Mr. Pete worked like a machine.

“Those two guys may have had a problem but Mr. Pete was that good where he could take over,” chimed in Maravich.Hefner also complimented “old school” Mark Davis.

“He’s forty-something years old and still laying it down,” Hefner continued. “He was happy to be in it- he was getting squirted all over the place- he was drinking it. It was madness.”

Flexxx noted that to fuck a girl to “squirtation” wasn’t easy.

“It’s quite a bit of work- you have to hit the right spot. I’m trying to defend these guys.” There was a remark about food poisoning and Hefner said he didn’t want to go that far to talk about it.

“Maybe he’s [ Lawrence] gay- I don’t know. All I know, if your a male performer, you’re a professional. You should be used to people being around and when you’re doing it you should be focused on the female performer. Maybe he was thinking about Mr. Pete. I don’t know.”

Felony said it was particularly awesome with her, Flower and Mr. Pete when they worked together. Felony mentioned that she also likes to be on the receiving end of a squirt.

“The hot fucking juices, hmmmm.” Felony then demonstrated where her G-spot was.

“That’s far up,” Flexxx laughed, wondering how long the movie was. Hefner said there was a lot of cool outtakes as well and that Ron Jeremy was also in the movie.

“Ron gets his hands in everything,” Flexxx roared. “He wants to get the tip in and he does it one way or another.” It sounded like Jeremy, who was also a judge, managed to get the tip in with the entire cast.

Flexxx wondered who the most impressive squirter of the bunch was.

“Flower was on fire,” declared Hefner.

“She was like bring it on,” Felony added. Maravich said he was fearing for his safety at that point.

For her part, Felony said she can squirt from oral sex if a man knows what he’s doing. Otherwise there’s no way in hell.

“Anally- women do have a G-spot in their anus I have to say,” she stated. Angela Stone apparently falls in that category.When asked to be the host Maravich wondered if he had to wear a slicker and galoshes.

“It was like being on a slip and slide- lots of fun,” he said. According to Maravich he’s something of a local hero back in Missouri for being in this production.

Hefner said the show was shot in Hi-Def and looks like the squirt is coming out of the TV ready to hit you.

Flexxx also wondered if Felony ever ran into a guy who was turned off by her squirting. She said no.

“It turns them more on,” she insisted. Flexxx was willing to bet some guy must have gotten upset when she soaked his sheets. To that Hefner said he could come up with a couple of names- Lawrence and Soluri.

“I think they’re going to be in a new movie together called The Great American Jerk Off. I guarantee you they won’t have any problems in the ring with each other at that point.” Flexxx said he’s never known Lawrence to be a limp woodsman.

“He was having a gay moment, I guess,” replied Hefner.

“You seem more bugged by this than Felony is,” Flexxx told him. “She’s the one who should be pissed.” What Hefner said he liked was Felony’s honesty.

“She didn’t have to say anything- it was your face that said it all. She didn’t fake it at all.”

“When I have sex I like to enjoy it,” Felony agreed. “I completely enjoy myself. I don’t do anything that I don’t enjoy. I’m very sexual. When it comes to a point like this one, if I’m very disappointed, all my expression is in my face. I can’t hold back if I’m upset, if I’m happy or if I’m pissed.”

“You were honest and the people who did the production were honest and kept it in there,” Hefner added. “That way people like myself who really watch the shit can pinpoint and say, hey, there’s a fucked up situation right there.”

Flexxx said he’d want to see the movie just for that. Maravich explained the way the movie was set up you had to keep the cameras rolling and go with the punches.

“The director made the call- this is great footage- we can’t cut it out.”