Porn Valley- Hannah Harper, www.hannahharper.net was on The Wanker Show for the first time ever. Wankus noted that Harper had been scheduled to come on his show a couple of years ago but due to a weird mishap never made it. “Somebody fucked up and I won’t mention any names,” said Wankus. “And everything got really bad. We all had a hiccup. It was a couple of years of ugliness. But all of a sudden we’re friends now and we’re all together, love, peace and ya-ya-ya.

“You wanted to fuck me in Tampa [at the Internext show], didn’t you?” Wankus then asked Harper, speaking of love. “I felt you were there- you were drunk.”

Harper admitted she was giving Wankus some drunken, sideways glances.

“One night you and Rio invited me back to the room. I wanted to go really bad but I ended up going home with glass in my foot.” Wankus explained that he was involved in a pool incident. And, Harper, similarly had one in which someone she didn’t know tossed her in the pool fully clothed. “Just some random guy. I wouldn’t mind if it was a friend. All I heard him say was what the fuck and he throws me in the pool.” Harper ended up with a bruise the length of her whole thigh.

Actually, Harper was scheduled to have been on KSEX last week and Wankus thought for sure she was getting him back for the incident of a couple of years ago. Apologizing, Harper said she wished she had some elaborate excuse to explain why she didn’t make it. Wankus noted that Harper and Mary Carey are very good friends and had done a promo together recently.

“Mary and I used to be very good friends,” Wankus added. “Actually I’m the one who gave her man the name, no-neck. He was a dick. He came in here one night being his normal asshole self. On the air I go, so Mary, who’s the no-neck? And I never get the credit for that.” Wankus explained that the only reason he and Carey have been distanced is that because when she was campaigning for governor, “she blew off a lot of the adult press.”

“I said when that’s all over we’re still going to be here and we’re going to support you , and she didn’t, and I felt slighted and I said a few things.” Harper was of the opinion that Carey doesn’t always think things through. “There’s nothing malicious about her.”

Harper then announced that she and Carey are going to start featuring together in January. Although Carey has danced, Harper gave the impression that she herself isn’t exactly light on the foot.

“Then you are British,” Wankus laughed. Harper said she tried dancing once in L.A. “Every time I go and sign, someone’s always asking when are you going to dance. I feel bad. I feel like I should do it. I’ll do it with Mary and she’ll steal the show anyway.” Wankus agreed that Carey is very good at being “a presence”.

Harper noted that her first movie which she directed for Sin City, Dream Team, is now out. “Then I did a second one on Monday-Tuesday which I think is partly the reason I completely forgot [about her KSEX scheduling last week].

“It went okay. I’m going to sit on the editing and see how it all gets together.”

Besides, Harper also wrote the movie. “It’s even more nerve wracking. You’re writing it, you’re directing it. And you’re starring in it. If you get there and someone says something about the writing- this is big crap- you know you’re the one who did it. And I was my own production manager for awhile. I only got a production manager two days before the shoot. I was really stressed out about this one.”

Wankus ventured to say there was a lot more money in directing than being talent.

“Just for the hell of it, because I’m an asshole, let’s break it down for some of the people in the audience that wonder how money is made in the adult business. There’s a whole spectrum of money. Believe it or not -this is pathetic- there are girls that do scenes for a couple hundred bucks. And there’s girls that do scenes for a thousand bucks. And there’s girl on contract- a whole other thing.

“The talent money is not where the money is,” he continued. “Even though some girls can make anywhere between $50,000 and $250,000 a year just fucking on camera. But directing- there’s a market there that’s pretty fucking nice. You wonder to yourself why is that girl directing now or why is that guy directing. If you land with the right company, a lot of times, what they do they’ll give you a budget. They’ll say for this film you’ll get $30,000. And here’s what we want in the film and what’s ever left over is yours. And you learn how to penny pinch real fucking fast when you know that you can make a film for ten grand and keep twenty.”

Harper said being on the agent’s side of the business she often got calls from directors who told her they can’t pay the talent the standard rate. “Why are we fighting over a hundred bucks? But then I figured out that’s why we are because they get to keep the rest.”

Wankus said that’s the inside of the adult business a lot of people don’t know. “But sometimes a directing gig can be real cushy. Not just directing. Even if you’re the guy they come to to make the movie. You can hire your own director. You can hire your own producer- all that shit.”

Wankus said a lot of people are under the impression porn vids make hundreds of thousands of dollars. “Most of them don’t. The statistic is, the average porn brings in fifty, sixty grand. That’s just total cash in from the time it’s released. If it cost you twenty, thirty grand, that’s not a really big profit.”

Wankus mentioned that’s why you hear about a girl making 300 movies in a year. “That’s how you make money.” Harper threw in the fact about feature dancing. Wankus suspected that Harper, being on fire the way she is, will command a big rate if she feature dances.

“They haven’t seen me dance,” she answered dryly. Wankus wondered whether Harper was going to include anything cool or wacky, noting Gauge’s recent appearance which he attended. “She painted her tits and pussy and then she’d lay down on a white t-shirt and she’d pass them out.”

What made it even funnier, said Wankus, is that Gauge would walk up to a guy and smash her tits in their face. “She’d go aaaaaaaaaaagh, and they don’t realize they have paint all over their face as they’re walking around the club.”

Harper said she hadn’t pinned Carey down to make any decisions about gimmicks. “She’s all over the place right now.”

Someone in the KSEX chatroom quipped that Harper could make money selling lemonade.

With his birthday coming up in January, Wankus mentioned that his girlfriend Daisy said it would be alright to bring along a porn chick to a hotel romp near Disneyland which they’ve got planned. “We’ll all get Mickey ears and we’ll all just get it on.”

Daisy, who was co-ho’ing for the ill Katie Morgan, thought they could all sing a rendition of It’s a Small World After All when they see Wankus’s penis.