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Florida Inmate Convicted for Jacking It

Ft. Lauderdale, Florida- In a verdict that could chill lonely inmates everywhere, a jury today convicted a Florida inmate for masturbating in the privacy of his Ft. Lauderdale cell.

After deliberating for only 45 minutes, a Broward County panel found Terry Lee Alexander, 20, guilty of indecent exposure for an episode last November. According to investigators, a female guard–who was monitoring Alexander’s cell from a jail control room–spotted Alexander pleasuring himself while seated on his bunk.

At the time, he was jailed on auto theft and gun raps (Alexander subsequently pleaded guilty to the felony raps and was sentenced to ten years in prison). Alexander was sentenced to 60 days in custody for today’s indecent exposure conviction, though the time will be served concurrently with his lengthier sentence.

No, you’ll get no jokes from us about the penal system, doing “hard time,” Alexander behaving like a jerk, or how his lawyer failed to get him off.

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